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Unread 05-04-2018, 06:02 AM
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Osamenor Osamenor is offline
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Re: what kind of woman this Virgo is attracted to?

Originally Posted by myapie View Post
yes its about me.
i think its because of my parents as well. not letting me experience life on a normal level in a different times of my life. when i was a teenager, when i was a student and etc. i was closed a bit in a good homely bubble and i didnt like how my friends behave.
but my friends have had relations have had dramas and i was only an observer. because i was scared of getting into(?) as well i was judging them that i was more serious and actually more grounded than them.

but it turned out differently.
with their dramas with teenage life they had experiences how to behave in mid 20ties and etc . i didnt.
my path seems so slow.

when i will be a mother i will put my hild into the life enrolling him/her on some courses when they will be 10 years old and later. to experience life and how to cooperate with others.

i started to gain my confidence when i was 25 after a failure with men.
it was not because of my body it was because of my mental state.

i now live with parents and they perceive me as good friends,my mother thinks i am her best friend. she alwas comes up and talk to me even when i am busy.

she told me that i will regret it when she dies.

its a bit of an manipulation.

i have always been EMPATHETIC. i have always been TOO GOOD. some people's good was always above my good. because that situation was at my home.
always help others then help yourself.

i started doing it in rela life and i was failing everytime i was doing sth- school, men women relationships and etc.

i saw my friends ( even though those toxic people) having relations. i wanted to be the same.
i told them everything.

i dont know how to do it in near future. maybe my moving out will work.
i dont want to be mentally dependable.

its because my parents are STILL ( even when iam28) scared of me and my sister ( 26) lives. my sister now goes with her friend ( a guy) abroad for a 1 week trip.
when our mum heard this she immidiately started booking some 1 -person- hostel room for my sister - because she is scared that my sister and that guy will have something between them...

its scary .
i am not a nun.
everytime i was asking ( when i was teenager) my mum about those sexual matters she didnt answer, everything i learnt from friends and from magazines...
i was ashamed getting my period.
i was ashamed letting my 1st boyfriend touch me.

i feel like i lack of something and when i get older people see that. and i need to be very very coautious and self aware to select a relationship for me now. because i dont have alot of experience and i dont know how to flirt or talk to men.

i remember asking my female friends in high school about boys matters- they were gossiping about their mothers and first kiss and etc.
i didnt have it with my mum. like it would be a tabu.

so i got scared about those intimate relations.
because i knew that i cant tell it my mum wven when i will be an adult.

thats why i am scared of a relation with virgo.
and i m scared of getting rejected because of my insecurities and not being experienced.

i remember that even 3 years ago - my parents words - have been the most important to me after my opinion. now its not.

i dont know why i was like that its sad.

thank you for all of your replies.

i dhope i didnt get you bored with my writing.
Is living with your parents as an adult what people usually do in Poland? Or is that unusual, and they're holding you back? It sounds like they're holding you back in some ways, but I don't want to assume that having you live with them is holding you back if it's the norm where you live.

It does sound like moving out would help. At the very least, you would have some space from your parents. You could decide if and when you wanted to see them. You could start figuring out what you really want that might be different from what they want.

I thought there might be some kind of sexual trauma in your life, but didn't want to suggest it in case it wasn't true or you weren't ready to share. That doesn't necessarily mean being raped, but smaller trauma is still trauma. Feeling shame about your body, and shame about being touched by a boyfriend when you (presumably) want him to, is a kind of sexual trauma. Pluto square Venus can indicate sexual trauma in your life, especially when there's more in the chart to suggest it. In your case, there is. Not only is your Pluto square Venus, it's on the cusp of your fifth house--fifth and eighth houses are associated with sexuality--and in Scorpio, which is also associated with sexuality.

We're also looking, in this square, at trauma or denial of femininity. Lots of women feel shame about their periods, but that in itself is a sign of femininity being denied. Menstrual cycles are part of feminine power. If you're made ashamed of it, that's denying your power.
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