She needs to just accept her body for what it is. She is a curvy woman and will never be stick thin. She has very large breasts and a curvy figure. There has to come a day when you realize you will never be a size 4 if you are not built to be that small! You can't even have a normal meal with her because she's always on some weird diet. So then she refuses to eat and just drinks and ends up being a hot mess. I don't see why she doesn't see what everyone else does. It's frustrating and I really want to help her because she is a very intelligent and extremely compassionate person.
I dont think that her body is the key issue here. She has an abnormal relationship with food and she has an abnormal relationship with herself. What I mean is, that she lacks self-esteem and is engaging in behaviours that help her to avoid looking in and fixing that.
Food is immeasurably important as a fuel. If she keeps yo-yo dieting, gaining and losing, via unhealthy methods and at relatively fast paces, she will give herself thyroid problems and will find it impossible to lose any weight after that. She needs to find a healthy diet that is easiest for her to upkeep and stick to. It may be simple calorie counting, so that if she eats more one day, she can cut back the next day and continue as normal instead of falling back into this eating disorder (which it is).
Unhealthy relationships are another way of indulgent self-sabotage that is only damaging. If she is unhealthy in herself, her mind, even if she finds a super good guy, she will have nothing to offer long term him because she is unable to love herself in a healthy way.
Vis-a-vis the pills, they could be even contributing to this problem of not facing up to reality. That is kind of the point of anti-depressants. But coming off them, espcially if done too quickly, could make her feel worse unless she has in place a psychologist to work with who will ensure that she faces up to her insecurities increasingly and safely as her abilities progress.
In terms of what you can do to help her. It sounds as though there is nothing that you can do because her problems are just that deep and are not of the sort that are fixed by advice and definately not by criticism. She has to want to change (from the inside). When that happens, she has to do a lot of research and find a really good therapist.
Personally, I think she sounds as though she has Borderline Personality
tendencies, which include problems with self, instability, and engaging in these reckless behaviours impulsively. The only therapy that has proven really effective for these symptoms is not drugs but Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, which works on understanding and curbing these impulsive behaviours. However, she may benefit initially from psychodynamic psychotherapy just to purge from her subconscious all of the ways in which her family and perhaps relationships have damaged her. Often we repress what is most hurtful for us to live through, but when things are supressed they come out in uglier ways. It is most recommended that she tries to purge the past and get it over and done with.
She does not like herself. If it was my friend, I would write a sensitive letter explaining how precious and talented she is, and that I am watching her abuse her body and there is a reason. I would gently encourage that she looks into tackling this repeated occurence in order to live up to her full and amazing potential. Recommend the therapy, offer to go with.
She is obv. willing to try therapy if she is willing to pop pills. Only the pills are not the correct type of therapy for her and I doubt they mix well with alcohol. Good luck to you in helping your friend, gently, because recovering will certainly take her years and only if she is willing.