Are you a worrier?

Do you dread things. I have this problem. I dread things and its all to do with hesitancy and not taking action and dwelling on things and letting my mind wander on what could go wrong. I wish I was more laid back and assertive when needed. I attribute this to my asc in virgo conjunct pluto and mercury in libra dithering and overthinking. Plus at the moment I am having tr rx saturn conjunct my mercury. Thinking small, feeling cornered, vulnerable. I hate it. Hopefully tr mars in my 1st house now will help. When I do get on the phone and speak to people it all goes away to an extent.Just wondered where that dread comes from. Probably something to do with fear and wanting to be in control, and being a cynical old tired woman lol. Possibly saturn in 5th natally and problem with self expression? Its like I worry and make problems for myself when there are none. Sorry for the rant, had a bad day and I strive to be positive and pep talk myself so much.

I know this sounds simplistic, and maybe it is...

But observe what you are doing. First, you worry about whatever it is. And then you fret over the worrying. The next step of course is freaking out over the fretting. Then you can go totally bonkers over the freaking out.

Here is a simple exercise. Pick up a book. Hold it in one hand. Let go of it, let it fall.

Do that.

Good.

Now. What did you have to do in order to let go of the book?
Isn't letting go simple?
All you did was relax. And the book slipped right out of your hands, and was gone.
Letting go psychologically is almost as easy, once you let go of the idea that you must hang on, must "solve" the problem, must fight to overcome worrying about worrying about worrying....

A long time ago I fell into a raging river, and the powerful current sucked me right under. I instantly realized that there was no way I was going to win by fighting that powerful current, so what I did was simply relax every muscle in my body and let the water do what it would. By relaxing I conserved my energy and my air; and finally, after what seemed the longest time, getting close now to my limit, the water released me and I swam to the surface.

Let go. Drop the book, let the current take you.

Pluto in Virgo? Gosh, you are old enough...it's time to figure this out. What you've been doing for the past 40 or 50 years doesn't seem to be working. How do we change such deeply ingrained patterns?

Hmm. We can't change our nature.
We can't change our fate or destiny, certainly not in its broad strokes.
But we can change our point-of-view, our perspective, our orientation, our attitude. And that is very easy to change. It requires almost no effort. It is essentially a matter of choice, of seeing that there are other ways to look at things.
And by changing our point of view, all the rest of that nonsense changes by itself.

I am 70 years old. I did not learn this by reading a book. I lived it, discovered it, and put it to work in my own life. Not only did this change my interior life, but the external changed as well...for the better, I might add.

Nowadays, in almost every single thing I encounter in life, I ask myself...."Am I working under unrealistic expectations?" When I see that I am, I change the way I approach the situation, my point-of-view or attitude. Saves a lot of time, energy and chewed-off fingernails.

If we look at your chart, there are two things I notice right away.

1. Pluto conjunct Ascendant in Virgo
2. Mercury, lord of Virgo, in Libra.

Indecisiveness leads to lack of action. Lack of action leads to self-criticism, worry, and becomes compulsive. And so you find yourself on that wretched merry-go-round that never stops.

Now Mercury in Libra is an "essential" position....it is a "sign" position, and that shows that your mind has the essential nature of Libra, and that cannot be changed. It is of your essence, it is your inborn nature. So there you are. You can't change that.

But you can change the way you look at it.

The root of your worry is fear. This tells me you have no faith in the bountiful and protective nature of Providence. Faith alone can kill fear. You are trapped by the idea that you can and should "control" your life. When I fell in the river, I surrendered. I abandoned any attempt at control, and that is what saved my life.

I hope you don't die worrying about whether or not your burial will be well-attended.

I get so worried and obsessed that it drives me to anxiety/paranoia at times.

Problem is if you are TOO introspective then you begin to have these problems. Thinking too much is very bad. The easiest way not to think and over analyze is to have things going on in your life (a job, projects, friends, lover, family, sports, whatver)...

I too worry much and have Virgo rising and Saturn ruling my fifth house. I also have Moon square Saturn as well as Pluto and contribute some of it to that as well. My best advice would be to take it one day at a time.

analysis leads to freaking out, to emma

emma,

You said:

*emma* said:

I dread things and its all to do with hesitancy and not taking action and dwelling on things and letting my mind wander on what could go wrong...I attribute this to my asc in virgo conjunct pluto and mercury in libra dithering and overthinking. Plus at the moment I am having tr rx saturn conjunct my mercury. Thinking small, feeling cornered, vulnerable...When I do get on the phone and speak to people it all goes away to an extent.Just wondered where that dread comes from.

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I think you are right that it has to do with all that Virgo and with Saturn on top of it. As you mention, when you DO something you calm down. Analysis is OK...but if that's all you do, the next step is freaking out. Instead, maybe try meditation and letting go. Here's an oldie but a goodie:
Grant me the strength to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Now say that out loud fifty thousand times...

Chilling out,

Tim

Greybeard thanks so very very much, Ive thought of your post all day long, of course not whilst I was taking action! You got to the bottom line, you know it, I know it, I am still in some years long process of sorting it out and think I am almost at end stage, when you have thought of everythingand tried alot then one day you say sod this, what a bunch of nonsense, I am going to take charge, its getting me nowhere and life is not supposed to be like that. I am going to start saying what I think myself instead of listening to the mind chatter,and to others without thinking for myself, tolerating it is such a waste of time. Having faith in oneself and life I agree is such a lifter. Things your mind and heart understand and learn and are great and liberating short term, then you go one step back, and revert to same problem, guess it hasnt crystallised enough. Perhaps to do with transits, it takes time.

Tim, how clearly put, as always, again thank you for your help. You reminded me of my dad when he asked me a simple question and I was thinking and erming and he said, it doesnt require thought! the more analysing you do on things that dont need analysing the more you work yourself up. And we all know how wrong our thougts can be and how the mind plays tricks.
Capgodess and retinoid, it is about relaxing and chilling out, having virgo and saturn is excellent placement for analysis but only when required, not as some robotic mode to live in. They can be a downer if not balanced with the uppity parts of our charts. Having said that those kind of placements put us off balance if we sit on things we need to do and are not doing them, kind of a guilt anxiety thing about people who worry abiut fulfilling responsibilities. Good luck, as greybeard said its easy to chose how you want to feel. Sorry for the little bit jumbled ramble. I can talk too much sometimes. Last point to make, Ive learnt the world and others is not against you so fear is much just in the mind. Thanks everyone I feel better and more able take the bullby the horns, gently of course LOL its often the best way.

ps greybeard I wont be giving a stuff about my funeral arrangements, Moon in Sagitarius in 4th conjunct Jupiter, wont mind going whenever and however when my work here is done whatever that is

Chill Pill for everyone and this thread reminded me of that song, was it bob marley? dont worry about a thing cos everythings gonna be alright

Everything IS alright...It's just the way it's supposed to be at this very moment. Wag your tail.

Yes I'm a worrier at times. I get anxious thinking of conflict (but I won't back down from it if it arises). I have Gemini rising conjunct Mars in Gemini in the 12th, but also a Virgo IC that's conjunct...something. I forget, but it's major. I see a LOT of Virgo traits in myself. Can't wait to get to that Pisces moment! From selfless to selfish (in a different way) from delivering to being receptive. From helping others by service to helping others through faith and emotion. Sounds so much more relaxing. From worrying to trusting.

CapGoddess said:

I too worry much and have Virgo rising and Saturn ruling my fifth house. I also have Moon square Saturn as well as Pluto and contribute some of it to that as well. My best advice would be to take it one day at a time.

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I'm with CapGoddess and I take Greybeard's prescription. I have Virgo rising, Moon conjunct Pluto, Saturn and Mars. Saturn rules the 5th. And letting go is the answer, and it feels REALLY good to do it. I promise you!

Letting go for some people is much harder than others. It is easy to let go in your conscious head. But then there's that 2nd voice, the one from deep down. It's not a voice, but a feeling. THAT is what brings the worry back. Think of it like this, you are imagining yourself walking, then you decide you want to run. You run, but then it almost instantly stops and you are forced to walk. That is that deep down 'feeling' you get. Once you are able to free yourself from the scrambled thoughts, you will gain control.

It's like a harddrive, there are many wires and disks.
If you have them improperly connected, you get corrupted data, problems reading the data, etc..
If you take the time to fix those wires, one by one, allowing the data to be transferred correctly. It can take years, but the result will surely be worth it. Only then, will you feel at peace.

I am still walking on my path of correction. I haven't gotten far but the results have already started showing up. I have never felt so mentally at peace (Sometimes, for now)

Yep.

It'd be nice to see more charts in this thread. Or are we too worried to.

Worrying and being indecisive takes up too much of my energy these days: job, family, health, who is p.o'd at me now? lol

Greybeard, you are so right! ...
"Indecisiveness leads to lack of action. Lack of action leads to self-criticism, worry, and becomes compulsive. And so you find yourself on that wretched merry-go-round that never stops."

It is hard to get off that train! Maybe my natural worry ability manifests from being so heavy with water signs, too introspective. I need more Earth or Air... like my Saturn in Aquarius... or something. Love to figure out how to turn that switch on.

There is no easy answer to "worry" and "anxiety." Things often come into our mind unbidden. What I found worked for me was that each time I noticed that I was worrying,I would think..."This interferes with living in the Now, and is not productive." Then I would shift my attention to something immediate...doing something (work, activity outside the self) helps here. If you just keep trying (without that worry (self-criticism) about worrying), then over time the worry will diminish if not disappear.

For example, at the present -- and during the past year and a half -- my grown daughter has been going through some rather serious life-problems. I have tried to help her, to call her attention to solutions, and so on... to no avail. She had been causing me deep concern (she's my daughter and I want her to be happy and live with wisdom....). The other day I said to myself "No more. It's her life and, like me and everyone else in this boat, she has to live it on her own the best she can." I am done worrying about her.

I simply cannot do anything about it. It is out of my hands, beyond my powers. Therefore, it is foolish to spend my precious energy worrying about it all. "Not my will, but thine be done." It's that simple. Let the Higher Power do the worrying. Enjoy this moment. And with consistent practice you can teach yourself to do that.

If you try, and fail....just keep trying. Sometimes it takes a "Eureka Moment" to reach the goal, and it seems we will never succeed... but then the Eureka comes along and in an instant we have passed the barrier to happiness and left it behind us.

I was on the swimming team in high school. Workouts were exhausting and painful. The coach set personal goals for each of us. And we would work, and work, and work...with absolutely no progress. The frustration was killing. But then very suddenly, in just one day, we would not only reach the goal that had seemed so out of reach, but pass it by. Never to return to the old slower time. We were on a new plateau, ready to set a new goal and new challenge.... And then came more pain and more frustration. But -- we would very suddenly pass the new goal and strive to reach an even higher one. "Quantum Leaps" in body and mind. Learning that as a swimmer has helped me face "defeat" and "frustration" throughout my life. Persistence makes us winners, in both body and mind.

I had some very serious personal problems with my brother. I was filled with anger at him -- call it fury or rage. And for 5 years I could not keep him out of my head, no matter how hard I tried. I work very hard at not carrying anger around with me. But there it was, and I couldn't defeat it. And then one day a new thought, a simple thought, crossed my mind. I saw the truth that caused my anger. And as if by magic, the anger went away, almost instantly. And what is more, what I learned I now apply to all things in my life, and am at peace. I had to find the key...it took 5 years, but despite all the frustration (at myself, for carrying that deep burning fury within me) I never quit trying. And when I did find the key, quite by accident as it seemed, the anger disappeared almost overnight. (It was not by accident; it was because I kept on trying and the Grace of God put the key in my hand.)

Astrology is a very powerful tool for understanding, both of the self and of the universe. But it is not a magic pill that will cure all our ills and take the tears away. There is no substitute for living life. Living is the only way home. Life is full of pain and frustration and tears... But these things are not only necessary, they are vital to our growth and fulfillment.

We impose our desires, our hates and our loves, on life. In other words, we create delusion that blinds us to reality. If we want to live a life full of beauty and love and wonder, if we want to become fully ourselves, we must discard the delusion and look reality square in the face. For as long as I try to make life what I want it to be, rather than face it just as it is...for that long I will live in the chains of the slave and the darkness of the blind.

I worry.

Its nice to think that you think you can find remedies for this.

Im much better now than I used to be. Actually after going through some major life events I realise my strengths. I meditate a lot and actually that is easier for me to do that others may find(cos of my chart)

However my innate behaviour is a worrier - its actually what makes me do stuff and take action.

I have planets in 4th. jupiter in cancer. planets in 4th opposite uranus/pluto conj in virgo in 10th.

Are you a worrier?

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Cancer Sun/ Virgo Asc / Saturn in the 10th/ Capricorn Ruling the 5th

Yep. Indeed.