Shiny,
I just wanted to reply to your post.
I have been influenced all my life, in a society that allows me the freedom to do things that have only brought me pain. I have hidden from that pain, with intoxicants and cheap thrills, but it has never felt right for me. Its really silly of me to be a single mum, and to have got into the position that I have got myself into. I could just live with that all my life. But after reading the Quran, I have realized that I can submit to not knowing what I have been doing, and admit that I need guidance and knowledge of living in my life. I guess its a big thing to admit that you dont know what you are doing, and i guess thats was the hardest thing.....giving yourself to something other than yourself, seems to be a weak way of living in our society, but you know, I am finding it to be more empowering. Learning to be humble, is going to be a hard thing after living at the other extreme of arrogance and ego. But ith each prayer and in keeping conscious of the things i am doing in life....(the halaal and the haraam)....I am not feeling that what i am doing is weak at all. And it is taking more strength and courage than anything else I have ever done in my life. And You know, already i feel better. Every mundane chore i do around the house, feels great.....i go into the garden and sun, and i feel more connected....Its so astonishing that I have changed so dramatically in such a short amount of time... with this change making itself apparent to me in feeling in my daily life, makes it easy to not doubt that it is the truth for me.....
(its strange!)
I know alot of you all are concerned about people getting involved in religions, in general (not just me), and i have to say, i have been the same aswell. All i can say though, is that if you are wondering about it, then do go and have a look at the Quran. Thats what I did, and by golly!!!! I never looked at the Quran to embrace the religion, I first of all wanted to find where they said that you can beat your woman, and that men are the best and woman are rubbish, as I had been lead to believe and had been shown in the past..... and you know, it isnt there. There is one line in surah 4 , that can scare a woman, reading the Quran for the first time, but the Quran isnt one line, its a whole Book. And on continuing to delve into its pages, moree and more truth has come to me, and the significance of that one line has been given its proper place.....it is not something to be feared, and a true muslim knows that......The Quran is not a hateful book. There are many who call themselves muslims, who have made up there own rules.....I am not listening to them. this religion for me, is about each individuals connection with Allah...
anyway, im going to go again......i could rant about this all day, as it is pretty big in my life now, but i will spare you all
!
Shiny, I hope that helps your worry somewhat....i know your hearts good, so i take heed and listen when you say your worried, but its good, cos your doubts have confirmed my faith to me a bit more......
I really wish you all happiness and fulfillment in your lives. Inshallah (God willing)
thanks for your time and discussions folks
Salam
kylie