Virgo Man & Virgo Woman - How Should I Proceed?

Hi All,

Met him on a recent international group trip. My first impression was he was kind, gentle, reserved, aloof and appeared quite shy. There were also moments when he seemed arrogant, dismissive and curt with me but, I decided not to personalize it. I guess after warming up to me a bit he began doing things like asking me the same question over and over again, and one day he tried to inquire about my preference in men. Still and all, he barely talked to me until the end of the trip when he invited me to sit with him on the night of our last group dinner. I was so shocked and flustered that I almost tripped over my own feet as I said "no thanks" and simultaneously scurried away to another table with my friends. Later before dinner was over, he approached my table and made it known he wanted to keep in touch when we returned to the states. My mouth fell open. When we returned home, he sent me a FB friend request and then he started copying alot of the things that I would do as it related to places that I would visit, ideas and thoughts about general life topics, etc., but all the while he still remained slightly distant...

Well, I eventually blocked him from FB because he never actually talked to me and intuitively I felt he was low key assessing me and my life to see what I was all about. Needless to say, a few days later, he emailed me to invite me to his annual X-mas party. At the time that he invited me to the function I had to decline due to a previous engagement, and he ended the invite with the sentiments of hoping to see me again. Again, I was shocked.

Just last week we were in contact again regarding a project (he never asked about me blocking him on FB, btw) via email and his replies kept coming in less than five minutes after mine and he kept insisting that we talk via phone (we are setting up an event) and he asked me over and over again -- "when can you talk?" "What about Monday?" "Does Monday work for you?" "I can even talk Tuesday if Monday doesn't work?" A few months ago when we last talked over the phone he seemed annoyed that I was in a noisy place (as he mumbled, "oh, you're in a crowded environment") and I felt in my gut that he was stalling because he wanted to say something else at the end of the conversation but didn't feel comfortable because of all of the distraction around me.

I think he is a great guy as he's successful, handsome, stable, well cultured and traveled, intelligent, kind, fun, interesting. At first he was nowhere on my radar but my thoughts about him have changed a bit since I first met him but I want to be sure I'm not off the mark here?

If something is there I will continue to just go slow with him so that I can find out his character fully for myself. When he kept asking me last week if we could talk, I told him we could talk after the weekend. I don't want to go too fast with anything as I want to be sure of his true intentions?

Do you think I should continue talking with him? If the project goes through, it will entail taking another trip together but I'm not sure.

Welcome to the forum. Is there a horoscope in here somewhere? Without knowing anything more about this man-- or you, it's hard to answer your question. However, you seem to have put him off a lot. Maybe it's OK to trust your gut.

You basically have a horary question at the bottom of your post. If you're not familiar with this branch of astrology, you might look at how it is handled on the horary boards. It goes by the moment of the question, not your birth chart.

waybread said:

Welcome to the forum. Is there a horoscope in here somewhere? Without knowing anything more about this man-- or you, it's hard to answer your question. However, you seem to have put him off a lot. Maybe it's OK to trust your gut.

You basically have a horary question at the bottom of your post. If you're not familiar with this branch of astrology, you might look at how it is handled on the horary boards. It goes by the moment of the question, not your birth chart.

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Hi waybread,

Thank you for the info on horary. I will check it out and familiarize myself.

VenusInScorp said:

Hi waybread,

Thank you for the info on horary. I will check it out and familiarize myself.

Click to expand...

Alternatively, you can post your chart and we can look at transit looming and or his chart but w/his name and birthdata redacted - and we can peak at synastry.

Good luck

Renee35 said:

Alternatively, you can post your chart and we can look at transit looming and or his chart but w/his name and birthdata redacted - and we can peak at synastry.

Good luck

Click to expand...

Hi Renee35,

Ok, I posted my chart, his chart and our synastry/composite. Don't know if posting it in here was best or if I should post it somewhere else?

I think it really depends what you want out of this relationship.

I note that you have a significant age difference. You might appreciate a relationship with a take-charge kind of guy, but on the other hand, with his Mars-Pluto- Jupiter in Leo bunched up around his MC, he has a considerable amount of pride invested in getting his own way. This isn't true in all cases, but people (like him) with chart relationship between Venus, Mars, and Jupiter are often into polyamory. You might just be of interest because you've not succumbed to his charms.

Your moons are sextiled, however, which is a real asset in a relationship, suggesting emotional compatibility. It's out-of-sign, but your Venus sextiles his Mars, and Your Mars sextiles his Venus, which astrologically is pretty hot stuff.

I assume that a 12:00 birth time for John is an estimate. This means you really cannot use houses for his chart or the composite, and his moon could move 6 degrees in either direction.

If you're interested in John, why not respond, but then take it slow, without too many expectations?

hi VenusInScorp

I looked at the composite and it looks pretty much like what you wrote...confusing

Jupiter is square the node which can show intellectual similarities and often a relationship in the workspace of with similar professions.

but there seems to be a lot of unconscious dynamics here.

the sun is conjunct to mercury which can give mental openness.

but there is a Uranus/pluto conjunction opposed to chiron . this is some what ominous as it can show a critical ,analytical mental connection that overlies some very volatile unconscious dynamics . this bodes that there are unconscious emotional issues underlying the conscious rapport. in addition the sun/Uranus, sun/pluto,mercury/Uranus and mercury/pluto midpoints are square to nessus. this is particularly domineering and controlling. this can manifest a very domineering and abusive impulse
in addition the sun/Venus midpoint is conjunct to the Uranus/pluto conjunction and opposed to chiron which is also a bit of a emotio0nal red flag as this unites affection feelings with domineering impulses. this is not really a healthy pattern as again, the conscious emotional interactions are actually being manipulated by unconscious dynamics that are not nurturing. this is potentially very exploitive

.the sun/Saturn midpoint is conjunct to mars indicating he is very set on enforcing his will. and eris is opposed to Saturn which give a strong sexual attraction but it is completive and not all considerate and sincerely loving.

the Jupiter/juno midpoint is conjunct to Saturn so I seems you a sense that this could be a solid relationship or that it might be good for your professional standing.

the sun/moon midpoint is conjunct to ixion which indicates the relationship's foundation are on rather antagonistic ground .again this is a exploitive impulse rather that a symbiotic nurturing relationship.

I think you should not second guess you initial feeling about him.
rahu

waybread said:

I think it really depends what you want out of this relationship.

I note that you have a significant age difference. You might appreciate a relationship with a take-charge kind of guy, but on the other hand, with his Mars-Pluto- Jupiter in Leo bunched up around his MC, he has a considerable amount of pride invested in getting his own way. This isn't true in all cases, but people (like him) with chart relationship between Venus, Mars, and Jupiter are often into polyamory. You might just be of interest because you've not succumbed to his charms.

Your moons are sextiled, however, which is a real asset in a relationship, suggesting emotional compatibility. It's out-of-sign, but your Venus sextiles his Mars, and Your Mars sextiles his Venus, which astrologically is pretty hot stuff.

I assume that a 12:00 birth time for John is an estimate. This means you really cannot use houses for his chart or the composite, and his moon could move 6 degrees in either direction.

If you're interested in John, why not respond, but then take it slow, without too many expectations?

Click to expand...

Hi again, waybread,

Thank you for this very in-depth and informative analysis.

Polyamory? Whew! Won't deal with that. I was recently told that his Scorpio placements, particularly his Scorpio moon, indicated his high propensity for faithfulness within a romantic relationship but I guess not.

Not sure if I will respond. Need to think on it some more.

rahu said:

hi VenusInScorp

I looked at the composite and it looks pretty much like what you wrote...confusing

Jupiter is square the node which can show intellectual similarities and often a relationship in the workspace of with similar professions.

but there seems to be a lot of unconscious dynamics here.

the sun is conjunct to mercury which can give mental openness.

but there is a Uranus/pluto conjunction opposed to chiron . this is some what ominous as it can show a critical ,analytical mental connection that overlies some very volatile unconscious dynamics . this bodes that there are unconscious emotional issues underlying the conscious rapport. in addition the sun/Uranus, sun/pluto,mercury/Uranus and mercury/pluto midpoints are square to nessus. this is particularly domineering and controlling. this can manifest a very domineering and abusive impulse
in addition the sun/Venus midpoint is conjunct to the Uranus/pluto conjunction and opposed to chiron which is also a bit of a emotio0nal red flag as this unites affection feelings with domineering impulses. this is not really a healthy pattern as again, the conscious emotional interactions are actually being manipulated by unconscious dynamics that are not nurturing. this is potentially very exploitive

.the sun/Saturn midpoint is conjunct to mars indicating he is very set on enforcing his will. and eris is opposed to Saturn which give a strong sexual attraction but it is completive and not all considerate and sincerely loving.

the Jupiter/juno midpoint is conjunct to Saturn so I seems you a sense that this could be a solid relationship or that it might be good for your professional standing.

the sun/moon midpoint is conjunct to ixion which indicates the relationship's foundation are on rather antagonistic ground .again this is a exploitive impulse rather that a symbiotic nurturing relationship.

I think you should not second guess you initial feeling about him.
rahu

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Hi, rahu,

Thank you so much. This is deep and quite frankly, it frightens me.

When you say domineering, are you referring to him, myself or both? I know that he is an ultra domineering personality and I can be as well, however, I am quite traditional in relationships as I believe that men should take the lead...on many things.

Well, I for sure don't want a sexual relationship sans love so I think I have my answer and know without a doubt what I need to do.

VenusInScorp said:

Hi again, waybread,

Thank you for this very in-depth and informative analysis.

Polyamory? Whew! Won't deal with that. I was recently told that his Scorpio placements, particularly his Scorpio moon, indicated his high propensity for faithfulness within a romantic relationship but I guess not.

Not sure if I will respond. Need to think on it some more.

Click to expand...

Scorpio as a sign has a big potential for loyalty, if this is what you refer to. But it can also be jealous and possessive. Assuming the default noon birth time is roughly correct, his moon conjuncts Saturn and squares his Leo planets.

Obviously he might have worked through these issues and resolved them long ago. Then again, do you know why he's single?

waybread said:

Scorpio as a sign has a big potential for loyalty, if this is what you refer to. But it can also be jealous and possessive. Assuming the default noon birth time is roughly correct, his moon conjuncts Saturn and squares his Leo planets.

Obviously he might have worked through these issues and resolved them long ago. Then again, do you know why he's single?

Click to expand...

Good question. No, I don't know why he's single. Perhaps that's another red flag?

Moon conjuncts Saturn and squares his Leo planets...does that mean he's mostly Leo? In nature? Sorry, amateur here.

Again, thanks for your help.

Not really. All of "John's" planets are bunched up in just 4 signs, which would give his life a lot of focus. But his sun and Mercury in Virgo, and his rising sign, Saturn, and moon in Scorpio, plus the Leo planets, give 3 major themes or flavours to his life. With the Leo planets in the 10th house, we can assume that "John's" Virgo nature probably displays more pride, notably regarding career success, than we'd normally expect from Virgo on its own.

Signs show how or in what manner a planet operates. The planets themselves represent certain facets of life. It's like, if a sign functions like the "what" or noun (subject) in a sentence, its sign is like a modifying adjective.

Most planets, except for the occasional "loner" are in one or more aspects with other planets. An aspect basically refers to the degrees of separation between two or more planets. We allow a little "wiggle room" (called an orb) because if an aspect is a few degrees off exact, we still count it. The main ones are:

0 degrees: conjunction. The two planets function together as a unit.

60 degrees: sextile. Generally favourable, connotes excitement.

90 degrees: square. Considerable inner tension.

120 degrees: trine. favourable, easy flow between the involved planets.

180 degrees: opposition. Planets tend to work at cross-purposes.

You'll see a triangle-shaped diagram with your charts, that indicates these aspects plus some minor ones.

With all of those squares, Mr. Virgo probably experiences a lot of inner tension. Among other things, the moon rules one's emotions, and a key word for the moon square Mars, for example, be "angry feelings."

My big caveat here is that we do often find with older people that they suffered from hard aspects more as young people. Then they learned more about themselves and about life, and managed to work through their issues. I don't want to pre-judge "John."

waybread said:

Not really. All of "John's" planets are bunched up in just 4 signs, which would give his life a lot of focus. But his sun and Mercury in Virgo, and his rising sign, Saturn, and moon in Scorpio, plus the Leo planets, give 3 major themes or flavours to his life. With the Leo planets in the 10th house, we can assume that "John's" Virgo nature probably displays more pride, notably regarding career success, than we'd normally expect from Virgo on its own.

Signs show how or in what manner a planet operates. The planets themselves represent certain facets of life. It's like, if a sign functions like the "what" or noun (subject) in a sentence, its sign is like a modifying adjective.

Most planets, except for the occasional "loner" are in one or more aspects with other planets. An aspect basically refers to the degrees of separation between two or more planets. We allow a little "wiggle room" (called an orb) because if an aspect is a few degrees off exact, we still count it. The main ones are:

0 degrees: conjunction. The two planets function together as a unit.

60 degrees: sextile. Generally favourable, connotes excitement.

90 degrees: square. Considerable inner tension.

120 degrees: trine. favourable, easy flow between the involved planets.

180 degrees: opposition. Planets tend to work at cross-purposes.

You'll see a triangle-shaped diagram with your charts, that indicates these aspects plus some minor ones.

With all of those squares, Mr. Virgo probably experiences a lot of inner tension. Among other things, the moon rules one's emotions, and a key word for the moon square Mars, for example, be "angry feelings."

My big caveat here is that we do often find with older people that they suffered from hard aspects more as young people. Then they learned more about themselves and about life, and managed to work through their issues. I don't want to pre-judge "John."

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Thank you again, waybread. I think I understand much better now. It's so intricate and quite beautiful, this astrology field. I love all of the things that you can learn about someone just by reading their chart.

I understand you not wanting to pre-judge but I thought that this was what it was all about. Meh, guess you really don't "know" someone until you've spent time with them.