Job hell. Will it end?

I posted this on a different thread, but was encouraged to post on this thread. I hope the question is clear and the chart is done correctly.

BACKGRoUND
My current situation at work is INSANE. Yes, I am taking steps to move, but it is going to take some time. I am in my 50's trying to change careers. This doesn't happen overnight. I was suffering from severe depression. I am only now coming out of it and starting to feel I have some strength and feel good about myself to even look for a job.

SITUATION
At the beginning of the year or the latter of half of 2019 my position was moved to another department. This was not discussed with me prior to it happening. Now that it has been moved no one seems to be clear on what that means. Again left out of the conversations happening at the senior level. I am learning to be better about boundaries and I have clearly stated nothing about this is ok, but I am still too nice, have a hard time accessing my anger, and deep down I know I haven't performed to my best ability. I have really struggled in this job for many reasons HOWEVER this situation not ok. My boss I can't figure him out. He plays the victim "I don't know what is going on either" " I don't know why you are not at these meetings." He then goes on a rant about the dysfunction of the organization. He isn't wrong, but at this point it feels like deflection of talking about the issue. My hunch he doesn't really want me on his team or want to deal with the whole thing. We met on Friday again about this and I was asked to revise my JD. I did and sent it with my list of questions he couldn't answer and cc'd his boss. Don't care at this point. If he can't answer it, she should. I don't trust him. I have caught him in one too many bold faced lies. He is a clever man and my sense, manipulative. I have spent far too much time coming up reasons this isn't true so now I am listening to my gut. I remain professional, but that is it. I am done. HOWEVER, showing up at a place where I feel disrespected, not valued and basically not wanted takes an enormous amount of strength. I am finally feeling angry vs poor me,but still it is a lot. I am doing the work.I have therapist and coach and taking steps, but it is going to take some time. Not to mention moving back to the States is expensive and am living paycheck to paycheck. IS there anything in my chart that shows some relief? Where are bosses in the chart. I've never experienced this. The plus it drove me to explore boundary work and realized I am a bit of a doormat so working on it, but change doesn't happen overnight. Any insight to some relief.

CaprLibraSquared said:

I posted this on a different thread, but was encouraged to post on this thread. I hope the question is clear and the chart is done correctly.

BACKGRoUND
My current situation at work is INSANE. Yes, I am taking steps to move, but it is going to take some time. I am in my 50's trying to change careers. This doesn't happen overnight. I was suffering from severe depression. I am only now coming out of it and starting to feel I have some strength and feel good about myself to even look for a job.

SITUATION
At the beginning of the year or the latter of half of 2019 my position was moved to another department. This was not discussed with me prior to it happening. Now that it has been moved no one seems to be clear on what that means. Again left out of the conversations happening at the senior level. I am learning to be better about boundaries and I have clearly stated nothing about this is ok, but I am still too nice, have a hard time accessing my anger, and deep down I know I haven't performed to my best ability. I have really struggled in this job for many reasons HOWEVER this situation not ok. My boss I can't figure him out. He plays the victim "I don't know what is going on either" " I don't know why you are not at these meetings." He then goes on a rant about the dysfunction of the organization. He isn't wrong, but at this point it feels like deflection of talking about the issue. My hunch he doesn't really want me on his team or want to deal with the whole thing. We met on Friday again about this and I was asked to revise my JD. I did and sent it with my list of questions he couldn't answer and cc'd his boss. Don't care at this point. If he can't answer it, she should. I don't trust him. I have caught him in one too many bold faced lies. He is a clever man and my sense, manipulative. I have spent far too much time coming up reasons this isn't true so now I am listening to my gut. I remain professional, but that is it. I am done. HOWEVER, showing up at a place where I feel disrespected, not valued and basically not wanted takes an enormous amount of strength. I am finally feeling angry vs poor me,but still it is a lot. I am doing the work.I have therapist and coach and taking steps, but it is going to take some time. Not to mention moving back to the States is expensive and am living paycheck to paycheck. IS there anything in my chart that shows some relief? Where are bosses in the chart. I've never experienced this. The plus it drove me to explore boundary work and realized I am a bit of a doormat so working on it, but change doesn't happen overnight. Any insight to some relief.

Click to expand...

hello CaprLibraSquared
so let me understand..what you basically asked is whether the situation at your job will improve for you, the way others (your boss or someone else that has power over you) treat/see you or something else? if they are going to change their attitude towards you? did you have a specific person on your mind the moment you ask? your boss or someone else?
i am asking cause in case you aren't experienced with horary questions, horary is very specific so we have to be certain what exactly you seek to find out and the way you asked..cause the phrase "job hell.will it end?" it's a bit general and then you mentioned also that you are thinking of quitting this job..changing your career...are you asking whether professionally things will turn out better for you?is this perhaps a disguised " should i leave this job" question?

Thank you for the response. I am not super familiar with Horary. I posted here as it was recommended, but understand that it is a bit general. It has being going on for so long hard to break it down. It is definitely NOT a disguised should I leave this job question. THAT is going to happen this year. It is just going to take some time as I am shifting my focus. So don't see that happening until summer or fall.
I don't really think attitudes toward me are going to change. So I guess the specific ask since there has been so much back and forth and lack of clarity about my current position between the heads of the departments that has been going on since December....Will I get more clarity about my position.

I don't know if that is any better....

CaprLibraSquared said:

Thank you for the response. I am not super familiar with Horary. I posted here as it was recommended, but understand that it is a bit general. It has being going on for so long hard to break it down. It is definitely NOT a disguised should I leave this job question. THAT is going to happen this year. It is just going to take some time as I am shifting my focus. So don't see that happening until summer or fall.
I don't really think attitudes toward me are going to change. So I guess the specific ask since there has been so much back and forth and lack of clarity about my current position between the heads of the departments that has been going on since December....Will I get more clarity about my position.

I don't know if that is any better....

Click to expand...

ok let's give it a try, first of all remember next time you cast a chart to use Regiomontanus, is suitable for horary questions.In the chart you uploaded apparently related cusps are different since you used placidus

So you are saying:
1. that you've already decided to resign from this job but for various reasons, this will take place later this year
2.that there isn't any clarity about your duties in this position and the main reason, as you told us, is the lack of coordination between the heads of several departments.so you asked whether this situation will improve.

fist of all let's see the related sigs.
you are signified from mercury and moon.both your sigs are in a very bad state-weak and in mute signs(literally you don't express your self, you remain mute).mercury is in his detriment and fall under the domicile of pisces and about to enter its first station and turn retrograde in Pisces which is a severe debility, and usually, retrogradation has the meaning of changing our mind over something, return to a previous state, or return back as to finish something that has left unfinished.so sometimes can have also a positive meaning and this depends on the context..as long retrogradation is necessary in order what we asked to happen...will i take my old job back? and the relevant sig(job) turns retrograde and aspects the querent...etc).moon in her fall in Scorpio, cadent where mars joy, and previously passed via combusta, the burning road.the next thing will happen to her is to find sun (l3) your communication translate to saturn and then find mars.so it will turn besieged between mars and saturn, a severe accidental debility.

related to you we also that your l3=daily communication, daily round is in her detriment in aquarious, she is humane (polite) but on the same time is extremely weak essentialy (accidentaly is strengthened by being angular and moreover "blinds" mercury, since mercury under the beams of sun.
mercury being in pisces has a double meaning in this context, since you mentioned it...jupiter signifies not only job's boss but also the resignation-dismissal(pod).so clearly you are thinking leaving this job, while mercury at the moment indifferent to saturn=the job, the same as moon=your co-ruler

Your job(l10) is signified by saturn, essentially dignified (domicile, face) but accidentally weak as cadent , so we could say that this job is good but obviously there are some problems .the job is in moon's detriment, so it harms moon.

Apparently your boss or company's boss must be job's turned l10, this debilitated jupiter who is in his term but fall, and fall is stronger than term and succedent accidentally.So we could say that he is not in a good state either, for the time being he's in his term, so he has some dignity but soon he will lose that.

Then we have also this mars just inside l7 cusp.This mars has power over your job, since saturn and jupiter in his exaltation and he is about to change sign and enter cap his exaltation.Till now this mars was in mercury's detriment, and in mutual reception with this jupiter, but from now on as he enters cap he becomes very powerful will have jupiter in his fall, while moon(your co-ruler) in his detriment and triplicity (but always detriment is stronger).

So the above is one change that you will certainly notice in the forthcoming period and for sure mars entering cap will shift his focus to saturn =the job and will put himself on a pedestal.so there will be changes in that domain and administration issues.

Still i dont think that these changes will have a serious positive impact on your situation, cause neither of your sigs is about to enter in a better state for the time being, mercury is turning retrograde heading to combustion, while moon soon to get besieged.i dont know who this mars is that both your sigs in his dignities(so you are under his power you depend on him, this stands also for jupiter of cource since mercury in jupiter's domicile), while for the moment he is in mercury's detriment(he despises mercury=you) and he's is about to gain more power.is he the boss on your department, is he the boss of another department, but for sure he will gain more power... in the company and his attitude towards jupiter will change, he will have him in his fall, while he will stop being in mercury's (you) detriment. the lack of clarity since December as you said points out mainly to Jupiter, who left his domicile in sag and entered cap his fall, so he became extremely weak to manage administrative duties and take decisions and this situation won't change as long he is there, but this mars entering cap will change the dynamics in the company.

I hope the above will help you get a better understanding of the situation

Thanks for the tip on the chart.I thought it was supposed to be a different format, but I missed it in my quick scan of how to post a chart.
Yes, nice summary of the issue. Thank you so much! Helped me as I spun around - too close to the situation.
TRUTH I struggle expressing myself and have been basically a mute for far too long. I am FAR too nice. The outcome though is I have thrown myself into boundary and assertiveness work. This won't happen again.
Summarize to make sure I understand
1) there is an indifference to the job - which is me.
2) Boss is not in a good state. True he is very frustrated and I think resentful of dealing with mundane managerial tasks. His strength is consulting and advising. He is gaining more credibility in the organization.
3) Jupiter despises Mercury. I got lost here. Is the bosses? I am not clear.
4) If I understand correctly, it doesn't sound clarity is coming any time soon, but there is a power dynamic that will shift?
5) In summary things are not really going to get any better. Status quo..

Again thank .you so much!

CaprLibraSquared said:

Thanks for the tip on the chart.I thought it was supposed to be a different format, but I missed it in my quick scan of how to post a chart.
Yes, nice summary of the issue. Thank you so much! Helped me as I spun around - too close to the situation.
TRUTH I struggle expressing myself and have been basically a mute for far too long. I am FAR too nice. The outcome though is I have thrown myself into boundary and assertiveness work. This won't happen again.
Summarize to make sure I understand
1) there is an indifference to the job - which is me.
2) Boss is not in a good state. True he is very frustrated and I think resentful of dealing with mundane managerial tasks. His strength is consulting and advising. He is gaining more credibility in the organization.
3) Jupiter despises Mercury. I got lost here. Is the bosses? I am not clear.
4) If I understand correctly, it doesn't sound clarity is coming any time soon, but there is a power dynamic that will shift?
5) In summary things are not really going to get any better. Status quo..

Again thank .you so much!

Click to expand...

you're welcome
but let me explain this again..jupiter which is radix 7th seems to be the boss, i didnt say that jupiter despises mercury, i said mars despises mercury and this mars leaves the mr with jupiter and entering cap will have him in his fall, while he no longer have mercury= you in his detriment.Still both jupiter and mars will have moon=your co-ruler in their detriment.So the tricky part in this change is that this mars gains more power over jupiter and starts to despise him.i don't know whether jupiter is the big boss or your boss at your department.mayby is your boss and soon he will get orders from someone who is superior to him? is someone else to take his position?is this mars the head of another department? you should know better.yet the clarity you seek mayby not succeeded, cause the new situation will change the dynamics in the company and for sure tension to jupiter, which is already in a bad state and soon get worse.Mars in a double bodied sign in sag, could speak of more than one person.I dont know how many bosses are in this company..so is this mars one person, more than one? but Jupiter certainly is also a boss, maybe your boss to be more specific.

Moreover, in order to say that these changes would have a positive impact on you we should have seen mercury and moon entering a better state and unfortunately, this won't happen any time soon, in fact, things are getting worse for you, unless this retrogradation is something you seek, perhaps returning to your old position, department...whatever.
Still i would advise you to remain calm as you can and focus on your job for the time being, since you're extremely weak and not in a position to make drastic changes or judge clearly.your state of mind is not good
when you are ready to leave this job, as you said, perhaps if you feel so you could make a separate question whether this would be beneficial to you or else.
i wish you all the best

Ah! Perfect! thank you so much. I appreciate your time. There are indeed MANY bosses and those who assume that role -despite not having the formal title- in my organization. It is has 375 employees. anyway, that helps and will continue to do the work to move on and not get too caught up in the negativity of it all. I will consider posting another question about timing, but thought horary was fairly immediate and I don't see making the shift until summer/fall.

I thought of this thread as yesterday a colleague asked me what I thought about our boss' leadership style. Apparently she is extremely frustrated by his lack of leadership and wants to raise to the head of the department. So indeed maybe there is more going with his job than I know.

well this is not surprising at all considering this chart.I told you that you have to expect this happening, so try to keep a low profile and don't get caught among their disputes