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Unread 09-14-2019, 09:37 PM
ZoraEos ZoraEos is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Re: Was he an abuser?

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Originally Posted by Meluzina View Post
Well, that Mars conj. chiron in cancer, opposite uranus as his chart ruler. Chiron in cancer + chiron opposite uranus in capricorn - feeling not enough nurtured or maybe the opposite, smothered, so his original unique personality was not valued which might make one rebelious to the point of being purely (self)destructive and craving vastly to be successful as that unique individual, to be acknowledged as such by everyone. Chiron+ Mars - very touchy about the wound, you get close to that weak spot and it ignites, an urge to vent that, to get that out, extreme heroic healing journey or maybe just extremely bumpy process. Again, Mars as the one and only 'I', no, he wouldn't like to be pushed around. Mars and Uranus opposition - eruptive force, able to go from 0 to 100 in seconds. Prone to get irritated badly. This thing happening in sixth house + eight house in Virgo, the sign of critique - the nurturing person might have been to critical, or he might have been loaded with heavy weight too soon, doing some task that required high discipline, so he turned to be disciplining, critical, analytical and really prone to really mind stuff himself and require discipline from people around, great mind as his curse and power. His third house in Aries makes him feel endangered, he might interpret lots of surrounding stimuli as agrresion, so that makes one defensive. But turning back to the Mars, there is frustration with Mars in cancer, Mars there is in conflict, not really able to be assertive in healthy ways, problems with chanelling impulses, so feeling powerless - which makes you irritable because he holds his anger inside, choking on it, than explodes. Again, stemming from problems with mother, there is probably anger towards her, eventually evolved into misogyny - and girl, you know who replaces the mother in the adulthood of a man.. So, you are a scorpio (powerful), with Capricorn asc (cold and succesful) and Venus in Virgo (discipline), Mars in leo (proud) so my guess is that you were making him feel little, like a little boy which made him really really angry.
Wow, what a thoughtful and brilliant analysis! I think you are absolutely right! He told me about his childhood - His mother was a very strict and critical disciplinarian. He hated her, and he has even committed physical violence against her two times in his teenage-hood. As a teenager, he was incredibly rebellious to a self-destructive degree; committing vandalism, stealing, and doing drugs. He had calmed down a bit by the time I met him, in his mid-20's, but still had self-destructive tendencies, and was certainly irritable and passive-aggressive during his relationship towards me. And yes, very defensive! He never hit me, but there would be these covert insults he would say to me - then when I would ask him about it, he would say that "it was just a joke" or "I said that because you were frustrating me". But once a pattern of that emerged and he became increasingly irritable and overtly insulting, especially during our arguments, that is when I broke up with him.

That is a very interesting insight - that because of my success and the way I am (very ambitious and disciplined), maybe that threatened him and made him feel like "a little boy" like you said. Because that was a major divide in the relationship - I kept excelling and growing more and more, while he was struggling with employment (sometimes unemployed for many months) and worked low-wage jobs. Sometimes it seemed to me that he came across as intimidated or envious of that. He even said on a few occasions that he felt he didn't deserve me because of that, but I would always assure him that that was not the case - I didn't care about his money or status, I loved him for who he is.

Last edited by ZoraEos; 09-14-2019 at 09:40 PM.
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