"Dear Abby"- forgive me, this may be the only time in this life I can say this!
It certainly sounds like you're in desperate need of down time, niceness, even, gracious energy. But I've just got to say, the stereotypes of what comprise 'femininity' are so off of reality. For the life of me, I think we'd be hard pressed to imagine anything more gory than childbirth, so much, that the Saturn returns are a re-cycling of that traumatic time of our lives. Well, gory, save for that dreaded ritual women must endure on a monthly basis. In my 60 years, I would not describe women as necessarily gentle.
It's distressing to hear that those who should be your friends have fallen away over your restrictions and choices. It doesn't sound as though they're worthy of you. Real friends would look past that. Frequently it seems like we're in another 'dark age', when all anyone seems to want to do is get trashed.
The polarizing attributes attributed to gender are largely a product of religion, and especially Hollywood programming. Looking through archives and census records going back to the turn of the last century reveals that most functional households in America (and likely elsewhere) were matriarchies. Our current status quo is responsible for exaggerated reactions, and the sad confusion young people are going through, based on such typecasting. You've an affinity with engineering and machinery? You're really a male! You adore cosmetics and fashion? Most assuredly, you're supposed to be female!
That sun, pluto and saturn all in the 12th house seem to be crying out for a venusian retreat, the leisurely, relaxing kind. You're thirsty for culture? How about a Chopin concert? If it's tactile sensuality you crave, stoneware pottery crafting and stringed instruments are very gratifying.
That's my two cents, I hope it helps!