the worst synastry aspects ?

Vagabondgirl

Well-known member
There are alot of nasty aspects between me and my room mate/best friend/class-mate (also a girl). But I think the relationship is productive even though there are ups and downs and intense emotional blow ups at times:p

Her SUN/MOON in Aquarius SQUARE my SATURN in Scorpio (wide orb 6-7 degrees)

Her Jupiter in Taurus oppose my Saturn in scorpio.

My Jupiter Square her Mars

My Moon Square her Uranus, Her Uranus conjunct my Neptune.

My Mercury/Pluto conjunction in scorpio square her Venus in aquarius.

Crazy times:D
 

Vagabondgirl

Well-known member
I was just looking at the synastri chart of one of my closest friends. (A girl). We are good friends, but we don't seem to get close, and something is always in the way of our friendship to depend.
We are born just a couple of months a part, so I noticed that alot of aspects in our natal charts also appear in the synastry. I have never thought about this before.

For instance. I have venus square saturn nataly, but because we are born so close, my Venus sqaure her natal saturn too...
Would this indicate that some of the problems we meet in ourself also comes up litteraly in the relationship?

Maybe youre so "used to" this aspect, that you can tolerate it better with other people too?

Or how has this natal placement affected you in your life? I think Squares/Oppositions can be used productively in certain people. If you can learn to change it into positive energy instead of a negative one. Cause Im sure there is alot of energy in a Square:)
 

Veronica

Well-known member
I have mixed reviews on the Venus-Saturn aspects, specially the conjuction athough it can make things very difficult regarding affection exchange, if a couple manages to stay together and be in a committed relationship that aspect itself will the give the relationship lots of endurance. But it won't be a very affectionate relationship, but I don't think its a horrible thing either.
 

Vagabondgirl

Well-known member
I also have natally Saturn-Venus/(and moon) connections, but its sextile. I grew up with my dad, and he was very strict when I was younger. But it was because he loves me, I see that now. Ofcourse I didnt when I was a child, then it was just irritating! Hard love in other words?
 

Veronica

Well-known member
What about...

Venus trine Neptune
Mercury square Neptune
Neptune trine Moon(less than 4 degrees)

Venus opposition Neptune(less than 4 degrees)
Mercury trine Neptune

I checked for more than 4 degrees because I thought there was more Neptune influence than just those two. Other aspects involved, but this is what I've been trying to figure out. I think Neptune aspects could be some of the worst, because of the confusion.

a venus-neptune opposition can be chaotic because if that aspect is very strong in the synastry, you feel @ some point.. " This person is the one" and also you are confused, if Neptune is very prominent almost all the planets are aspected, you will feel like you are on the clouds. You will feel like the person is the one, Neptune can bring very intense illusions, what you feel is like a dream can actually be a nightmare, what you feel is a blessing can actually be a curse. A wake up call after everything has run its course from Neptune can be very Bittersweet. Its like a fantasy vs. reality sort of thing.
 

starsgalore

Well-known member
Actually, venus/neptune transits largely depend on the aspects themselves. If the aspects are soft, then there are good intentions and because we all have faults, our faults are more easily overlooked; however, if the aspects are hard aspects, then there will definitely be disappointment, deceit, and/or dishonesty intertwined in the relationship; albeit we won't see these things right away, and when we do, they cause a lot of disappointment.
 

rosedl

Member
someone mentioned sun square mars...

but what if you have sun square mars and then your mars are both trined..

would it soften the effect...

it seems that trines or conjunctions would definitely change a tension dynamic, if they occur between the same planets

so many different influences and i think we tend to forget in all this analysis that a lot of these chart influences are weaker/secondary to the primary sun/moon/ascendent relationships...
 

starsgalore

Well-known member
Sorry Rosedl, every aspect has its place in the lives of natal charts, synastry charts, progression, etc. For example, I once dated a guy where his saturn trined my venus and my venus opposed his saturn. They did NOT cancel each other out. There were times when everything felt right about us being together, and I felt safe with him. Yet at other times I would point out things that he did that he needed to change and be more mature about, and he hated those corrections. Saturn will try to impress upon a person to grow up and do better or at least rain on their parade in some way with criticism when in hard aspect to personal planets just as it will make the two people feel protective toward one another and safe with each other when in good aspect.

This has not only been true in this particular case, but in all cases aspects don't cancel each other out. However, some of the easier aspects make dealing with the not-so-pleasant parts of the relationship more tolerable. Still further, there are a few aspects that can torture an otherwise good relationship and cause it to self-destruct even in the midst of a sea of pleasant aspects. I have seen that happen over and over again too.
 
The Saturn person can....put their responsibilities ahead of your relationship; leave you feeling like you're the least important item on their long list of priorities

My Saturn is closely square my boyfriend's (who I thought was my fiance!) sun and he has said this about me, but I feel that he has no right to complain about that because he could easily be helping me with all these responsibilities and making things easier for me, but has chosen to stand by and watch while I struggle, therefore that is the price he pays. It isn't that I want it that way. I am not in a position to change that, but he is.

I came on this thread because I just found out that he has cheated on me and has been lying to me, and it seems obvious that I should just cut everything off dead between us immediately, but it is SO unbelievably hard and painful to do that!!

I am here looking to convince myself to break up with him although I can hardly bear the thought of doing that. I have known we have these "bad" aspects for a long time. We've been together seven years.

Our moons supposedly trine each other. Our Venuses supposedly trine each other. His venus is sextile my moon.

My Mars, Mercury, Jupiter and Chiron all trine his sun, so it isn't just my saturn on his sun. My Neptune is conjunct his sun and exactly conjunct his Mercury. Is this why he has lied and is there any possibility that he could ever be trusted? His north node is also conjunct my Neptune.

His moon is conjunct my Mars and Jupiter and my moon is conjunct his Mars and Jupiter.

His Saturn is sextile my Saturn and trine my venus, but it is also square my mars.

Saturn square sun (his) and saturn square mars (mine) are supposed to be the worst aspects, so why can't I just break up with him already?
 

Vista

Well-known member
Are you sure?

I think Saturn conjunct the ASC is more likely to do this or just be plain rejecting of the person's appearance. The problem is that you might get involved with the person because Saturn contacts will bind people together and in this case as time goes on the Saturn person will start picking the ASC person's appearance apart.
 

Vista

Well-known member
In my experience difficult aspects to Mars are some of the worst. Ascendant square Mars in a comparison chart creates power struggles. Mars conjunct Saturn is pretty bad for intimate relationships. And Mercury square Pluto can lead to verbal abuse.

Oh, and having composite Moon in the 6th house is terrible! I felt completely subordinated by the person.

I would have to agree although I can tell my friend and her husband have the worst relationship on the planet. They argue constantly, he's lied to her, has a drinking problem, and basically I really don't know what holds them together but for Saturn I guess and her not wanting to go back to work. She is a very fixed Scorpio/Leo. They have Mercury conjunct Pluto both ways, his Saturn square and opposes her ASC/Sun/Moon, and his Neptune conjuncts her ASC and squares her Mars Sun conjunction. She thought he was her Knight in Shining armor, but she ended up being delusional and deluded. She has Moon conjunct Neptune in her Scorpio 1st house so she doesn't always see herself or others as they really are. Of course she is no easy person either in terms of being temperamental, controlling, anal, and argumentative. She is extremely loyal though, which in this case is very toxic and to her detriment.
 

Kenoshamaensa

Well-known member
Wow, I haven't been here in a while. :surprised:

Anyway, I just wanted to say that while Saturn can be a devil, I find the hard Neptune aspects much WORSE in a chart, and hard Uranus or Pluto ... essentially watch those big outer planets when they form hard aspects to your personal planets in composite!

Pluto = power struggles
Uranus = instability
Neptune = deception

But Neptune is the one I really look for precisely because it's deceptive. Neptune squaring or opposing natal planets in a composite chart ... run like h*ll. Ha. I speak from experience. Conjunction can be a problem, but it depends. Neptune is the great deceiver. Everything can seem MAGICAL at first ... you've met your soul mate at last! And both people are inclined to participate in the deception, which isn't necessarily deliberate (although it can be). Sometimes one just projects onto the other what that one wants/needs to see. So while yes, a hard Neptune square might mean intentional deception from the outset, not necessarily. Sometimes it can just mean delusions that may (perhaps will) eventually turn into real-world deceptions of things hidden, affairs, etc.

Saturn hard aspects, especially squares, can be worked with. Oppositions seem more (to me, IME) to be external factors keeping people apart. Squares are felt more internally, but as a result, they can lend great STRENGTH to a relationship if met head on AND there are strong positives in the chart otherwise. They usually represent a perceived limitation and or a critical approach. Without positive factors, that gets old FAST, and we often (again, IME) see or feel hard Saturn aspects relatively early-on, so we know they're there (unlike the hard Neptune). We can decide whether we want to live with them, or if there are enough goods to outweigh them. For instance, my mother used to tell me, when she'd give me frank critique, "I love you, so I'll always tell you when you have bad breath. You can count on it." As she also always told me the good stuff and supported me, I learned to trust that the critique sprang from love and concern, not dislike or a need to belittle people.

With hard Saturn aspects, that's what we have to decide. Can we live with those limitations. Saturn is the teacher. Always. (Says the professor with Saturn on her ascendant, ha.) For some, Saturn can feel as if it cramps one's style. Saturn is the one who says, "No, you can't have a career as a singer because you're tone deaf." :tongue: But WHY Saturn says that matters. Maybe Saturn is just being mean. Telling the truth, but doing it to be mean. But maybe Saturn winces inside at the thought of someone Saturn loves getting up and making a fool of him/herself because Saturn doesn't want that person to be hurt.

So that's the puzzle one has to decide ... how does Saturn MEAN the critique/limitations, and can we live with it. In our natal charts, we have to learn to. But in composite (and synastry) charts, if we're not related to that person and required to stick around (*grin*), we can walk away.

But we'll usually KNOW it, going in. And Saturn will stick around, too, through thick and thin.

Neptune leads you down the primrose path straight to hell. :ninja:

(Btw, my ex-husband and I had BOTH Saturn square Venus AND Neptune square Venus. The latter was far worse than the former. We also had some very good aspects, but not enough to make the marriage survive the double-whammy. Still, I'd go into another relationship with a Saturn/Venus hard aspect. I'll never again trust a Venus/Neptune, Moon/Neptune, Sun/Neptune, etc., hard aspect. Flee, flee, flee....)
 
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Claire19

Well-known member
can anyone tell me what would be the very worst synastry aspects to have when reviewing the charts of two people. I was thinking sun square mars I heard that that aspects could mean violent arguments.
I feel that any negative Neptune and Pluto aspects are the real heavies.
Sun square Mars can mean arguments and violence but it would depend on the signs involved and the other aspects. It can give energy and
stimulation if handled correctly. Uranus for disruptive and unstable relations. Saturn can mean restriction and coolness. We need to look at the whole charts as always.
 

MaeMae

Banned
Mars-Saturn aspects are tough. Mars is always wanting to initiate and Saturn is always wanting to hold Mars back or limit it somehow. Sexually, it's a wet blanket.
 

mboy

Member
I am kinda very obsessed with smo whose Pluto conjunct Venus are Opposite my Venus and Quincunx my Sun

Should I try to run away...I tried actually... unsuccessfully
 

Lost_spirit

Well-known member
Mars-Saturn aspects are tough. Mars is always wanting to initiate and Saturn is always wanting to hold Mars back or limit it somehow. Sexually, it's a wet blanket.
I have this aspect with my boyfriend.His Saturn is exactly conjunct my Mars,and by 3 degrees conjunct my Venus and Ascendant.We are stuck together like a glue or something and this aspect is what made this relationship last so much.Even when I see problems in this relationship or when it becomes dull, I'll never think of leaving him,I'll stay and try to fix them,or endure them,unless it's something really serious,like infidelity or serious lies.He propably sees it this way too.Sex is great,but not so often.I think the Mars person feels obligated to the Saturn person somehow.Pluto is totally absent from our synastry,we don't have any power struggles,we are both free spirits and have fun with each other.
I've had a relationship in the past where there were Neptune trines to my venus and his moon and also pluto squares involving my moon and his venus and moon.Our moons were in square.This relationship felt like a dream and the feelings were very strong but it was too emotionally difficult to handle,it drove us both mad and we both needed to "control" somehow one another.I don't like people controlling me so I left,no matter how much I wanted to stay.
 

Pan

Well-known member
I think Saturn conjunct the ASC is more likely to do this or just be plain rejecting of the person's appearance. The problem is that you might get involved with the person because Saturn contacts will bind people together and in this case as time goes on the Saturn person will start picking the ASC person's appearance apart.
What about Saturn conjunct IC in synastry? Is there something relate with childhood issue or karmic bond from the previous life? and how it plays in relationship?
 

Pan

Well-known member
One of the most painful aspect I experience is Neptune square Venus, Let's say in the theme of romantic love as Venus being;

If a guy is Neptune and a woman is Venus. Venus will feel beautiful by the romantic idealise of Neptune. He would be act as a romantic type, maybe he is really be or never been before, but she will arouses him to be like that, he would act out of his character and overwhelm by pushing the romantic feeling to her and the way she presents to him. Venus will never see the truth about his character. The beginning is beautiful as a romantic dream, but it would be worse as a nightmare when you awake and realise whatever you felt and thought isn't the way he is. You love your own idealist, he's not a romantic type or maybe he is, but it's not enough and not the way you want or picture on it at frist, and you can't have what you want for real. You would feel as you are killed by your lovely prince in the dream and painful...it's sound like a fairy tale.
 
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petal

Well-known member
The worset obvious aspect I have with someone is his mars square my sun and mercury - we can *really* get eachothers back up and the most trivial matters can turn into all out war!

However, I find his moon opposite my pluto, is probably the most sinister aspect with regards to manipulation and game playing etc
 

juicey J.

Banned
One aspect isn't necessarily going to cause trouble unless there is no competing "better" aspects. Some bad aspects would be any of the luminaries square the mars or saturn of another's chart or the angles square a malefic in another person's chart, oppositions can be thrown in to such mix. Pluto squares and oppositions can be quite intense. mercury square the others mars can lead to intense intellectual disagreements. Also, aspects from a benefic to said offending malefic can counter things, trines more so then sextiles and jupiter more so then Venus. Also, we have to look at the fact trines to a son of a b@tches chart are a bad thing because they can blind the other person to what an sob said person really is.
 
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