Saturn opposition Venus transit + one in natal. How long already?

How long will this hell take? And can I do something to lessen this opposition present in my natal chart?

I guess paying for "love" is my only chance in life. I feel avoided by everyone, even my friends. When I reach out it's useless, as people talk all over me for example, yet I need to reach out due to being too reserved/cold. How can I stop being cold and start showing emotions when I get brushed off?

Use this period of Saturn Return to change for the better.
I am not pertaining to change of your location, but to shed off all the unnecessary behaviours or bad habits from the past. You have a Virgo South Node in 1H -- you're so independent and stubborn and always "I, alone" -- you neglect the essence of partnership; being Virgo doesn't help because it makes you hyper-critical of yourself too. Having said that, if you strip away all these be the opposite of your South Node -- North Node in Pisces 7H: instead of focusing on the I, focus on the WE; instead of reinforcing your hypercritical and rigid tendency, learn to be soft and worldly. I think you know it yourself, this is the only way to proceed -- to change. Truthfully, nothing can help you with it but yourself. Believe me, once you change your attitude for the better, everybody and everything else will follow.

PS. Your Saturn Return has just begun, at 29 years old, and this adjustment will last until your 33-34th bday (by then you'd be wiser). You don't know it yet but saturn actually gives you the power to recreate yourself, you just have to let it unfold.
Excuse me for the quick answer, I just have some time constraints now to study your chart thoroughly. Anyway, if you have further questions, please let us have. Hopefully later I could have more time to look at your chart. Thanks.

Hutch, see my response on your other thread, about your love life.

Have you signed up with a reputable Internet dating service? This may put you in a better position than simply feeling irritable about your relationship issues.

As far as your work situation goes, don't be an idiot. You're a mature professional, not a kid playing a video game. What you need to do is work with your moon in Scorpio, which can have a jealous, vindictive streak.

Incidentally, if you have to pay for it, it's not love.

hutch, are you truly open to change in your life? Or would you rather be "right" about your life as it is, yet not have it work? Your life will not change if you fear risk and being vulnerable.

Obviously there are multiple internet dating services. I've known people who met their spouse or long-term BF that way. Alternatively get involved in situations where you are likely to meet young women. Sign up for a language class, for example.

I have Virgo rising, and I think it's a great sign. We have the capacity to be both discerning and helpful to people in practical ways.

Hutch, I couldn't find your earlier OP where your chart was posted. Can you link it here, or just redo it on this thread?

And the main thing in relationships is just to be patient. Because needy people tend to project that need onto a potential love interest. Suddenly she's not there as herself, but principally as someone expected to meet the emotional needs of of the person who feels he's gone too long without love in his life. This can place a big burden on the woman. Feeling relaxed and self-confident, in contrast, are very attractive.

But I think you'll find someone. We see all kinds of posts on this forum from lonely signle women. They're out there.

hutch, don't be silly. You've made up this negative drama about your life. But that's all it is: a drama. You can scrap this imagined drama and make up a more empowering one.

So don't text anybody. Just show up at places where you're likely to meet more women. Join a hobby club. Sign up for a yoga or dance exercise class. Or give yourself a good talking-to and text anyway. Just because you are determined to blast through this simple inhibition.

I don't believe in negative past-lives karma. You do not have to believe in it, either. Because that's all it is. Your belief. There is no proof for it. You can change your beliefs. You'd feel happier if you gave up your belief in past-lives karma.

Maybe, just maybe, you approach people with a chip on your shoulder? Maybe you give off negativity, instead of openness and self-confidence? Have you video'ed yourself and watched how you come across?

If you don't have a friend or relative who will be honest with you about how you come across to others -- or if you wouldn't accept what they said, regardless, because you'd have your made-up self-justification, maybe some sessions with a clinical psychologist (therapist) would be really helpful. Maybe there are reasons why you feel so isolated and loveless that therapy might help to mitigate.

In the meantime, please do some nice things to people who feel even lonelier and more isolated than you do. There are probably many opportunities to volunteer where you live.

So far as your chart goes:

sun square Pluto:
negatively, you see life as a zero-sum game of dominate or be dominated.
positively, you can become a stand for personal transformation.

Saturn opposite Venus
negatively, the original Lonely Guy
positively, you develop the self-discipline to find and attract that special someone

Mars square saturn
negatively, inhibited sexual expression, simmering anger below the surface
positively, you develop the self-discipline to pursue your independent goals.

These are all areas that you can work on.

Have you ever thought of going Men's Counseling groups. There are organizations set up for men to come together to discuss 'being male' and the social burdens etc that come with that.


http://mkpusa.org/mens-group/

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Hutch, are you still in Bulgaria? Katydid has some good ideas, so hopefully you can find something similar where you live.

But--- do you see the big contradictions in what you write?

1. You want to meet a woman (or women) as prospective girlfriend material. But you don't want to go to places where you might actually meet more women apart from your workplace, because it would be too "feminine."

2. You dislike how your co-workers treat you, yet you acknowledge being "cold and distant" to men and overly attentive to women. So why don't you just change this behaviour? Frankly, you're one of the lucky Lonely Guys if your female co-workers find you to be a nice, helpful person. One of them might just want to introduce her single female friend to you.

3. You've got gender construed in incredibly rigid ways. Can people just be people with you, until you find your Dream Girl? (When the boy-girl difference can mean something beautiful.) At least in your workplace, can you just relax around this whole boy-girl thing?

With Mars in Aries you do have a strong libido. I wouldn't judge you if you payed for sex. But keep in mind that the purpose of Tinder isn't to immediately hop into bed with your next date as a free alternative to prostitutes, although this might happen. If you want a girlfriend, you also want to get to know her and respect her as a human being.

So much of what I get out of your posts is a real fear of risking yourself. Rather than risk anything, you come up with these strange stories about why your life isn't working out. But the love and sexually fulfilling relationship you crave probably cannot be had without risk. You have to risk texting (hey, it's only texting, not brain surgery) or hanging out with the guys for a beer after work.

You have to risk feeling OK with yourself.

Astrologically I think a good place to start would be your sun square Pluto.

The only consolation i can offer is that it will not last - once Saturn is done transiting the Venus of yours, things will begin to brighten up again.

Madamoiselle said:

Use this period of Saturn Return to change for the better.
Having said that, if you strip away all these be the opposite of your South Node -- North Node in Pisces 7H: instead of focusing on the I, focus on the WE; instead of reinforcing your hypercritical and rigid tendency, learn to be soft and worldly. I think you know it yourself, this is the only way to proceed -- to change. Truthfully, nothing can help you with it but yourself. Believe me, once you change your attitude for the better, everybody and everything else will follow.

Click to expand...

Thank you! As an update, some things have improved. I rush less doing things.
However, something most people on such forums don't understand is that I'm living in Europe - some of the most ethnically and culturally homogeneous countries are here. Europe is a xenophobic continent where the "one ethnicity, one nation, one country" is still the main thinking of people. I've always felt more connected to the Americas and Australia anyway. I much prefer societies where I can have the option to become local if I want it hard enough. No much how good I know French, English or whatever language, no matter that visibly I can pass for a local even (they don't discriminate me until I tell them where I am from) no matter how I like their culture (used to before encountering them), I can never become local. Being French, British etc. is only earned by blood, by being born there (and even then if your parents are not locals you're not fully accepted). Let's not pretend that Europe is not xenophobic, it is. So with all their problems, I think a "New world", immigrant society would be better for an Eastern European.

It is hard to not be critical, when I've faced so much discrimination by fellow Europeans and they go cold and ghost me once I reveal my origin.