Here is the composite chart between you and your husband. Basically, it confirms what we have all been writing about.
Sun conjunct Nessus is squaring Pluto, showing the power issues going on in the relationship.
Nessus represents someone taking what they want from another person with no thought or feeling for the other person's welfare. It basically symbolises abuse.
The composite sun in 9th points to religious views, foreign matters, philosophy. (shades here maybe of my comments about cultural clashes?).
Composite Pluto on the cusp of the 12th house shows struggles over power and control in a subconscious way, one person makes all of the sacrifices and the other person takes everything selfishly.
With the sun square Pluto, the struggle over power and control is a constant theme, there is a lot of strife and games, each of you tries to manipulate the other, and ends up bringing out the darkest side of each other.
Both of these planets are in easy aspect with Uranus: Sun in a wide trine and Pluto in a semi-sextile, which would indicate that allowing each other freedom and independence can ease the situation.
Pluto is also sextile the moon/neptune conjunction in the ascendent, so the Pluto energy can handle the emotional roots of the relationship without being too overwhelming. Pluto also trines composite mars so you two do focus on common goals, but sometimes it's just too much energy and you take it personally, letting it out verbally.
These Pluto configurations recall your natal sun/Pluto that is playing out here.
Moon in the ascendent of the composite shows how important emotions are in this relationship, you both rely on instinct rather than logic, and with Neptune conjunct moon this is even more so the case. The Neptune conjunction gives a very spiritual tie, and a soul connection that binds you together, and subconsciously you really understand each other. The problem here is that you also tend to use only this type of interaction between you, making it very personal and subjective.
The moon/Neptune conjunction opposes mars, in the composite 7th, firing up that emotional energy, leading to constant arguments and conflicts in the relationship, with resulting bruised feelings.
Mars being in the 7th actually helps to strengthen the marriage tie, and you do put a lot of energy into the relationship.
With Neptune opposing mars, the relationship can actually be draining on one or both of you, like it’s sucking the life out of you at times, it's the martyr aspect, and one of you tends to sacrifice yourself, while the other takes advantage. You each need to maintain your own identity here.
I also entered the asteroid Pholus in the chart, and it is exactly opposite Saturn, who rules the 2nd in the composite chart. The 2nd house represents not only wealth (here is your battleground!) but also self worth. Pholus represents the small cause yielding a large effect; “taking the lid off” a situation with explosive results; and a catalyst or reagent spurring change or transformation. Symbolically it is also "shooting yourself in your own foot"!
So you both have a lot to learn in this marriage, you are literally digging into yourselves, emotionally, and facing up to how you view yourself, how you value yourself, what is your spiritual worth. Saturn also rules the 4th, so this also takes place in the domestic arena, and with Pholus in the 5th, this energy also involves the children of the marriage.
There is a whole world contained in a chart, with many layers and considerations, and we can go on and on examining it, but these few comments will hopefully help you form a concrete view of your marriage.
One last word. A marriage is a karmic tie. It is different from living together. It is a commitment made between two persons that has a spiritual significance.
That is the reason why only the two persons involved can evaluate, repair, maintain or dissolve the tie. We who are looking in the window from the outside, through the chart and through your comments, are not in a position to really know what point you are each at in terms of your inner spiritual development and karma. We can only point out to you what mechanisms are being played out, with the hope that you can understand them more clearly, and then decide for yourself what action, if any, to take.
Yours is a complex relationship with karmic overtones, weigh things carefully, meditate while you are in the spa, you have the strength within you to find the right path.