Wow, Rahu, that is an amazing reading! Thank you, thank you, thank you -- from the bottom of my heart...
Now let me add some background or context to some of the things you said:
the composite chart for the relationship has many aspects of love and commitment.it elicts a deep sense of emotional/spiritual completion in you.
there are a stellium of loving symbol,moon,lilth,jupiter/venus midpoint,sun/jupiter midpoint,moon/uranus midpoint all conjunct. this shows a emotional and social love.it gives feelings of commitment.
with venus conjuct the sun/moon and mercury/jupiter midpoint,the feeling of uniting are strong as spontaneous affection and open.ess are around you.
with nymhe opposed to mercury, mars/venus midpoint,jupiter/juno midpoint and moon/uranus midpoint, there is a feeling that all is well as your personal enegies mesh so fluidity that ever little thing you do and say seems to be fore ordained.
We do have a very easy connection. Most of the time, we find it easy to talk to one another and we enjoy each other's company, which is interesting because it happens in spite of some degree of language barrier. When we meet in person, it is not unusual for us to talk for hours at a time, oblivious to our surroundings. We have gone to parties together with a few hundred other people in it (many of whom we both know quite well) and yet ended up spending the entire time at the party talking only to each other with just cursory hi's and hello's to others.
this chart feels like a marriage proposal or an arranged marriage as jupiter is sextile to mercury and trine orcus.social dynamics are a big part of the relationship.the moon/jupiter midpoint is square to the sun/venus midpoint,again,highlighting supportive,respect affections that seem driven toward commitment.actuaklly a marriage seems well thought out as mercury sextiles to juiter ,you are both well educated and supported by family tradition.venus sextile to chiron shows that you are sensitive to each others emotional qirks or "issues".this gives a supportive and healing understanding of each other.
This is interesting... here's the thing... I actually have zero interest in marrying this guy. I guess I'm looking for more of a "friend with benefits" type of a relationship with him. He already is a good friend who has consistently signalled sexual interest for over 2 years. He has been polite and urbane but persistent in his signals whenever we meet in person (more on this later -- he doesn't communicate well over e-mails, etc). I have been the resistant one... so far... Now what you said about marriage proposal reminded me... he did propose several times about us working on a research project together. We are both in the same field and educated to the highest levels that our fields would allow. I wonder if that would also manifest itself in these aspects??
with orcus opposed to mercury, in spite of the magical emotional interaction between you,there is a separation.there is a block berween lettin g each other know there deepest feelings.
We live in different continents and only meet a few times a year for professional reasons and that's the way it will continue unless I take up some sort of involved project with him.
you are clearly more forthcoming but he has a very selfish inner self which is shown by the mars/pluto square.and the midpoint of mars/pluto squares venus. this is one of several dark aspects,as this shows than beneath the "soulmate", he is only looking ou tfor himself.
This was very illuminating -- thank you for bringing this up. Oddly enough, my bff, who has an uncanny perception of characters, referred to him as self-serving and unreliable when she saw his picture! She has never met him, by the way. Also, when we meet in person, he is the one chasing me around, so to speak. But otherwise, it's almost as if he expects me to initiate all e-mail and phone contacts with him. He's hopeless over e-mails... much better over the phone.
what is most difficult is the feeling and potential for heavenly bliss are balanced by a emotionally chained karma.
I didn't quite get this part... would you mind explaining a bit more?
actually it is surprising you are asking about him as summer seemed to be a very tense period ,if you were with him.and in to september ,i woul think that you felt this need to dominate with no sensitivity.
He has been trying to get me to visit him in his country for a while now. Interestingly, he was very keen on my visiting him this summer but I didn't really have that much of an urge to go see him. I suppose I had better things to do with my time then!!
this is a strongly carnal impulse
Remember how I said that I was the resistant one so far? Well, the last time we met, we spent a delightful fun evening together (almost 4 hours chatting about all kinds of stuff). At this point, I am not thinking anything remotely sexual. I get ready to go back to my hotel (I catch a flight back home the next day) and we are saying goodbye before I get into the taxi. We kiss each other on the cheeks and it is the most profound, bizarre, earth-shattering, heart-pounding connection that was ever triggered in me by the simple touch of someone's skin. I cannot describe it in words. Something as mundane as cheeks brushing turned me weak-kneed and unable to breathe. His eyes were like saucers too. The feelings were so intensely sexual that quite frankly it spooked me because I wasn't expecting anything but a nice friendly goodbye. So what did I do? I hopped into my taxi and escaped to my hotel. I couldn't sleep that whole night... even now, when I think about it, it gets me very excited. I have never felt this level of, I don't know what to call it, carnal charge, sexual charge, whatever it is with anybody else in my entire life.
So that's what got me thinking about the "friend with benefits" relationship. I have had one such relationship in the past and it was pleasant experience. But this is not something I can have with just anybody... it has to be with someone with whom I have some level of emotional and friendly connection. I care about this guy (must be the Cancer ascendant side of me??) and we do look out for each other in terms of our professional matters. Do I want to marry him? Hell no!
But the intensity in our last meeting gave me considerable pause for thought... do you see any past life connections in our synastry? Considering my culture and religion, I do believe in past life connections and this level of feelings seemed almost... abnormal, shall we say... that was what prompted me to look at our charts from the get go.
I do have one concern... you said:
male impulse wants submission in addition to gratification.
Does this imply abuse of some form?
but I thought the chart I uploaded for me (Mine.gif) shows the synastry as that birth time is known. Please let me know if I am totally off-base on this!