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Unread 10-24-2020, 11:21 AM
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Neptunian Rainbow Neptunian Rainbow is offline
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Re: Impressions on my chart... help

I have two Yods, one with Saturn at the apex. Yods are highly frustrating! When you interpret the Yod, try to think about what the different planets in the Yod represents. Then think about in which ways you feel stuck between a rock and a hard place in your life. With Yods, you will feel as if the options you have to choose between are all horrible.

Iīll share an example from my life:

I have felt that I canīt have love (Venus) and a stable relationship in which I am treated with respect (Saturn). I have had to choose between being used and disrespected by someone I love OR I have had to force my body and my heart to be with someone I donīt have feelings for. It has been easy for me to find someone who loves me and who is committed and respectful as long as I have been willing to sacrifice my need to feel love. The second leg of the Yod is complicated, but Chiron in the fifth and a desire to have children is involved in the mix. Another dilemma is that I feel as if I am not worthy of money. I feel that I have to work hard in order to merely survive and I canīt work with something I want to do. My Yods cause me many different kinds of difficulties since each planet is associated with many aspects of life.

Mariah Carey has a Yod with Saturn conjunct Venus at the apex. She said in an interview that she thought that she could not be both happy and succesful, she had to choose. The man who helped her to become famous was controlling and emotionally abusive. She felt that she had to endure that in order to be successful. This song made by her reminds me of how I have felt when I have pushed away someone I love due to not feeling respected. Venus is also square Neptune and that doesnīt exactly make it easier for me.

https://vimeo.com/214384863

I have the feeling that I cannot live without one part of the Yod. When I have tried to get what I want it has felt impossible due to fears, obstacles in life or health issues or I have to pay a price by sacrificing a crucially important part of the Yod.

The Yod shows fragmentation. Iīll explain why I have the problem I have mentioned above.
Growing up, I had to be kind and give other people what they needed in order to be accepted, if I had boundaries and stood up for myself I was met with anger and I was ignored and excluded. However, when I did act as a people pleaser, my father exploded with rage because he saw me as weak and pathetic. If I tried to hide and be invisible, that also triggered him since I then appeared weak. I just couldnīt win. When a child notices that some parts of them are not allowed or accepted, they will often repress those parts and try to find ways of surviving in the environment they grow up in. I have Neptune on the Asc like you. I was talented at shapeshifting in many ways but it didnīt matter, no strategy worked. Everyone is fragmented to some extent, but as I have understood it from reading about it, people with Yods are more fragmented than what is usual.

The thing with a Yod is that it wonīt work regardless of how hard you try. What is needed is for you to heal the fragmentation and you need to feel and believe within you can have the things you want in life. I saw an interview with Mariah Carey in which she said that she later realized that she is worthy of having happiness AND success.

I am currently in a really healthy relationship. Everything is not in place yet, but this is a great improvement. My financial situation is better than ever. If things continue on this path now, I may have the things I want within a couple of years. With Neptune being a strong influence in ones life, it is difficult to be fully satisfied. There is a longing for something otherwordly. But I have decided to not escape into illusions, my aim is to be grounded in this reality and bring the magic of Neptune down into it.

With a Yod you may feel some sort of calling in life, in your case related to Saturn in the third house. Pluto and Chiron makes me think that you have had experiences of feeling powerless, helpless and vulnerable. Saturn may inhibit communication, but I believe this will improve as you get older. Pluto-Chiron and the Yod implies that there is some ancestral patterns that has been laid on your shoulders to work with. The Pluto issues may be from your moms side. Some with this aspect will feel overpowered and some overpower others. The third option with Chiron is to become a healer for yourself and others. Maybe in the future you could teach (Saturn in third house) other people about power issues and how to express power in a healthy way. The Moon in the 8th adds to the Scorpio/Pluto theme of your Yod.

Feel free to ask me questions if you want. Your chart is especially interesting to me since we have several things in common.
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Starr22 (10-24-2020)