My creepy natal chart

miquar

Well-known member
Hi Moonwind. Sorry to hear that things have been, and are, so difficult.

The square between the Moon-Pluto and Mercury seems to say a lot about your communication issues as well as their source. And with Leo rising and Sun conjunct Saturn on the 12th house cusp, its not surprising that you feel self conscious. Venus in Virgo in the 1st house perhaps adds to your self-consciousness about your appearance. And Mars and Venus in earth, with Moon conjunct Pluto, does suggest the possibility of a strong sex drive.

I don't feel that there is a quick fix for your situation. The only thing that comes to your mind in response to your comment that you are supposed to be doing something but you don't know what it is, is that we are each 'supposed' to try to accept the feelings which arise as we engage with the world in our own peculiar way.

I would guess that the sense of having some particular purpose is connected with the Sun Jupiter Saturn configuration, which makes a wide-ish t-square with Uranus. Obviously where Saturn is strong, a lot depends on the kinds of guidance/criticism we received in childhood, and of course you came off very badly on that front. Moon-Pluto obviously also needs careful handling and, again, you got the opposite of what you needed.

Some ideas which may or may not be useful are:

Firstly, you may be sitting on more rage or resentment than you realise. It could be that you need to get in touch with that so that you can tap into your inner resources. Moon-Pluto suggests a connection, through the maternal line, with a vast reservoir of life energy, and that your recent ancestors haven't coped well with that. It seems that perhaps it has fallen to you to do something creative with that energy.

Secondly, and this ties in with the first point, 12th house placements often suggest energies that have been misused or ignored by one's ancestors, and so need to be redeemed. The Sun and Saturn both give us a sense of being solid, conscious, self-sufficient individuals, and so it seems that perhaps your family have lacked attunement to this potential in recent generations. This would have made them more likely to get stuck in some kind jungle-law/fight-for-survival mentality when faced with Pluto's power.

If it feels right to do so, it may work for you to see your purpose as redeeming load of stuff that your ancestors couldn't handle. With self-honesty and determination, you can fulfil that purpose.

Hope this helps a bit. Feel free to keep the dialogue going if you think it would benefit you to do so.

Best wishes,
 

Moonwind

Active member
Very interesting!

It seems that perhaps it has fallen to you to do something creative with that energy.

Such as...?

If it feels right to do so, it may work for you to see your purpose as redeeming load of stuff that your ancestors couldn't handle.

But what would that be?
 

StillOne

Well-known member
I would consider the Sun/Saturn conj to be in the 12th house.

Also, Mars is the apex of a Yod. That could explain a lot of things.

Sorry gotta run.
 

miquar

Well-known member
Well, 12th house energies are the unfinished business of some collective or other (which includes a family). They don't really belong to the individual, but they need to be focused through the individual. So this is why the notion of 'service to others' comes into the 12th house. This doesn't have to be anything particularly tangible though.

The 12th house, on one level, is a compartment of the psyche which is very open to what is circulating in the pyschic atmosphere around us. You will be prone to absorbing the self-consciousness of those around you, which they may have managed to push to the back of their minds. So its good for you to have time away from other people. But as you find your own strength, your presence will have an increasingly healing effect on others.

By stuff that your ancestors couldn't handle, I mean just that they got into destructive ways of being because of the intensity and combination of archetypes which have been passed down the lineage, and because of the bad examples that have perhaps been handed down of how to deal creatively with these energies.

Whatever you feel is undermining you now is potentially a pointer to your purpose. I don't feel I know enough about you to guess what actual form the purpose might take. I would perhaps see the next step along your path as being more to do with putting a different spin on your difficulties, rather than immediately embarking on a concrete mission of some kind.

Then when transiting Uranus hits the T-square in a few years time, things may move up a gear, if they haven't already.
 

Moonwind

Active member
@Miquar: I've always felt like the 12th house stuff meant I was going to end up in the crazyhouse (been there twice as a teen) for good, where I'll spend the rest of my days filling up adult diapers. LOL

@MissCubyA: My mother is sun in scorpio, moon in virgo and virgo rising. I don't seem to get along very well with anybody who has the sun in scorpio. And yes, if you read my introduction, I mentioned that I am very much into occult stuff, as is my mother. Well, I got it from her. She has good points but they were always overshadowed by her dark side.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Moonwind, I believe in "free will," but of course it is never absolute. If it were, I would stop ageing, shed my surplus pounds immediately, and hire a housekeeping staff.

You might consider whether your "destiny" concept is also never absolute (as in, who decides what socks you put on in the morning? Do we truly think the planets control daily trivia?) However you construe your "fate" however, it is liable to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So think through how and where you want your mind to go.

Your chart is not the toughest one out there, but sun-Saturn in Cancer can make you quite the recluse. Aided and abetted by Leo rising. If the Lion can't gain recognition, it likes to lick its wounds in its den. Or your Cancer spirit can give you a sense, in some small way, of nurturing other people-- notably abused women. That moon-Pluto square to Mercury looks pretty harsh, but see if you can give from your heart to female victims of rape, battery, or stalking threats. Shelters and hotlines that do this work oftentimes need volunteers. Or volunteer to help women in hospice. This would be a more empowering interpretation of your moon (women)-Pluto (underworld, death, domination.)

Mercury indicates your thought processes. If you want to let go of Mom as moon-Pluto, you will need something to take her place; ideally something constructive.

How are you expressing that third house Uranus! Maybe through Internet communication, but it should blast old sun-Saturn out of the crab's shell occasionally.

With Venus square Neptune, you may be very, very idealistic. Reality is a big disappointment. You can translate these energies into creative arts.

You have a yod in your chart, pointing to Mars in Taurus in the 9th. How are you handling it? This placement reminds me of the saying, "Home is where the heart is, but your soul needs to get out once in a while."

I don't like gyms, either. I get my exercise by dog-walking, swimming, and occasional hiking and canoeing. Your yod suggests gardening; ideally something with a foreign 9th house flair. If you live in an apartment, try bonsai!

I recognize that if you are deeply unhappy, this seems like a lot of sublimation. But the universe notices when you take small steps to help yourself, and begins to realign for you. Now that's destiny.
 
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waybread

Well-known member
Just one more thing! Women who have trouble meeting Mr. Right tend to stereotype men mercilessly. Don't do that. Old women, ugly women, fat women, you-name-it can and do have good, solid relationships. I can name several off the bat. They do so as kind, loving people who see their man as an individual, not as a subset of stereotypical "men."
 

Moonwind

Active member
Moonwind, I believe in "free will," but of course it is never absolute. If it were, I would stop ageing, shed my surplus pounds immediately, and hire a housekeeping staff.

You might consider whether your "destiny" concept is also never absolute (as in, who decides what socks you put on in the morning? Do we truly think the planets control daily trivia?) However you construe your "fate" however, it is liable to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So think through how and where you want your mind to go.

It seems that whenever I do something that's not part of the plan (whatever that may be), along comes fate to slap me down with a vengeance. Something rotten always happens when I try to live the so-called "normal" life. Fate wants me to be weird! LOL I believe that, for me, free will exists, but I am punished for using it. I don't assume to know about the extent of others' free will, I just know about me.

Your chart is not the toughest one out there, but sun-Saturn in Cancer can make you quite the recluse. Aided and abetted by Leo rising. If the Lion can't gain recognition, it likes to lick its wounds in its den. Or your Cancer spirit can give you a sense, in some small way, of nurturing other people-- notably abused women. That moon-Pluto square to Mercury looks pretty harsh, but see if you can give from your heart to female victims of rape, battery, or stalking threats. Shelters and hotlines that do this work oftentimes need volunteers. Or volunteer to help women in hospice. This would be a more empowering interpretation of your moon (women)-Pluto (underworld, death, domination.)

That doesn't sound like a very good idea. Seeing those types of things makes me very angry, to the point that it consumes my thoughts and causes me to feel even more depressed & powerless. Besides, I'm not very good at the nurturing thing. I detest hugging, for instance. That's a band-aid type of job; treating the causalities but never dealing with the root of the problem. Doesn't suite me.

Mercury indicates your thought processes. If you want to let go of Mom as moon-Pluto, you will need something to take her place; ideally something constructive.

I let go of her a few years ago...but she likes to try and sneak back in, once in a while.

How are you expressing that third house Uranus! Maybe through Internet communication, but it should blast old sun-Saturn out of the crab's shell occasionally.

Well, it certainly makes me think differently. :biggrin:

With Venus square Neptune, you may be very, very idealistic. Reality is a big disappointment. You can translate these energies into creative arts.

Yeah, I love all things artistic & creative.

You have a yod in your chart, pointing to Mars in Taurus in the 9th. How are you handling it? This placement reminds me of the saying, "Home is where the heart is, but your soul needs to get out once in a while."

I don't know much about Yods, but I read that mars in that position means I'm some sort of "warrior" or some such. LOL

I don't like gyms, either. I get my exercise by dog-walking, swimming, and occasional hiking and canoeing. Your yod suggests gardening; ideally something with a foreign 9th house flair. If you live in an apartment, try bonsai!

I love the gym, I just don't like large groups of people. I live in a house, but I have a weed problem that I don't care to mess with. I suck at gardening. I tried to grow tomatoes; the plant died. Besides, that involves a great deal of responsibility...something I suck at in a major way.

I recognize that if you are deeply unhappy, this seems like a lot of sublimation. But the universe notices when you take small steps to help yourself, and begins to realign for you. Now that's destiny.

I'm bipolar, so my moods change very quickly. I was depressed earlier, but I feel okay now. I'm always riding the rollarcoaster of emotions; up, down, up, down. :biggrin:
 

Moonwind

Active member
Just one more thing! Women who have trouble meeting Mr. Right tend to stereotype men mercilessly.

As do men who can't find a woman. It's a two-way street, and I can't count how many "nice guy" rants I've heard on the internet. Problem is, they want a blow-up doll with giant breasts. My expectations aren't unrealistic or fake, unlike most men I've had conversations with.

Don't do that. Old women, ugly women, fat women, you-name-it can and do have good, solid relationships. I can name several off the bat. They do so as kind, loving people who see their man as an individual, not as a subset of stereotypical "men."

I don't want a good, solid relationship. I'm not like most women. I don't need a man for emotional support or self-esteem boosting. There's only one thing I'm interested in, and it isn't love. He can save that for his mama. :whistling::devil:
 

Zarathu

Account Closed
I don't want a good, solid relationship. I'm not like most women. I don't need a man for emotional support or self-esteem boosting. There's only one thing I'm interested in, and it isn't love. He can save that for his mama. :whistling::devil:

OK.... I've been successfully married to the woman of my dreams for 40+ years. We've gone through a lot together, with difficult(white coat kids like you) and other things.

What a relationship IS, is mutual emotional support and self esteem boosting. In the end, everything goes away but this. If you don't want this, then you really don't want a relationship, imo. I was attracted to my wife because she was hot forty years ago(and it was also the micro-mini skirt era), but it was this emotional support part that drew me to seeing her as a life partner within the first 10 minutes of the first date. And its that mutual caring that keeps us together 40 years later.

IMO, every guy you connect with is really looking for a life partner. And unless you are another conquest in his one-night stand lifestyle, he will not stay with you if you are not emotionally supporting, nor will you stay with him. He can't get that from his mother.
 

StillOne

Well-known member
I share the Mars tipped yod with you. Mine is in Taurus as well. However, Mine is in the 10th house and gets a square from Jupiter and it's also retrograde. I also have a Moon that's in the 12th house. I've isolated myself pretty good here lately but it's been an incubation period for restructuring my life and I'm now slowly coming out of my shell. I've had to break things down and rebuild. That has included analyzing everything and deeming what's been good and bad for me thus far. I'm two years older than you.

As an aside, I also have 2 other yods in my chart, and a drastically different chart to yours. I'm just saying that what I'm doing is probably not something you need/should do. Don't try this at home! Lol.

Now I'm not certain, but I do think you know what you need/want to do. Typically a Yod will ask that from you. You mention this, which is very very much descriptive of a Yod imo:

It seems that whenever I do something that's not part of the plan (whatever that may be), along comes fate to slap me down with a vengeance. Something rotten always happens when I try to live the so-called "normal" life. Fate wants me to be weird! LOL I believe that, for me, free will exists, but I am punished for using it. I don't assume to know about the extent of others' free will, I just know about me.

A Yod is known as the Finger of God. It is also known as the Finger of Fate. There's no avoiding it's calling and the sooner you embrace it the better as it'll illuminate your destiny.

Now Waybread certainly pointed out some good things. It's funny cause she was describing me! I do yoga. I meditate. I have 8 bonsai.

Your yod, since it's in a cadent house, may be a little bit more under cover than mine in the 10th house. I would research Mars in the 9th house Taurus and see if any bells start ringing and let us know what you think. Yods are highly personal, no one will be able to exactly tell you what yours means since it's something that comes from within.
 
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Moonwind

Active member
OK.... I've been successfully married to the woman of my dreams for 40+ years. We've gone through a lot together, with difficult(white coat kids like you) and other things.

What a relationship IS, is mutual emotional support and self esteem boosting. In the end, everything goes away but this. If you don't want this, then you really don't want a relationship, imo. I was attracted to my wife because she was hot forty years ago(and it was also the micro-mini skirt era), but it was this emotional support part that drew me to seeing her as a life partner within the first 10 minutes of the first date. And its that mutual caring that keeps us together 40 years later.

IMO, every guy you connect with is really looking for a life partner. And unless you are another conquest in his one-night stand lifestyle, he will not stay with you if you are not emotionally supporting, nor will you stay with him. He can't get that from his mother.

Dude, I said I don't want a serious relationship. I tried that and failed. Why? Because I HATE to share space with other people for much longer than a few hours. I am, at my very core, a loner. I still regret that relationship because I tried to force myself to be something I'm not. I am not, nor will I ever be, spousal material. I feel suffocated in that type of situation. I NEED a lot of me-time. I like friends with benefits!
 

Moonwind

Active member
I share the Mars tipped yod with you. Mine is in Taurus as well. However, Mine is in the 10th house and gets a square from Jupiter and it's also retrograde. I also have a Moon that's in the 12th house. I've isolated myself pretty good here lately but it's been an incubation period for restructuring my life and I'm now slowly coming out of my shell. I've had to break things down and rebuild. That has included analyzing everything and deeming what's been good and bad for me thus far. I'm two years older than you.

As an aside, I also have 2 other yods in my chart, and a drastically different chart to yours. I'm just saying that what I'm doing is probably not something you need/should do. Don't try this at home! Lol.

Now I'm not certain, but I do think you know what you need/want to do. Typically a Yod will ask that from you. You mention this, which is very very much descriptive of a Yod imo:



A Yod is known as the Finger of God. It is also known as the Finger of Fate. There's no avoiding it's calling and the sooner you embrace it the better as it'll illuminate your destiny.

Now Waybread certainly pointed out some good things. It's funny cause she was describing me! I do yoga. I meditate. I have 8 bonsai.

Your yod, since it's in a cadent house, may be a little bit more under cover than mine in the 10th house. I would research Mars in the 9th house Taurus and see if any bells start ringing and let us know what you think. Yods are highly personal, no one will be able to exactly tell you what yours means since it's something that comes from within.

All of this Yod stuff is very fascinating. I only know what I've been reading on the internet. I have always studied with Parker's Astrology, and I don't recall them being mentioned in there. This is interesting.
 

StillOne

Well-known member
All of this Yod stuff is very fascinating. I only know what I've been reading on the internet. I have always studied with Parker's Astrology, and I don't recall them being mentioned in there. This is interesting.

Indeed, and... well of course a Mars apex yod could also be highly sexual. Especially if it receives energy from Pluto and Neptune... :whistling:
 

Moonwind

Active member
Indeed, and... well of course a Mars apex yod could also be highly sexual. Especially if it receives energy from Pluto and Neptune... :whistling:

LOL Yeah. It's like a curse for me because I have fears of losing control (plus the social anxiety), so I abstain. My mother was/is a very sexual person (venus in scorpio). In fact, many of the women in my family are like that. There's this running joke about The Johnson Girls. :biggrin:
 

Zarathu

Account Closed
Are you sure that your birth time is EXACTLY 9:00 AM?

Almost nobody is born at the exact hour. I guess with your relationship with your mother it would be impossible to ask her. This means that it was rounded up or down from as much as 8:40 to 9:20. This could make a huge difference in the chart, and especially a big difference in the progressions, which in my opinion, we need to see, to look at the impact of your current challenges.
 

Moonwind

Active member
Are you sure that your birth time is EXACTLY 9:00 AM?

Almost nobody is born at the exact hour. I guess with your relationship with your mother it would be impossible to ask her. This means that it was rounded up or down from as much as 8:40 to 9:20. This could make a huge difference in the chart, and especially a big difference in the progressions, which in my opinion, we need to see, to look at the impact of your current challenges.

Yes, I was born at exactly 9AM, give or take a few seconds. This is what is on my birth certificate and my mother confirmed this.

Thousands of people are born every minute, so a great deal of people are born at the exact hour.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Moonwind, if you do have a mental health condition, I hope you are getting good treatment for it. Otherwise, I will simply look at your posts as a person without a mental illness.

You have quite a set of narratives (soap opera?) about yourself! Probably what comes of Mercury square moon-Pluto. But these are just narratives. If you were to write down a strictly objective factual account of what happens to you, you would write it without the drama of "fate" slapping you down, your plants all dying, and so on.

For heaven's sake! Who defines what is "normal"!? My definition of normal is probably radically different from yours.

Keep the facts of your life-- they're yours. But change the story and you change your destiny.

Notice how your negativity isn't even consistent with my suggestions. You are such an idealistic person at heart. But you use this to blame yourself and everyone else for not living up to your standards. Why not look at reality as-is?

Notice how I suggested ways in which you might actually help women in need. But you shift from how you might contribute something in your life to your own "issues." If you work on a phone hot line, you don't even see the women who phone in, let alone hug them. Why would they even want you to touch them? I am not saying this is the only constructive use of that moon-Pluto, but have you got a better one? Why not work at fixing "the root of the problem."

Mars in Taurus in the 9th does not you a warrior make. I can't imagine where you read that. But everybody's got a Mars somewhere. How do you express yours?

It sounds as though you have a true commitment to being unhappy. What does unhappiness justify in your life? Staying home unemployed?

Time to take the energy off yourself and look at how you could contribute to people less fortunate than yourself. Or look forward to more of the same. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking.....
 
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