Secret to an 82%+ Accuracy in Predictive Astrology Readings

Rawiri

Well-known member
And lose friends and alienate people...all while never even looking at a chart.

Just say what nobody wants to hear.

"Will I be famous?" -> "No."

"Will I be rich?" -> "No."

"Will we get married?" -> You guessed it, "No."

"When will I be happy?" -> "Never."

You'll be wrong sometimes. But not most of the time!

Just say no, and you too can accurately predict the future. This message was sponsored by your friendly adviser, Saturn.

DISCLAIMER: Side-effects of using this advice may include anger, odd leakage from eyes, depression, anal fissures and death.

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[Soft Saturn, Warm Saturn, little ball of fur...]
 

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
And lose friends and alienate people...all while never even looking at a chart.

Just say what nobody wants to hear.

"Will I be famous?" -> "No."

"Will I be rich?" -> "No."

"Will we get married?" -> You guessed it, "No."

"When will I be happy?" -> "Never."

You'll be wrong sometimes. But not most of the time!

Just say no, and you too can accurately predict the future. This message was sponsored by your friendly adviser, Saturn.

DISCLAIMER: Side-effects of using this advice may include anger, odd leakage from eyes, depression, anal fissures and death.
also, prior to "reading the chart"
ask the person to tell you every personal detail regarding their life :smile:
then simply feed it back to the "client"
thus astonishing the client with your amazing accuracy
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[Soft Saturn, Warm Saturn, little ball of fur...]
 

Rawiri

Well-known member
Sorry for the delay...it has been an eventful week. I'm looking forward to next month...

Don't take that number too seriously. The whole thread is tongue-in-cheek. Kind of, anyhow...
 

sadge

Well-known member
Sorry for the delay...it has been an eventful week. I'm looking forward to next month...

Don't take that number too seriously. The whole thread is tongue-in-cheek. Kind of, anyhow...

I'm sorry to hear about your week, Rawiri. Hope it gets better. Don't worry about numbers with me....I don't know how to read them. I can barely read at all, actually. So no worries, my friend.
 
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