Bullying

theV

Well-known member
That's true but unfortunate. My communication is poor verbally and as a result I am a definite target for those who are beautifully skilled in the area. My north node is in Gemini, poorly aspected - go figure. Mars is poorly aspected. And pluto and Saturn are in the 12th house. You are definitely right. I don't originally see myself as a victim, but ppl do target me out of the blue and i've always wondered why. I am different, and like being different, but this irritates others and is a prime situation for a bully.

Me too, communication always been a wounded part of me, I have a hard time making people hear me and understand me, I had hard time speaking when I was young and I used to stutter a lot

But on the bright side my voice became a gift in entertaining other I can imitaite a lot of voices :cool:

I have chiron conjunct my mercury and saturn opposite sun/mercury midpoint
 

actio

Well-known member
dunno about tendency to be bullied

a couple of interesting aspects I've noticed in charts of bullies:
- Moon-Mars-Saturn stellium in Scorpio - moody, back-stabby vindictive personality
- Sun-Moon-Mercury stellium in Sagittarius - very assertive know-it-all personality
 

junoisuppose

Well-known member
I cam to this thread because I was feeling quite down about bullying that has happened to me, and a lot of what has been said already makes sense to me (so thank you to everyone who has contributed).

I have been bullied quite a few times in my life but the ones that I am really worried about involved scorpio/pluto. This is not to say that all scorpios bully but these three women had that. One I only know that her sun sign was scorpio (she had moon in pisces, mars in virgo and venus in sagittarius) I don't know what time she was born, and her bullying caused me to quit my job. The other 2 were gemini and taurus but both had libra rising with pluto conjunct the ascendant. One I thought was a good friend so I was surprised when she tried to dominate me and hurt me. She also has mars conjunct saturn, and both of those planets are conjunct my sun, so what somebody said earlier about synastry playing a part is definitely true here. The other is a member of my family, but fortunately not close, and her saturn is square my mars so again there is synastry there. This individual did have a difficult childhood leaving her feeling disempowered but that does not mean that unacceptable and damaging behaviour should be allowed.

Anyway I was feeling down because I had read that scorpio/pluto influenced women try to control and dominate people who they see as weak. So I was wondering whether I am weak or what I have done to cause these people to think so? They are all older than me, although one only 2 months.

In my chart I have neptune square the ascendant and I have read that that can cause a person to come across as weak and to be the target of bullying.

I also have a lot of the other aspects already mentioned:

sun conjunct saturn
venus conjunct saturn
chiron square sun
sun square uranus
mars in the 12th
pluto in the 1st
mars square neptune
moon trine pluto

I had been thinking that anyone can be the victim of bullying as I have seen a lot of it in my life. Someone said earlier that it is poor social skills or being different, but everyone has something that is different about them that a bully could pick at if they wanted to, and everyone has weaknesses. And good social skills only help to some extent, it seems to me that it is the bullies and the politicians who have the good social skills in that they are charming enough to get other people to support them or at least not to stop them.

I think perhaps it is a matter of if you can stand up to the bully then it will stop.

And perhaps people were on to something when they said that self-esteem plays a role in you deciding whether or not the bully is right and whether or not you have enough power to stand up to them.

But the other thing is with all my 12th house & neptunian influence I don't stand up to them. It is not that I think that they are right, and perhaps it would even help others if I stopped the bully now, but my neptune just doesn't want to be bothered to be involved in the confrontation that would be involved. :sad:

Also I think that no matter what I said these particular individuals would get defensive and start fighting back so I would end up having to walk away anyway, so why not just walk away now?

Perhaps I'll figure it out one day.
 

Abby83

Well-known member
Hello Junoisuppose,

Your message touched me. Mostly because I posted on here perhaps a yr ago. Since then I have educated myself and now looking at your post, ive realised just how far ive come.

You are spot on with the fact that bullies target people who are different. It's a strong reaction to the fact that there is someone different, whereas others are more accepting and agree to disagree or look for common ground. The worst part is many keep doing it if they get away with it over and over again. That is, until "somebody," maybe "you" makes that change.

In my experience, pluto has been the main source that has shown me when bullying occurred. And in my opinion, having a 12th house mars does make it a little difficult to take action as decisions can be a little foggy. Delusion, umming and ahhing are such 12th house things.

Anyway, ppl like these are everywhere. It's how you deal with it. Here are my tips that have helped incredibly over the last yr.

* stay calm, speak at a slow pace, you control your pace and decision to speak
* reflective listening - THE BEST THING IN THIS LIST I CAN RECOMMEND!!!! - Reflective listening is the best way to give a mirror reflection to the bully, using communication. If you can find someone to teach u this eg communications expert, you will win most battles. Otherwise I can teach you myself.It has worked in every situation I have tried.
* pay as little attention to them as possible - (bullies are desperate for attention so they will chase after you and notice the change immediately, but the more you move on, distance yourself, focus on yourself, be vague and brief with your dealings with them the better.) They'll get angry, throw tantrums, yet u carry on. They end up wasting their time and being the loser in the end because their time was invested in you, and your time was invested in you.
*Speak in terms of positive eg: someone will say your scarfe looks disgusting. You could say - Oh, you're repulsed by this scarfe. what would you prefer instead. they say - none, theyre all ugly. u say - I actually like the pattern on this scarfe, the fabric is warm, and im proud to have gotten it discounted half price. I cant wait to wear it with my new boots. etc.

this is an off the top of my head example but if you keep persisting with your positive responses, ppl are attracted to positive, so even if the bully is frustrated, other people will eventually be attracted to your self assurance, your confidence, positivity and belief in yourself, which the bully does not have. And they crumble. In fact they've already crumbled before they even started bullying. It's just that you pulled yourself down with it.

* Stay focused on your own needs and yourself.

Anyway, these are just some things I wanted to put out there cos I can see so many people are having trouble, as did I. Love you all.
 

Flapjacks

Well-known member
But the other thing is with all my 12th house & neptunian influence I don't stand up to them. It is not that I think that they are right, and perhaps it would even help others if I stopped the bully now, but my neptune just doesn't want to be bothered to be involved in the confrontation that would be involved. :sad:

Also I think that no matter what I said these particular individuals would get defensive and start fighting back so I would end up having to walk away anyway, so why not just walk away now?

Perhaps I'll figure it out one day.

I am also touched by your troubles. I really hope you learn how to handle these bullies and get them off your back! Abby gave some really great advice.

I've found ignoring bully behavior has been the best for me... walking away is a great option. Even if the bully keeps at it, eventually their ugliness shows through where everyone can see.

When I was in middle school I had a bully that would insult me every day. Her insults often made no sense at all... for instance, I'd come to school with wet hair having showered that morning, and she'd say something like, "did you actually wash your hair or just get it wet to make it look like it?" and often, I'd just look at her blankly and then ignore her. Any attempt to be nice to her or offer friendship failed.

The day she stopped bullying me is when I had rescued a bird that had a broken wing and was taking it to the school office so it could go to an animal hospital. She tried to make fun of me for it and several classmates rejected her for ridiculing an act of compassion. Eventually a bully will be seen for what they are, and it's important for you to stay true to yourself and not bend in their wake.
 

amrum11

Member
I hate to say this, but it is usually a lower level personae, such as the gray lizard scorpio with pluto, the cowardly pisces worried about social standing, the vague ambiguous fencesitter that would stab a victim if it was anonymous, but have coffee with them otherwise....thank you for the posting, this is timely, this is a current epidemic. Learn to identify them. Then, go home and read a book and watch a sunset. Hit the lottery a few times, whatever you have to do.

In full blown scorpio this is called "gangstalking"....check it out,....the latest and best american hobbie. The astrological question I pose is "who are these people, and what is their point, and , more amusing, they actually believe their actions have any relevance. They actually believe that all people are identical and share their views.
The truth is, every chart is unique, every person has their own power, and it isn't up to someone else to determine what it is. rock/paper/scissors maybe. If bullies don't kill you, you end up far better than you were before, not in spite of them, but because of them. And, similarly, many of the inverse opposites which you might think are bad might be helpful, and vice versa. Have a great day.
 

Abby83

Well-known member
I just wana add my opinion about the term "walking away."

A lot of ppl see this as running from something but really you are removing yourself from a toxic unhealthy environment that is not part of you, but part of someones messed up self, and so you put yourself somewhere you belong. Not every place on this earth is where you belong, naturally, because we are all different. They have their issues to resolve, u don't, and u have nothing to do with their issues. So why is it u they pick on? Many reasons - it could be anything. And there's nothing wrong with knowing why, but knowing what to do at the time will help your situation.

Bullies are like sharks in a pool of water. If you decide to swim right up to them they will tear you apart, cos that's what they do. They've gotten away with it and believe it's their right in terms of protecting themselves. Many bullies have confessed to me that they need to get others before they get them, as if they believe some battle is about to begin, so the bully decides to get them first. The funny thing is most of the time there really was no potential battle - all in their head!

Every tough situation is a test to help get you in touch with your true self and needs. I think that bullying is becoming an epidemic that is shifting the world into higher levels of humanity combined with feminism. And those pluto qualities such as deep security in all spheres play a big role in underlying issues.

Anyway, thanks for the dialogue guys.
 
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mermaidinthedark

Active member
Hello! Throughout my life I was also bullied ( esp verbally) and I'd like to know if these aspects are to blame : I have pluto(10th) square saturn (1st),neptune conjunct the ascendant, mars(3rd ) square moon(1st) and I don't know if mars square asc is a bullied or he bullies ( mars is in aries and I tend to flare up very fast,but quick to cool off. If nobody interferes with me I am very entertaining and on the go. also mars square uranus, mars square neptune) but I don't know why people will act like this towards me..if not bully,. then tease, mock, ridicule, ironic, etc)

11th house is empty and on sagg cusp. so is my 12 th house . so if it is ruled by jupiter I only have 2 aspects : sun square jupiter, mars bi-quintinle jupiter. and 7th house( also of enemities) has no planet but only chiron in leo, the vertex, and the ruler of my 7th house is the moon. I don't know if jupiter in my 8th house in virgo has any relevance
 
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GypsyBee

New member
Bullying can also be triggered by a powerful Scorpio sign and/or house (8) occpancy. If Pluto (=power, control, manilpulation) is either placed in the outer world houses like 10 or 11 or even 1 (your own house), and negatively aspected (through Mars or Saturn esp), then such tendencies exist, and if there's a Jupiter also involved then tendencies are enhanced.
Pluto = power, control, manilpulation; the house it is in itself and/or the houses of the planets it adversely effects, is where we tendentially exercise Pluto's 'qualities'.

I actually have a heavy 8th house with Scorpio at the helm. Moon Merc Mars and Venus there. Venus in mutual to Pluto in Libra in 7th and no negative aspects to Pluto as far as those planets are concerned. I have always been the one to step in and defend someone being bullied. Ive even jumped in front of a gun because of someone taking bullying to the next level. So for me Id have to say that something along the lines of what u said I suppose could have some truth being as I abhor bullying. My one negative aspect to Mars actually wound up with me being the victim of a vicious attack by an ex while i slept in my bed. He was jealous of my having dinner with my aunt and uncle and showing up 15 min. Later than what i said i would because i was pulled over for speeding. I bled out and had to be resuscitated at the hospital. Crazy because i knew years prior from dighing in my chart that life or death would come in my mid 30's and this happened 0n Dec 21st...just 2 weeks after my 35th birthday.
 

aquarius7000

Well-known member
Thanks for the feedback, GypsyBee. One thing to note is that the complete chart should always be taken into consideration. If for those that have hard (negative) aspects to the likes of Pluto/ Mars, these could be balanced by a gentle Venus (dignified or exalted) and especially if in a pleasant aspect to the Sun or Moon. Nothing is set in stone.
I actually have a heavy 8th house with Scorpio at the helm. Moon Merc Mars and Venus there. Venus in mutual to Pluto in Libra in 7th and no negative aspects to Pluto as far as those planets are concerned. I have always been the one to step in and defend someone being bullied. Ive even jumped in front of a gun because of someone taking bullying to the next level. So for me Id have to say that something along the lines of what u said I suppose could have some truth being as I abhor bullying. My one negative aspect to Mars actually wound up with me being the victim of a vicious attack by an ex while i slept in my bed. He was jealous of my having dinner with my aunt and uncle and showing up 15 min. Later than what i said i would because i was pulled over for speeding. I bled out and had to be resuscitated at the hospital. Crazy because i knew years prior from dighing in my chart that life or death would come in my mid 30's and this happened 0n Dec 21st...just 2 weeks after my 35th birthday.
 

Ekonomist13

Well-known member
Just one note for future research on this topic:

Please do not bother with making distinctions about if a person is being bullied or is a bully.

It has been scientifically proven that bullied people tend to bully other people afterwards, which creates a chain of bullying.

I've once read the original research stating that, but here are some links as a proof:

https://news.siu.edu/2018/09/090518-research-shows-bullies-often-victims-of-bullying.php

https://www.parentingscience.com/bully-victims.html
 

Abby83

Well-known member
Just one note for future research on this topic:

Please do not bother with making distinctions about if a person is being bullied or is a bully.

It has been scientifically proven that bullied people tend to bully other people afterwards, which creates a chain of bullying.

I've once read the original research stating that, but here are some links as a proof:

https://news.siu.edu/2018/09/090518-research-shows-bullies-often-victims-of-bullying.php

https://www.parentingscience.com/bully-victims.html

Not all ppl will turn into bullies if they've been bullied. I for sure have been bullied many times and ive transformed myself in learning how to deal with it in a positive way. I do not bully.

I also want to add to my advice earlier. I mentioned something about reflective listening. This isnt always effective. and in most cases just a simple 'ok' to acknowledge the abuser's words is enough. You do not defend nor do you fight. You become neutral. Keep it as unpersonal as posibble, stay away from the abuser and stay positive with other ppl.
 

aquarius7000

Well-known member
Funny thing, I have met people that were bullied in life and are extra careful about their behaviour towards others.

Cannot agree with the below .

Just one note for future research on this topic:

Please do not bother with making distinctions about if a person is being bullied or is a bully.

It has been scientifically proven that bullied people tend to bully other people afterwards, which creates a chain of bullying.

I've once read the original research stating that, but here are some links as a proof:

https://news.siu.edu/2018/09/090518-research-shows-bullies-often-victims-of-bullying.php

https://www.parentingscience.com/bully-victims.html
 

david starling

Well-known member
Trump was bullied by his father,which appears to prove Eko's point.

But, not everyone who was bullied becomes a bully. Just the reverse, if they're of high enough character--then, they defend others from being the victims of bullying, or at the very least, avoid becoming bullies themselves.
 
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Opal

Premium Member
Well, as Mahatma Gandhi said "An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind": in other words, of course not all people who were bullied become bullies, otherwise whole world would be bullies.

Btw, looking at your responses to my answers, I do not find you qualified to talk about this topic, because I see you as a bully.

You don't give arguments except based on your own experience, and you deny scientific research and you deny even the possibility of other options to test.

Basically, people like you are the reason why astrology is so hated in the eyes of scientists.

Nobody is perfect.

I presume you are aware that Gandhi, bullied his wife, hit her. Then he he changed. And became the man that I admire.

If you tell me you have never bullied anyone, I would have to question the validity of anything you say.
 

Ekonomist13

Well-known member
Nobody is perfect.

I presume you are aware that Gandhi, bullied his wife, hit her. Then he he changed. And became the man that I admire.

If you tell me you have never bullied anyone, I would have to question the validity of anything you say.

Of course not, I consider myself objective and scientific minded, so I admit I have bullied, and I've been bullied.

And then I've learned that it's gonna keep going on until I confront my bully - that way, bully stopped bullying me and I've stopped feeling the need to bully someone else.

"Please do not bother with making distinctions about if a person is being bullied or is a bully."

In what context?

In the context of astrology. If a chart indicates a person beeing bullied, then it's gonna reflect on the fact that that person is gonna bully someone else in return - or kill himself during a live session so the whole world can see it (this has happened multiple times, I think we all remember that(.

In the other hand, if a chart signifies a bully (even though I can't possibly envision how exactly), that person has most probably been bullied beforehand, anyway.

If a child grows in harmonious, loving family conditions, chances are it won't be a bully or bullied a lot. And that's not my opinion, that is psychology, and unlike astrology it's been accepted as scientific.

As I've learned someplace else, to make astrology scientific, one has to prove that there are phenomenom which can't be fully explained by any other science but astrology.

With this in mind, I believe it's best to leave bullies and bullied to psychological inquiries, and focus more on other things.
 

david starling

Well-known member
Eko (I hope this nickname is okay with you, if not please let me know),

Mars is the most obvious suspect when it comes to bullying. I feel fortunate to have Mars in Pisces, since it seems to lessen my aggressive tendencies.

So, my question is, have you noticed any correlations regarding the placement, Aspects, etc. of Mars in the Natal-chart with bullying? I've been reasonably successful in fending off and/or avoiding being bullied, and in avoiding employing bullying tactics myself.

Incidentally, it's not just Mars in Pisces that helps me with bullying, but I feel it is one of the major factors.
 
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Opal

Premium Member
Of course not, I consider myself objective and scientific minded, so I admit I have bullied, and I've been bullied.

And then I've learned that it's gonna keep going on until I confront my bully - that way, bully stopped bullying me and I've stopped feeling the need to bully someone else.



In the context of astrology. If a chart indicates a person beeing bullied, then it's gonna reflect on the fact that that person is gonna bully someone else in return - or kill himself during a live session so the whole world can see it (this has happened multiple times, I think we all remember that(.

In the other hand, if a chart signifies a bully (even though I can't possibly envision how exactly), that person has most probably been bullied beforehand, anyway.

If a child grows in harmonious, loving family conditions, chances are it won't be a bully or bullied a lot. And that's not my opinion, that is psychology, and unlike astrology it's been accepted as scientific.

As I've learned someplace else, to make astrology scientific, one has to prove that there are phenomenom which can't be fully explained by any other science but astrology.

With this in mind, I believe it's best to leave bullies and bullied to psychological inquiries, and focus more on other things.

Mars and Pluto, would be my picks for both bullying and being bullied. Usually frustrations psychologically create a bully. And insecurities create the bullied.

The bully picks someone that they feel they can dominate.

Astrologically, I would think the bully and the bullied would have aspects showing either squares and oppositions to each others synastry chart and in their composite charts to each other. For that you would need the natal of both parties.
 
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