Should I stay away from him?

anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
I posted this in Horary Astrology but was told this isn't a horary question. So I'm reposting here...

I ran into my exbf of 5 years ago Saturday night and we ended up making out. This was one of the more difficult break ups in my life and our relationship was pretty intense / explosive in terms of everything, especially physical chemistry. We've both grown up a bit since then, but is he just looking to hook up? He told me that he's never quite gotten over me. I don't know what I think I'm doing here... hope I'm not opening up a healed wound. I feel detached enough from it, but I do remember how intoxicating it felt being with him.

I don't have his exact birth time because he was born in Ireland and for some reason doesn't have the time, but his dad used to say he was born around lunch time. I'm not sure about the Ascendant..Cancer doesn't seem right to me. I'm attaching my natal with transits and our synastry and composites. Thanks so much!
 

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Vista

Vista

Well-known member
anjelik said:
I posted this in Horary Astrology but was told this isn't a horary question. So I'm reposting here...

I ran into my exbf of 5 years ago Saturday night and we ended up making out. This was one of the more difficult break ups in my life and our relationship was pretty intense / explosive in terms of everything, especially physical chemistry. We've both grown up a bit since then, but is he just looking to hook up? He told me that he's never quite gotten over me. I don't know what I think I'm doing here... hope I'm not opening up a healed wound. I feel detached enough from it, but I do remember how intoxicating it felt being with him.

I don't have his exact birth time because he was born in Ireland and for some reason doesn't have the time, but his dad used to say he was born around lunch time. I'm not sure about the Ascendant..Cancer doesn't seem right to me. I'm attaching my natal with transits and our synastry and composites. Thanks so much!
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None of these charts have Cancer ASC. Whose chart's whose's?
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
Vista said:
None of these charts have Cancer ASC. Whose chart's whose's?
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I posted our composite and synastry. Then there is my natal with transits. I didn't post his natal, but I could. I was just referencing that his natal shows a Cancer ASC.
 

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Vista

Vista

Well-known member
anjelik said:
I posted our composite and synastry. Then there is my natal with transits. I didn't post his natal, but I could. I was just referencing that his natal shows a Cancer ASC.
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Maybe he is Gemini rising. I would consider lunchtime 11-1:00pm range. I think if you do get back together it might not last or it will be very challenging. In the fall you will have transiting Saturn square your ASC/DEC axis and if he is Cancer Rising, it will do the same-thing to his ASC/DEC axis. Right before that it will also oppose his Sun and Venus. With transiting Saturn and Pluto Retrograde right now it's not surprising people from the past are coming around again. Your composite chart shows mostly squares, oppositions and one conjunction between Sun and Mercury. There really isn't a lot of benefic aspects to off-set the challenging ones. He is also someone who values his freedom with Sun Aries and Moon Sag. You do too, but you probably haven't come to terms with this. Your 7th ruler Moon is opposed by Uranus. There is a slight instability of your emotions there and a tendency to like men who are unavailable to you. This can come in any form such as distance, in anther relationship, not that interested, emotionally unavailable, etc, This dynamic can go both ways too in that the men who are interested in you are one's you don't really want. You can also get seriously involved with people and then lose interest or think the grass in greener elsewhere. It's a bad cycle to get into as it's one where your emotional needs will never be met.

Maybe you should just wait and see what he does and then just ask him what his intentions are.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
Vista said:
Maybe he is Gemini rising. I would consider lunchtime 11-1:00pm range. I think if you do get back together it might not last or it will be very challenging. In the fall you will have transiting Saturn square your ASC/DEC axis and if he is Cancer Rising, it will do the same-thing to his ASC/DEC axis. Right before that it will also oppose his Sun and Venus. With transiting Saturn and Pluto Retrograde right now it's not surprising people from the past are coming around again. Your composite chart shows mostly squares, oppositions and one conjunction between Sun and Mercury. There really isn't a lot of benefic aspects to off-set the challenging ones. He is also someone who values his freedom with Sun Aries and Moon Sag. You do too, but you probably haven't come to terms with this. Your 7th ruler Moon is opposed by Uranus. There is a slight instability of your emotions there and a tendency to like men who are unavailable to you. This can come in any form such as distance, in anther relationship, not that interested, emotionally unavailable, etc, This dynamic can go both ways too in that the men who are interested in you are one's you don't really want. You can also get seriously involved with people and then lose interest or think the grass in greener elsewhere. It's a bad cycle to get into as it's one where your emotional needs will never be met.

Maybe you should just wait and see what he does and then just ask him what his intentions are.
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Gemini rising sounds about right. He is very quick witted and his humor / jolliness is what attracted me to him. If he were to have a Gemini rising how would that affect our charts? I just changed the time and Gemini is only until 10am and then Leo would seem fitting as well. As he does like to spend money extravagantly. He was born in Ireland.

Yes, you are right that he likes his independence and you are also right in saying that I like mine as well. I don't like guys that are overly clingy and gushy and yes.. it is a vicious cycle. I would like to break it, but I am just not attracted to people that come on strong or seem like they want to smother me ASAP.
 
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Vista

Vista

Well-known member
anjelik said:
Gemini rising sounds about right. He is very quick witted and his humor / jolliness is what attracted me to him. If he were to have a Gemini rising how would that affect our charts? I just changed the time and Gemini is only until 10am and then Leo would seem fitting as well. As he does like to spend money extravagantly. He was born in Ireland.

Yes, you are right that he likes his independence and you are also right in saying that I like mine as well. I don't like guys that are overly clingy and gushy and yes.. it is a vicious cycle. I would like to break it, but I am just not attracted to people that come on strong or seem like they want to smother me ASAP.
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It's really hard to speculate how it would affect your relationship if at all if he was Gemini rising. Actually, Cancer rising would probably be better because both your ASC's would be conjunct each others DEC. Also, I believe your Moon is in or would be in his 7th house, which is nice. I realize that people grow as they age but history does have a way of repeating itself. If there are basic incompatibility issues between you then they will likely resurface again.

I don't like pushy guys either. Could you not give them a chance and develop a solid friendship first? Maybe you would come to like these men. Whatever you are currently doing you need to do the opposite or the cycle will repeat. I know, I have the same issue with Uranus squaring my 7th ruler. It's made for some extremely unhappy relationships and fast beginnings and abrupt and unexpected endings. The only difference is that I am a lot older than you so time is not my friend. You also have a square between your Sun and Moon showing your parents were either divorced or disconnected towards each other in the home as in "just staying together for the kids." This complicates your relationships too as there wasn't good role modeling as a child. You need to somehow figure out a way to reprogram yourself, maybe through reading books, going to workshops or even getting some kind of counseling.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
Vista said:
It's really hard to speculate how it would affect your relationship if at all if he was Gemini rising. Actually, Cancer rising would probably be better because both your ASC's would be conjunct each others DEC. Also, I believe your Moon is in or would be in his 7th house, which is nice. I realize that people grow as they age but history does have a way of repeating itself. If there are basic incompatibility issues between you then they will likely resurface again.

I don't like pushy guys either. Could you not give them a chance and develop a solid friendship first? Maybe you would come to like these men. Whatever you are currently doing you need to do the opposite or the cycle will repeat. I know, I have the same issue with Uranus squaring my 7th ruler. It's made for some extremely unhappy relationships and fast beginnings and abrupt and unexpected endings. The only difference is that I am a lot older than you so time is not my friend. You also have a square between your Sun and Moon showing your parents were either divorced or disconnected towards each other in the home as in "just staying together for the kids." This complicates your relationships too as there wasn't good role modeling as a child. You need to somehow figure out a way to reprogram yourself, maybe through reading books, going to workshops or even getting some kind of counseling.
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Our major problem was his partying.. which has toned down quite a bit from what I can gather. He's 34 and was 29 when we dated. Our break up was very abrupt - I basically flipped out and told him to never call me again. I feel like we never had closure.

My parents were very disconnected and I do think they stayed together just for us kids.. I always used to tell them to get divorced. Also, my father worked as a firefighter so he wouldn't be home for 24 hr shifts at a time, so I have a strange view of a functioning relationship for sure I suppose.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
I've just been reading a bit about Pluto retrograding. Do you think maybe he is back in my life to help me break a bad cycle? He was like heroin to me and maybe this is to help me to stop getting into bad situations and gain control? That's all I can think of.
 
Vista

Vista

Well-known member
anjelik said:
Our major problem was his partying.. which has toned down quite a bit from what I can gather. He's 34 and was 29 when we dated. Our break up was very abrupt - I basically flipped out and told him to never call me again. I feel like we never had closure.

My parents were very disconnected and I do think they stayed together just for us kids.. I always used to tell them to get divorced. Also, my father worked as a firefighter so he wouldn't be home for 24 hr shifts at a time, so I have a strange view of a functioning relationship for sure I suppose.
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He's got Neptune squaring Mars and Moon opposite Neptune. Could have an alcohol or drug problem or develop one as he gets a little older. The Mars square Neptune aspect can be a little tricky, it can be someone who is dishonest, into sexual intrigues, prone to STDs, Drugs, alcohol, etc. Not saying this is always the manifestations, however at some point in their lives one of these issues seem to crop up. Maybe you shouldn't get involved with him romantically until you have spent time with him again to see how he is running his life now. Maybe you didn't have closure, but I assume he knew you didn't like his partying and if he didn't stop you would be gone? Be practical and look at the big picture. Is he someone you can spend your life with and who could be the father of your children? Take the emotion out of it. Watch out for unexpected pregnancies too, your natal Moon is in the 5th house of children and it's opposed to Uranus(the planet of the unexpected).

Edit: Sorry! Just looked at your chart again and your Moon is in the 4th not the 5th house. Nevermind what I said about the unexpected pregnancy.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
Hmmmm wow.. it says all of that in his chart? I would say yes to almost all of that. Scary.

As far as unexpected pregnancies go.. is that in my chart in particular or OUR chart?
 
Vista

Vista

Well-known member
anjelik said:
Hmmmm wow.. it says all of that in his chart? I would say yes to almost all of that. Scary.

As far as unexpected pregnancies go.. is that in my chart in particular or OUR chart?
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I editted my post about the pregnancy. Mistakenly placed your Moon in the 5th house. To be honest, I think he is part of your of your bad cycle and it's more likely you are getting into the same type of thing again rather than breaking it.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
Vista said:
I editted my post about the pregnancy. Mistakenly placed your Moon in the 5th house. To be honest, I think he is part of your of your bad cycle and it's more likely you are getting into the same type of thing again rather than breaking it.
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Meh. Probably so. He hasn't left my head since the incident Saturday night. My friend asked me if I felt anything and I lied and told her no. He was like a drug to me. I guess I'm just being hopeful that it could be different this time around.
 
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Vista

Vista

Well-known member
One other thing, maybe he is Cancer rising as it sounds like you broke up under his Saturn return which would be the ruler of his 7th house if he were Cancer rising.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
Vista said:
One other thing, maybe he is Cancer rising as it sounds like you broke up under his Saturn return which would be the ruler of his 7th house if he were Cancer rising.
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We broke up New Years Eve (technically day) and he turned 30 April 7th of that year.
 
anjelik

anjelik

Well-known member
Vista said:
I see! So many people break up on that day! I wonder why???
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Do they? Hmmm.. I guess fresh start mentality?

We broke up because I was tired of coming second to his partying and lost my temper. I was also very drunk so my reaction was very over the top. Oh well.
 
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