Random Thoughts, strictly Text

The way he spoke about his family reminded me of when little children would huddle around to watch a tv show with an ensemble cast, and there would be one kid who would always see himself as the main character, and his crush would be the closest female character to the main guy.

conspiracy theorist said:

David, what would you say was the "magnum opus" of the age of Sagittarius? And for that matter the age of Capricorn. I get the sense from your philosophy that there isn't much redemption involved in a Saturnine age.

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Visionary, Greco-Roman astrology and philosophy for the Age of Sagittarius.

Electricity and electronics for the Age of Capricorn, although fusion power replacing oil, coal and fission plants will be a crowning achievement. Explosives, aircrafts and missiles for use in war, are its main disgrace.

The angel of death Kamael is attributed to the sepiroth Geburah in the hermetic kabbalah. Do you think there is a divinly just space for bloodshed and destruction? Is it your opinion that all carnage is anti-creation?

passiflora said:

David, your generator is diesel?

Ukpoohbear you’re exactly right, my problem is there wasn’t an ethics. And i get a little annoyed when inside and outside are equated with down and up lol.

Warriors are interesting. Most ancient warriors have internal codes of ethics, but not sure about ethics of who you fight for. Not sure how that plays out in modern.

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My friend Janne is an old soul warrior type. He’s been a psychopath before. The way he describes it like is Michael will use any type of soul for God’s work, so even a seemingly lost and karmicslly damaged warrior psychopath could be useful for exacting revenge on another’s psychopath who needed stopping. He still lives with the consequences of being such a good warrior, he carries around a shadow that scares people away and he is very lonely but he has learnt his lessons well.

He thinks I’m an ancient warrior who made a mistake and it sent me on lifetimes of having to pay for that. I had a past life memory where I killed a witch because I thought it was the right thing to do but Janne said the person I killed just because they did black magic was maybe on a mission from god and I had to pay the ultimate price.

Although I agree killing the witch was a very young soul, impetuous thing to do and I had to pay for my sins, I think I’m an older soul than him and his ego prevents him from giving anyone the bigger sword. I think there’s a possibility I’ve been reincarnating as a warrior of Michael for centuries and I’m basically an old soul, older than him. I could be wrong, but at least I’m open to being wrong.

conspiracy theorist said:

The angel of death Kamael is attributed to the sepiroth Geburah in the hermetic kabbalah. Do you think there is a divinly just space for bloodshed and destruction? Is it your opinion that all carnage is anti-creation?

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Imagine that an ancient rat/spider race decided to emprison millions of souls within a system that these rats/spiders could use to feed of the other souls. I doubt that anyone would just be able to forgive and "move on" without any karmic balance. I think a much more heavy hand would be needed in a "case scenario" like that and it would be judged as just (and even kind like Jupiteras likes to say ).

Y

SunConjunctUranus said:

So basically, your intuition leads you to help others through Saturn's help? Yes, Saturn, which is an avatar who even eats his own children? That is truly not the way to give love to others, but rather plunging people to worship the black stone in the whore of Babylon. And that avatar will be the main antagonist in the final eschatology of the people who are always stand with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Deus Vult!

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More like... my intuition is guiding me to embrace the qualities associated with Saturn such as restriction, discipline, temperance, and self control


contrary to what a being like myself given to impulse and unruliness is inclined to think, true freedom can only be attained through balancing out the reckless self with discipline


otherwise it's like intense, frenetic energy going in any and every direction is chooses, but with this balance, it's like you're choosing where to direct your intense energies and where not to. Therefore, more powerful, able to make your visions become a reality

Ukpoohbear said:

I’m so glad you’re back Lykan. I’m really grateful for the friends I’ve met on this forum and you’re one of them. You’re full of charisma plus I like that you already have a good balance between the light and dark a powerful badass who is NICE. Life is hard but it sure helps when you discover the general pattern/rule/meaning behind it all.

I was reading a website called the Michael teachings. It talks about different soul ages. Mature souls and old souls are the two oldest types, I think I may be a mature soul because they’re concerned with relationship karma but then I read about old souls and one of the symptoms is feeling tired (I can remember saying to a psychiatric nurse when I was in hospital for a month when I was 17 that I would be happy to go straight from here to an old folks home) but it also said old souls don’t reach old soul status until the 35 year mark and pass through the other levels themes before then. That makes sense why I ‘died’ when I was at school age and appreciated death from an age that usually old people usually only start thinking about (my english teacher told me that,) which makes me think I will soon transcend my obsession with relationships and be primarily concerned with worldly affairs from then on. OR I could be a mature soul but if I’m a mature soul then that means you feel even more tired by the time you’re an old soul! The thought of that is hard to handle because I’m very tired, so I think I’m an old soul. I’ve considered it’s wishful thinking but I certainly am not concerned with achieving or learning anything outside of my own mind, another sign of an old soul.

Sound familiar? Because you’re already clued up on spiritual matters and are a bit younger than me, so I’m guessing you’re the same. Sure, it feels a bit like a medal but only 5%, 95% it’s just a relief that the pain has a path, a purpose, there is a purpose to this pain. It’s like fighting in the dark and being given a light bulb, or a generator and battery chargers to navigate with.

I must add that there is no hierarchy to them though, a young soul concerned with achieving power and status is as powerful as any. I mean, it depends when you came into existence and a soul born in April is not any better than a soul born in September right?

There is a purpose! Light and consciousness exist! Just the relief is enough. But yeah, surely I’m an old soul because this **** is tiring.

Anyway, I could read your words all day. You’re gonna inspire a **** ton of people with your words that speak truth so beautifully. My writing lacks a certain Venusian flair that yours has, I think I’m a better orator than a writer.

There are also soul types. I think I’m a sage because sages are the performers. I think you’re the artisan. So you’ll be an artisan old soul and I would be a sage old soul.

CT, passiflora and David starling are the scholars. They like to learn and are very knowledgable.

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I'm still learning about light and darkness because I recognize a darkness in myself. I've been contemplating lately if I need to expel it from myself, or if instead, the being I'm supposed to become will have control of both light and dark forces calling upon both when necessary and in the ways that are warranted

Last full moon really brought out the beast in me. I would truly call that energy bestial and primal. It was very dark and I carried something destructive with me for a few days. I talked with some psychic friend who told me they definitely felt like the veil had thinned. Spirits were very active that during that full moon. I took it as a test and I was able to feel that dark energy and not act on it, but control and channel it. Not to get all NSFW, but those nights will be the absolute best ones for sex. I stg, I could've gone all night long with some incredibly intense sex!
But alas, I'm holding out for my soulmate. I know who she is, the time just isn't right

As far as soul ages, I haven't the slightest clue how old my soul is. And really, I believe we're all from a myriad of places around the cosmos and we all could be millions... billions... trillions of years old. But that's just my belief system

I will say I thought about death intensively from as far back as I can remember. As a small, small little bean I was fascinated with death as well as many 'macabre' subjects in general. and of course, I've had my myriad of near death experiences including as a baby

I think regardless of whether we'd be considered mature of old souls, we can feel our soul's grander truths, our inner guidance, intuition leading us

I will say sometimes I'm very inclined to feel tired and exasperated and especially feeling misplaced in this world, but if I feel things like that, I reframe my mind. I try to remember the childlike wonder I've had in me, my intense curiosity, my raw desire to experience and explore and discover. A part of me is like an ancient soul looking over the entire universe, and the other part of me is like an eternal child. I prefer the child, but the ancient soul has her place as well

Btw, one thing I've learned over just the past 2 months is that we can transform ourselves into whatever we want to. This world makes us think we have to struggle through self limiting beliefs, anxieties, addictions, and whatever other things are holding us back, but it's as easy as realizing that we're the only ones who can give these things power over us. When I finally broke ties with my addiction once and for all, it was as easy as taking that power in one swift, effortless move. They'll tell us that once you're an addict, you're always an addict, but that's not true. We're not stuck with anything, we can change anything and become whoever we need to be

We can release lifelong anxieties and selflimiting beliefs in days, maybe weeks, but it never has to be years unless we choose to let it linger there for years. I wish I'd known that before because then I would've realized all of what plagued me I could've dropped a long time ago, but I suppose I had to struggle through it all to finally see through the illusion

As far as writing. Thank you for that compliment on my style I appreciate that. I'm very much shifting gears atm. I'll always be a writer and especially a poet, but there are also other things I want to do. I know I talked about them already. I'm veering into music and also pushing the boundaries of language to the point of reaching down to the core and creating something new

I'm not at all sure what I'm gonna be. Things are gonna be changing a lot for me this next year because I've finally reached the point where I'm ready to turn myself into who I want to be and do the things I've always wanted to

I realize I have a throat chakra block. I need to clear it. I'll be using my voice a lot more in my life as I move forward and it'll play a major role for me I believe. I'm not a gifted orator at all, but I think I have the potential at least. Just like you have the potential to be the writer you want to be



Looking at the soul types, I relate to them all actually. I'd say I'm every soul type

I'm the Shaman, the Server, the Warrior, the Artisan, the Sage, the Scholar, the Priest, and the King(or even higher, the Queen)

Lykanized said:

I'm the Shaman, the Server, the Warrior, the Artisan, the Sage, the Scholar, the Priest, and the King(or even higher, the Queen)

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Major reason why it's hard to trump astrology, if you're going for a "typology". The finality of being represented by one's time and place at birth vs. what one relates to, which can be anything depending on where in your life-cycle you find yourself.

I know of a similar kind of typology that uses Jungian archetypes - that one has things like the "child", "magician" etc. A quick google search could unearth it, but I'm not even motivated to do that. But even with is, I've at least encountered some of the books written by followers of Jung's archetypes, and they outline a possibility to conjure up in oneself the untapped archetype when in a rut or when the stage of life calls for it. I'm thinking of "The Hero Within" by Carol S. Pearson as one such example.

Lykanized said:

I'm still learning about light and darkness because I recognize a darkness in myself. I've been contemplating lately if I need to expel it from myself, or if instead, the being I'm supposed to become will have control of both light and dark forces calling upon both when necessary and in the ways that are warranted

Last full moon really brought out the beast in me. I would truly call that energy bestial and primal. It was very dark and I carried something destructive with me for a few days. I talked with some psychic friend who told me they definitely felt like the veil had thinned. Spirits were very active that during that full moon. I took it as a test and I was able to feel that dark energy and not act on it, but control and channel it. Not to get all NSFW, but those nights will be the absolute best ones for sex. I stg, I could've gone all night long with some incredibly intense sex!
But alas, I'm holding out for my soulmate. I know who she is, the time just isn't right

As far as soul ages, I haven't the slightest clue how old my soul is. And really, I believe we're all from a myriad of places around the cosmos and we all could be millions... billions... trillions of years old. But that's just my belief system

I will say I thought about death intensively from as far back as I can remember. As a small, small little bean I was fascinated with death as well as many 'macabre' subjects in general. and of course, I've had my myriad of near death experiences including as a baby

I think regardless of whether we'd be considered mature of old souls, we can feel our soul's grander truths, our inner guidance, intuition leading us

I will say sometimes I'm very inclined to feel tired and exasperated and especially feeling misplaced in this world, but if I feel things like that, I reframe my mind. I try to remember the childlike wonder I've had in me, my intense curiosity, my raw desire to experience and explore and discover. A part of me is like an ancient soul looking over the entire universe, and the other part of me is like an eternal child. I prefer the child, but the ancient soul has her place as well

Btw, one thing I've learned over just the past 2 months is that we can transform ourselves into whatever we want to. This world makes us think we have to struggle through self limiting beliefs, anxieties, addictions, and whatever other things are holding us back, but it's as easy as realizing that we're the only ones who can give these things power over us. When I finally broke ties with my addiction once and for all, it was as easy as taking that power in one swift, effortless move. They'll tell us that once you're an addict, you're always an addict, but that's not true. We're not stuck with anything, we can change anything and become whoever we need to be

We can release lifelong anxieties and selflimiting beliefs in days, maybe weeks, but it never has to be years unless we choose to let it linger there for years. I wish I'd known that before because then I would've realized all of what plagued me I could've dropped a long time ago, but I suppose I had to struggle through it all to finally see through the illusion

As far as writing. Thank you for that compliment on my style I appreciate that. I'm very much shifting gears atm. I'll always be a writer and especially a poet, but there are also other things I want to do. I know I talked about them already. I'm veering into music and also pushing the boundaries of language to the point of reaching down to the core and creating something new

I'm not at all sure what I'm gonna be. Things are gonna be changing a lot for me this next year because I've finally reached the point where I'm ready to turn myself into who I want to be and do the things I've always wanted to

I realize I have a throat chakra block. I need to clear it. I'll be using my voice a lot more in my life as I move forward and it'll play a major role for me I believe. I'm not a gifted orator at all, but I think I have the potential at least. Just like you have the potential to be the writer you want to be



Looking at the soul types, I relate to them all actually. I'd say I'm every soul type

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Yeah I’m still learning about light and dark too, it’s probably a never ending game but what I meant about how you have a good mix of both is you aren’t one of these people who is overly nice (fake) and not expressing the darkness. People forget it’s ok to be a dick sometimes, but most people are dicks for the wrong reasons but I think in some situations it’s necessary.

Have you ever been in a bad mood and you carry an evil aura about you? Like a dark cloud that people pick up on? My spiritual friend Janne mentioned he uses it on purpose but I didn’t really get what he meant, until I had a particularly stressful couple of days and after I was carrying round a dark cloud myself, it put my friend who I was visiting in a weird mood, she’s actually scared of it. So now I see what Janne was meaning. I think it scares people but you would need to be careful that if you use it you don’t become it, since playing with energy is a very real thing. But yeah, I wanna try use it on purpose sometime, I think this is natural magic.

It actually ties in with what you said about being able to transform ourselves into whatever we want to, even though you meant in the positive sense.

I watched a YouTube video where a guy was talking about this exact thing. He says healers can burn themselves out by trying too hard to heal when you just need to believe in positivity and just be. Basically the jist is to not feed anything negative. At first I thought this was a bit insulting to those with cancer but after a few weeks of reflection, I think being insulting to those in pain is besides the point. It’s the same theory about not reacting to negative energy, something I need to learn lol but now I understand it, I can begin implementing it.

So yeah I agree with you about how nothing is a struggle or permanent and our world has it completely wrong! It’s a myth that we need to struggle to heal. What causes the struggle is the ego bit of course we need to go on a journey to understand all this.

Which is why I think being in the vicinity of such spiritual talk is a sign you are ‘old’ or spiritually evolved. Because some people don’t get it. My GP thinks I’ve used this spiritual stuff as a crutch to get better and hey, of course I have, except it’s also the complete truth as well! It’s jot a religion or a theory it’s the secret of the universe! I thank the guy who first opened my eyes to it and it’s a pleasure to go on the journey and share it. And you’ll go on to share it when you meet someone lost too. It’s called light work

So I couldn’t sleep last night and it got me thinking I’m maybe not an old soul because my preoccupation with it has egotistical roots. Not completely egotistical, I kinda look for people who are mature and at least trying to control their ego’s, and don’t take it personally when I’m being attacked or judged (however subtly) by those that are stuck in it.

So my preoccupation isn’t completely egotistical but while unable to sleep last night, I realised how much of a mess I am. A sleepless night really helps ground me, it’s a moment of still, which is why I should meditate. Without those sleepless nights, I get ahead of myself and think I’m doing ok when im actually just living my life like a headless chicken. Pain is actually grounding too but oh dear god pain and tragedy is scary. Life is traumatic.

Working on your throat chakra sounds like a good technique to work on social anxiety. I still have social anxiety but I’ve realised it’s only real in group settings or dynamics that I retreat into my shell. I’m perfectly fine one on one. So like you said about how everything is positive we just need to believe it and not buy into the lie everything is a struggle, I think we need to do our processing of faults but also realise that it’s ok to be quiet and weird in groups of people. I was the same at college, I couldn’t speak because all the energy was overwhelming and I filled myself with blame and shame for it. Unfortunately, it’s who we are. The memory of feeling that huge anxiety fills me with fear and self-hate. Eugh.

I think building psychic shields may be a good technique too, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Hey, having a psychic shield and then that dark cloud shield are both pretty good weapons.

Lykanized said:

I'm the Shaman, the Server, the Warrior, the Artisan, the Sage, the Scholar, the Priest, and the King(or even higher, the Queen)

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God **** right the Queen should exist. Such quiet misogyny I didn’t even realise. It’s time to make new archetypes.

ynnest said:

Imagine that an ancient rat/spider race decided to emprison millions of souls within a system that these rats/spiders could use to feed of the other souls. I doubt that anyone would just be able to forgive and "move on" without any karmic balance. I think a much more heavy hand would be needed in a "case scenario" like that and it would be judged as just (and even kind like Jupiteras likes to say ).

Y

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I agree. The universe is a tough place and very cruel and unfair, but eventually, it all becomes fair. Just not in one lifetime. One lifetime is like a little movie.

This whole thing is a really weird thing. Like, existing and having to reincarnate to learn karma. I’m scared senseless about the whole truth of it all.

U

I’ve been experiencing glimpses of 5D recently, all the work has raised my vibration and opened a glimpse into a different dimension. Just glimpses though.

Sorry for over posting. I couldn’t sleep lastnight so slept until 5pm today and now I’m awake at midnight.

passiflora said:

You didn’t mind someone telling you that you’re paying with multiple lifetimes for some mistake made in one lifetime? That would upset me, like it’s intrusive.

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It did upset me, even if karmically it made sense. It felt like I was being subordinated to him. Like he was projecting. But it also made sense.

Ukpoohbear said:

It did upset me, even if karmically it made sense. It felt like I was being subordinated to him. Like he was projecting. But it also made sense.

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i have noticed that those who are absolutely convinced about karmic rebirth as the cause of Natal-chart difficulties and/or advantages get very upset if one suggests it might be luck-of-the-draw, and totally random. Either way, you have to p!ay with the cards you're dealt.

Ukpoohbear said:

I agree. The universe is a tough place and very cruel and unfair, but eventually, it all becomes fair. Just not in one lifetime. One lifetime is like a little movie.

This whole thing is a really weird thing. Like, existing and having to reincarnate to learn karma. I’m scared senseless about the whole truth of it all.

U

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Yeah like I said, a much more heavy hand would be needed in a "case scenario" like that.

Y

david starling said:

i have noticed that those who are absolutely convinced about karmic rebirth as the cause of Natal-chart difficulties and/or advantages get very upset if one suggests it might be luck-of-the-draw, and totally random. Either way, you have to p!ay with the cards you're dealt.

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Very true. I did think he saw my north node as a potential new beginning, including the waning moon, but it could just as well mean the end of reincarnating for me so I came to the conclusion he didn’t have the mental strength to consider he had messed up, which then led me to consider I could be healing him as much as he’s been healing me. He’s sure got an ego on him though, but he’s tried his best. But with ego’s, they don’t mind you suffering as long as they don’t have to. I grew up with that and I hate it.

passiflora said:

A good story is grounding, but also liberating. Shouldn’t trap you in a dependency.

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Yeah I said I would move to Finland in a few years if I was available but after what he’s said I would be silly to. Moonkat made me promise I wouldn’t lol plus I’ve met somebody now anyway. Let’s hope the current retrograde doesn’t mess it up for me, it was love at first sight for us both. Plus I’m talking to another older man from California who I first met on a sugar daddy website when I was 21. He’s planning to come visit me next year.

I will be married with children by next year I could show you their chart in private, with your permission of course.

A woman’s perspective is always good, and would be good to utilize a scholar.

ynnest said:

Yeah like I said, a much more heavy hand would be needed in a "case scenario" like that.

Y

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Yeah like I said, the Universe is a tough place, like I said, yeah.

U