That screaming is you working subconsciously on the energy between these two directions in life, the past and your future, resisting the future for the comfort of the known past. "Whether or not you consciously work on the lessons, events in our lives are likely to force us to confront them." That is what is front and center for you right now. And you don't learn it all at once. When you understand your path and catch yourself reacting in old ways, you'll make a conscious decision to choose differently.
I have SN in Virgo and NN in Pieces. I use to strive for perfection in myself and others. I learned to be more understanding, compassionate and patient.
Moondance
I did some further reading on the NN in the 12th and I am feeling a bit more confused. Sometimes I feel like I should be pushing forward and working hard to achieve the things I want and need, but it doesn't work anymore. However, just sitting back and going with the flow doesn't seem to work well either, which is what I read is mostly what I am supposed to be doing. Of course there are other things at play, but it feels like I am being held in some type of holding place for some unknown reason. It's as if I am cut-off. I have no problem being a lone wolf and independent, but at the same time I feel like I should be out there doing things. It's so weird. Also, I hope this does not indicate a life of problematic relationships or where I give and give and get used up. It's not worth it !