You don't know what's going on for him. You're not him. If he hasn't talked to you, he can't possibly have told you that you upset him, so how do you know what he's thinking?
You told him the truth: you don't connect emotionally with people and you only want to be friends with benefits. Your first of those two horary charts paints that picture, in fact: Saturn, the solitary planet that needs its space, contentedly in its own sign, solitary in the twelfth (house of Saturn's joy). No aspects, either: you're not connected with anyone in that way.
If that's where you're at, emotionally, then you're not ready for a committed relationship. A committed relationship doesn't just mean you don't date other people. It also means you're emotionally committed to your partner. That requires emotional connection, not sex as a defense mechanism.
He may have said okay, let's be friends with benefits, but if he hasn't taken you up on those benefits, it doesn't sound like that's important to him. Typically, when someone asks a friend who they have feelings for out, they're not asking for sex, they're asking for a chance to connect emotionally. Sex may come into the picture, but as a result of making a stronger emotional connection, not in place of.
You didn't ruin this, because there was really nothing to ruin. You were never ready to give him what he wants in the first place, and he isn't someone who can give you what you want, if what you want is sex without emotional connection. If you want to shift your patterns and have an emotionally connected sexual relationship, dating someone who needs and wants an emotional connection before sex isn't the place to start. That's not fair to the other person. You can only, fairly, date people whose emotional and sexual needs match yours.