"They remind me of my ex who was abusive."
My comment was in reference to this, plus your comments about your current relationship.
Being "off track" would indicate not getting what you need. or seek from the relationship, not necessarily "serious conflicts".
Moon represents the type of partner you are attracted to, in general, and the moon/venus/jupiter contact is very easy and loving, while Neptune can bring infatuations and disillusion, while Uranus needs lots of space and freedom and can leave as quickly as it comes.
You wrote your brother was not raised with you, but he was your "real" brother, right? Not half brother.
Not sure why he was brought into the picture, but your 3rd house of siblings is ruled by Venus, which brings it into the configuration with Jupiter, moon, NN, Nessus, (this last might explain why you were separated), and all of these opposing Lilith.
Your mars conjunct descendent will tend towards strong partners, active ones, and arguments or disputes with them. It's too wide an orb to be conjunct moon, but the opposition with the strong-willed Uranus and spiritual Neptune will influence your relationships, starting with the choices you make of partners.
Your friend's mars falls exactly on your Lilith, and opposes his own pluto making it difficult for him to control his energy expression, and this frustration could come out in a negative way, and as ruler of his 4th of home could create an argumentative domestic situation that he creates with any partner. It is conjunct your south node, in opposition with your Venus/jupiter/NN, stimulating sexual attraction, a joyous feeling when together, but with a tendency towards possessiveness, jealousy and a controlling behaviour.