I love acting but

Hello everyone; I’m curious if there’s something from my chart that could explain how both my intuition and active, conscious mind work. I know that my intuition is very strong, and it barely ever misleads me (for some reason that doesn’t concern matters of me being hired somewhere, etc: for some reason I think that, say, my interview won’t be successful, but then it turns out people eventually hire me). There are moments though, when my conscious mind starts interfering with it, questioning my desires and decisions, thus either making me very sad that what I _feel_ is right may actually be not right for me, or triggering very exhausting repetitive thought loops. In short, that’s overthinking I suppose. But then I question myself “but what if that’s actually your intuition??”

For instance, recently I’ve started practicing acting. I loooove it. There are some things in my life that feel strangely personal for me, and this thing has quickly become one of them. I immerse myself in the process itself, and it feels so right, like some sort of lost but very dear part of me. Even my tutor said to me after the first lesson that it’s like I’ve been here [drama school] already. And the thing is, I would only be happy to continue doing it, but I’m terrified of thinking how to... incorporate it into my life more, as in pursuing it professionally. I’m afraid of taking the wrong route, and I’m already all over the place: I’ve majored in graphic design and currently work in this field, but the job is so **** draining, it’s not that part of design that I Iove at all. I like designing, but not what I do now. I cry occasionally because I understand that I just physically can’t work regular days, doing tasks I hate. But I need money right now - for a musical instrument (because I want to continue writing my own music), and now the whole acting stuff. I actually wouldn’t be able to start participating in it at all if I didn’t have money. I want to keep all the things I love; I actually feel happy just playing music and performing in theatre, but I have no clue how to structure it in a way to make it profitable. I know and feel that I’d be genuinely content and happy just doing these things (and also drawing), but I need the structure. It’s so hard to even start planning how structure it. Maybe because I can’t actually predict a lot of stuff? People say that I’m overflowing with creativity, that’s true I guess, but there are aspects of it which are just awful. It’s very hard for me live in a world like this, where I have to stress myself out doing stuff I hate just for making money so I could finally feel at ease in evenings playing music, acting or drawing. And furthermore, I would like to do all of those things for my whole life, while making others happy. But those **** finances

And right now I’m totally confused as to what part of myself to trust. I don’t know anymore if it’s my gut feeling telling me “don’t do it” (continuing with acting), or if it’s my tendency to overthink.

God I’m all over the place here

https://pasteboard.co/IjyHQRH.png

Moon in self-expression house, to Tom

Tom,

You said:

MajorTom said:

...I’m curious if there’s something from my chart that could explain how both my intuition and active, conscious mind work...There are moments though, when my conscious mind starts interfering with it, questioning my desires and decisions, thus either making me very sad that what I _feel_ is right may actually be not right for me, or triggering very exhausting repetitive thought loops. In short, that’s overthinking I suppose. But then I question myself “but what if that’s actually your intuition??”

...I’ve started practicing acting...I’ve majored in graphic design and currently work in this field...I need money right now - for a musical instrument (because I want to continue writing my own music)...I have no clue how to structure it in a way to make it profitable...People say that I’m overflowing with creativity...

Click to expand...

You have Moon (change) in the self-expression house, suggesting you have a strong need to express yourself and be recognized for it (e.g., drama, graphic design, and music) but that these creative self-expressive opportunities will frequently change. However, Moon has only one aspect so it barely "connects in" to the chart. This results in OVERdoing creative things (as you have seen). You also have Mercury (thinking, also talking) square (energy needs to be combined with) Neptune (fantasy) so fantasy thinking and talking is a STRONG interest for you. Where your energy IS focused in your chart is on Jupiter (expansion) conjunct (energy is combined with) Uranus (innovation) so you continually expand your ability to innovate. The result of all this is it can leave you a little bit scattered as you focus on expressing your fantasies creatively in innovative and ever-expanding ways.

Perhaps it will help first to accept that you will NOT "settle down" into one thing. That's just not you. Expect to continually innovate and bounce around from one thing to the other. You also have Mars (action) conjunct the North node (future goals) in the money house, so you have a focus on MAKING money. However, like the Moon, Mars has only one aspect to it so it does not "connect in" with the rest of the chart indicating you OVERdo your efforts to make money. You WILL find innovative ways to express yourself and this WILL lead you to making money, if you let it. USE your creative flexibility and innovative skills in creative ways to find money-making opportunities. It will take EFFORT and WORK...but you won't always FEEL like you're getting anywhere. But if you look back at where you WERE and see where you ARE, most likely you will see there has been LOT of progress...you just weren't focused on it.

Creatively,

Tim

wilsontc said:

Tom,

You said:


You have Moon (change) in the self-expression house, suggesting you have a strong need to express yourself and be recognized for it (e.g., drama, graphic design, and music) but that these creative self-expressive opportunities will frequently change. However, Moon has only one aspect so it barely "connects in" to the chart. This results in OVERdoing creative things (as you have seen). You also have Mercury (thinking, also talking) square (energy needs to be combined with) Neptune (fantasy) so fantasy thinking and talking is a STRONG interest for you. Where your energy IS focused in your chart is on Jupiter (expansion) conjunct (energy is combined with) Uranus (innovation) so you continually expand your ability to innovate. The result of all this is it can leave you a little bit scattered as you focus on expressing your fantasies creatively in innovative and ever-expanding ways.

Perhaps it will help first to accept that you will NOT "settle down" into one thing. That's just not you. Expect to continually innovate and bounce around from one thing to the other. You also have Mars (action) conjunct the North node (future goals) in the money house, so you have a focus on MAKING money. However, like the Moon, Mars has only one aspect to it so it does not "connect in" with the rest of the chart indicating you OVERdo your efforts to make money. You WILL find innovative ways to express yourself and this WILL lead you to making money, if you let it. USE your creative flexibility and innovative skills in creative ways to find money-making opportunities. It will take EFFORT and WORK...but you won't always FEEL like you're getting anywhere. But if you look back at where you WERE and see where you ARE, most likely you will see there has been LOT of progress...you just weren't focused on it.

Creatively,

Tim

Click to expand...

Hello Tim,

Thank you for your reply! I do agree with everything you’ve pointed out - expanding ways of expression all the time, overdoing my efforts to take money, and having a very strong need to put myself out there. The thing I fret the most about is how to combine all that zest for creative things and my ability and drive to earn money; I would gladly work a lot on all of my creative projects for that! And you’re right that sometimes it doesn’t really feel like I’m getting anywhere. But looking back, so much has changed for the better: I’ve actually just came home from a shop from where I’m finally going to pick up my electric guitar tomorrow, and I’m also going to a drama camp this week. I guess I would be in awe of the present version of myself three or four years ago. It’s all happening in between the times I’m at work doing boring stuff though, but at least that’s the thing I’m determined to change.

And I guess I’ll indeed have to cultivate my “not settling down on one thing”; I actually feel slight panic every time I think about picking out just one, no matter what it is; for some reason it just makes me feel trapped.