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Unread 04-06-2017, 10:28 AM
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craft94 craft94 is offline
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Join Date: May 2015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sylph View Post
And I should note that I don't consider myself exempt from this stuff either, what with Neptune square Venus in Libra in the 1st. In the past it was quite tempting to try and be whatever I thought certain people wanted me to be, because I thought this would cause them to unconditionally love me. That's not exactly "having integrity." Most of the time, there were other parts of my nature that stopped me from full-on turning into whatever I thought X person wanted me to be, but I've caused myself some real pain with this attitude/belief.

Libra all too often feels pulled in opposite directions here. It wants to be pleasing and lovable (which is usually achieved through various actions); yet because it is a cardinal sign and has some similarity with its opposite sign Aries, on some level it wants to forget about the "conditions" that the external world might place on us and simply express the self/identity/ego. This aspect of us DOESN'T feel the need to be pleasing and lovable to anyone -- its only desire is to exist and display itself in its true form. Mars doesn't really care what anyone thinks about it; what it wants is just to act on its impulses. What Venus wants is to please and be pleased... thus it tries to figure out what exactly is pleasing to the beloved so that such pleasure can be received in return.

And I'm really not talking about just the base sensual and sexual things. Even when Venus is inexperienced and virginal, it is her desire to please, to be acceptable and loved. And we are basically conditioned to believe that we must DO certain things in order to make that happen.

I don't know if any of this is part of your problem though lol I just wanted to make it clear that I understand at least one of Libra's plights..
Hm, interesting. My response:

1. Venus and Libra aren't interchangeable synonyms, though in your case, Venus is in Libra so I get it.

2. As a Libra, I recognize the fact that other people actually exist. You say Aries just wants to do what it wants; Libra knows that sometimes you need to keep these drives in check in order to function in the social world. But with me, can't speak for all Libras, I recognize that other people have a soul - feelings, thoughts etc. - just like I do. The same spark that exists in me exists in them and I would never want to hurt others or overpower them or do any harm. I also believe in past lives and stuff so I don't believe I was always the current ego that I am now and I have a hard time fully identifying with it. I took a lot in from church - treat people how you want to be treated. That isn't necessarily the same thing as wanting to be liked.

3. However, I do want to be liked. I think to some degree this is normal. If I apply for a job, for instance, I want to my boss to like me. Is there anything wrong with that? What I don't do is fake it to be liked. I'm actually the opposite of that. To me, there's nothing FAIR about being liked for who you are not, it's similar to being rewarded for something you don't deserve. Plus, in just my own opinion, it'll have you ending up with the wrong people. I think in your case, though, Neptune (planet of illusion) probably makes those particular Venusian qualities even worse; wanting to be everything to everyone and losing sight of who you are.

4. I don't act fake or put on these grand acts to get people to think I'm what they want me to be, but wanting to be liked is definitely a problem for me sometimes, or even just not wanting to upset others. Anxiety for one, and low self-confidence. When people criticize me for one, I start to wonder if it's true and beat myself up, even when I know it's not, but sometimes I can be naive and think "why would anyone deliberately be mean? I never deliberately act mean. They must really be upset with something I did" even when they were deliberately being mean. I don't care what everyone thinks of me but when I like someone, I get all worried and I don't act "fake" but I don't act like myself either, I act quiet and self conscious and that's what causes them not to like me, not aggressiveness. I lack fire and have a problem taking initiative and going after what I want. I let other people put doubts into my head when I should be trusting my intuition. This is why I *can't* listen to what Sibylline when she tells me to look at myself, as if I don't already blame myself enough for things I really shouldn't. What I really need is self-esteem. And no, there is a middle ground between aggressveness and submissiveness but 1. Well I'd rather a man who wants the first extreme than the other extreme and 2. If you think I'M aggressive, then YES you DO want someone who's submissive because I'm NOT aggressive at ALL and if you met me in real life, you'd know that. I'm emotional, SENSITIVE, not aggressive.

Last edited by craft94; 04-06-2017 at 10:56 AM.
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