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Unread 05-12-2018, 10:27 AM
myapie myapie is offline
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 86
Re: what kind of woman this Virgo is attracted to?

I will add something here.
I stopped undervaluing myself.

I started doing it at my university. When I got into Architecture i knew i had some artistic skills ( genetics, parents are artists) but i was afraid to show it.

Surrounded by people who didnt have many skills as me i started to undervalue myself. Because i wanted to be liked and accepted so somehow I just didnt do what I wanted I was hiding it to be accepted. Because to show off means to be bad. And actually I was insecure inside to even defend my project or my work. SO i was in silence.

It was the same not only in this field. Also other fields, sport, boyfriends etc. I have always been striving for being liked ( even though i had a self acceptance) by a lot of people and I wanted to have LOT of friends.

A lot of people took me as an inspiration. I felt like a sponge because a gave a lot and got a little or nothing in return.

So many years i felt very tired , not energized enough.

That is why i told you about people patterned themselves on me ( and i am not bragging about it) and then didnt give me anything in return.

I was NICE and actually i was naive and i didnt know that MY FRIENDS would not give me in return or why are they asking me about so many stuff. I was always answering .

Now since 2-3 years ( just.. its so little i feel like i wasted my whole youth and study period) i stopped telling people anything. I put myself first.
I am being more egoistical I do what i want , I do everything in silence and the result is a wow.

I had even an interview in a local Radio Station about my workshops, studies, my life in general what i did during my architecture period. A lot of people ( outside people) perceive me as a cool individual, someone who achieved a lot.

I was doing it because i was seeking my worth in others eyes in different fields. And my tactic was to learn from the beginning sometimes i was putting myself even in some frields i didnt know and i was the worst and i was climbing a ladder of success. And people from the beginning who were yelling at me or who actually thought i was not good, changed their mind of me because they saw i was doing a lot and i was working a lot.

And i was doing a lot of additional courses and workshops because a lot of my friends from studies in this period of time was worse than me. I was a person who was inspiring them ( I know that because 3 of my friends told me so) but i didnt have anyone to learn from. and that was a problem because in some years i felt i was running in the same place and i was hitting a wall with my head.
I knew and I felt that ; ok i want something more, i want something simple, new challenges, people who will inspire me , people who can tell me and teach me. I am a person who did not make drama and i was usually learning in a peace atmosphere. A lot of my studies friends were immature to 'be with me' in some group projects . It sounds ridiculous as i could judge them but i want silence and peace to be fruitful and make work great.

A lot of people just bothered me.

And i started to realise why some people work alone . Why are individuals who make good things perceived as egoistical, not nice and etc. Why? because they focus on themselves and actually they do what they want not caring about the others.

My way of thinking was always like that BUT inside i had an inner voice telling me that i must be like my friends. That we are all average.
A lot of my friends told me that because of my family income and level i was born in i couldnt be better or perceived like better social class.

A lot of my friends told me so because they were the same. They didnt make any progress.
Since high school my parents told me not to tell everything to others because sometime they can take everything from you.

When i felt bad because of this Taurus woman and Capricorn woman a few years ago, i started being myself- egoistical aries focused on myself.

I really worked and did a lot. Of course I am not a queen but i feel like i am climbing now the real ladder of success in life.
Before i was climbing some ladders of student success which is actually not a real life.
But now i am more prepared.
Even thought i didnt finish my master degree yet and i am 28. I do not complain. Before i had some inner issues comparing myself to others. I need to be calm in mind to finish it.
And i am doing in in peace.

Its not bachelor degree that we must do fast to be enrolled on master degree in 2 weeks after. Master degree is your book, your story of a project and i needed to actually understand that that i dont need to prove anything to anyone because of my thesis.

And its not me being lazy.
Its because after my coming back from spain i think i am into some transision period of accepting myself and my life here. And i am not chasing anything. I am living day by day not chasing the future or analysing everyones steps.

I cut off some bad people who were putting me down. I feel more fresh. When i feel fresh I see they want to come back because i am a person who dont need other person to improve. I am improving innerly myself. And i get stronger myself. I am an individual unit who needs to rebuild to be able to give and work.

Some people jump from relationship to relationship or have secret lovers because they do not stand being alone and they do not know theselves being alone. But its important.

Maybe I will add something here. Because you helped me a lot and i am thankful so much. I have one more question that i want to ask considering my work now.
Since november 2017 i am in some architectural organisations with my fellow architecture friends ( that i didnt know before, they are younger 2-4 years but we knew only themselves on facebook, not personally).
We organise annual national architectural workshops. I was asked to do it by my friend who invited me there. She also asked my sister ( also studies architecture and is younger). I am the oldest one.

I think This friend likes me but our relation is weird. She was born 21.03.1992 so the same day as me but 2 years after me.
She is very delicate, slow in movements and in a talk, very detailed oriented and a workaholic.
I know that before she perceived me as too energetic person who was disorganised. Somehow the atmosphere in a group with her being very slow is good for me because i am not in a n inner rush and i started to being organised as i said before i am not chasing now only do my things.

The problem is that she has a moon in scorpio I suppose and even without knowing it i felt she was suspicious. She is kind of double faced but doesnt say to you straight only behind your back. She thinks that saying straight is not diplomatic . She is over the top, she is very rich but very work oriented so its good. But sometimes i thought before she was doing the workshop only for herself and her other friends and just asked me not to be the organiser but a 'worker'. I thought she wanted others to work for it and she would take the pride as a leader. But there is a problem because i am assertive now and its me who wants things to be explained and opened to everyone.
She likes me now but sometimes i think she is insecure of herself and wants to be the best. She does things behind back like talking to other people or talking to institutions and then when the result is 100% she tells us. Like she doesnt tell the process.

It was like that in the past but now i think its ok. I dont tell her everything in100% but i think maybe i should be more open?
With her 21.03 i was afraid that she would take my friends, my achievements and be better. But now i am more confident and actually i work as equal. What do you think?
I perepared her natal chart but dont know exact birth time.

Thank you,
hope since Uranus will be in Taurus from 15.05 everything will come smoothly and fine.
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Last edited by myapie; 05-12-2018 at 10:50 AM.
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