Hi Katydid!
I can see where your coming from but any doubt/fears I may have is never spilled over into my children. I don't parent that way, they are clean slates with their own experiences and don't live thru mine.
My main concern is her emotional intelligence and learning positive coping mechanisms to deal with her innate characteristic traits since she is very in tune emotionally and has such strong convictions at this young of an age.
Individuals whom have such strong emotional attributes tend to not be able to control themselves and end up in awful situations. I just don't want such for my baby girl.
But I appreciate the advice!
That would be wonderful to think that our doubts and fears, as parents, would never spill over onto our children...
But it doesn't usually work that way.
Whether we intend it to happen or not, our kids soak up our doubts and fears.
I say this with your girl's chart in mind. She knows how much you love and cherish her. It is not a question of you not being a great mom.
Astrologically speaking, your daughter has indications that she may go through some issues, with how she deals with her 'parental units.' [ as my kids referred to us when they were young teens.]
There are 3 main indicators of a native having issues with their parents. Seen in Moon, 4th house and sign of Cancer. And your girl has Mars in Cancer, in 4th house and opposing the Moon.
I think that when she is from 12 to 15, she may go through a tough phase. In that time span, she might feel like her family 'does not get her' ---does not understand what she is feeling or trying to say.
She may have some internalized anger at that time, incorrectly seeing you or dad as her 'frenemies' and thinking you are too controlling or too out of touch.
I could be totally wrong. I am just giving you a potential heads up. I think it will just be a phase--although a potentially turbulent one.
Even if she rebels and asks for 'some freakin space' at that time---that is not what she really wants or requires. I think she wants to know there is total unconditional love, even if she messes up or disappoints others.
I think she might make some poor choices, and do so impulsively but with good intentions. You may have some sleepless night during her early teen years. But the good news is that our kids mature and evolve. And they end up better and stronger than us in the end.