Saturn conj. ascendant/ sun, jupiter return

Hello,

For the last 9 months or so I've been experiencing a great deal of chaos, including my home being destroyed (and rebuilt, though not nearly as comfortably as I would have liked). Various problems relating to the teeth, joints, skin and hair have appeared, including scalp/ facial eczema and hair loss, in response to which I have felt so much shame, I can't even describe. Maybe I would be able to deal with this if I had parents or friends who were around that could understand why these things upset me, or a nice, comfortable home. My parents are supportive but they are also kind of unstable (one is an alcoholic), unpredictable and so different from myself that they will probably never be able to understand the things I think or feel. At college I have people I like to be around, but at home (where I am now, on leave of absence), there is no one.....even when I do have people around, the shame I feel keeps me from truly feeling connected.

Achieving greatness and individual superiority used to be my 1st priority, but now I would do almost anything just to have enough self-esteem to participate in life and the world....the good part is that I feel better than I did 4-5 months ago (I felt like just giving up on life completely), I have begun to believe that things absolutely will get better. I still believe I will absolutely achieve a greatness beyond that of ordinary mortals in this lifetime, somehow. But for now I really just want to feel connected, and a release of shame.

Based on my chart, can you tell when the difficult influences might lift, and the good things might come? My birth certificate doesn't have an exact time of birth, my parents say around 6:30-6:45. I put 6:50 because I very much feel like a 12th house mercury and not a 1st house one.

OUCH!

First thing, it will all be over in a year. And more good news, you have started a whole new life. Saturn going through our 12th Houses and then over our Rising is BIG. People often change their names during this transit, take a whole new persona. Radical make-over time!

And read the Capricorn Uranus, Neptune, Saturn thread! Everyone born in 1989ish are going through it heavy, you especially! http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=56956

Your Sun and Rising are conjunct with Ruling Planet Pluto in there, in Scorpio - I hear that you are feeling exposed and humiliated. You are a very private person. And you don't have the support system I would wish for you.

Let the old go, and let the new emerge. There IS something NEW happening and these hard times are soon over.

More tomorrow.

Thanks Rosie, I look forward to your insights!

First of all, having Sun conjunct your Rising makes you a double Scorpio, super private, VERY mysterious - super shy ala Pluto in the 1st House. But Moon in Sage makes you more upbeat and funny than others first expect.

Watch Debra Silverman enacting these archetypes.

Scorpio (your outer self and also the genre of life movie you are here to live): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2k7bQB84PY

Sage (your inner self): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icbovUGDZ2g

North Node in Aquarium on your IC is fascinating. You were a celebrity or a ruler in a past life.

Learn to meditate. Yeah, yeah, I know it is hard, but learn to meditate anyway.

Read Elizabeth Spring:

NN in Aquarius: http://northnodeastrology.blogspot.com/2008/02/aquarius-north-node.html

NN in 4th: http://northnodeastrology.blogspot.com/2008/08/south-node-tenth-house-north-node.html

Thanks Rosie! Your statements are very accurate, though I don't think I act much like Debra Silverman Most people I know don't know me at all. I take that back - NO ONE knows me at all, lol. But I have done a lot of work with sketch comedy, and I always try to say something funny when I say something. I would say 70 % of what comes out of my mouth is intended humorously.

When I was little I was obsessed with presidents and monarchs, among quite a few other obsessions. In this life I don't view myself so much as a monarch, but as a person of incomparable skill, power that is not socially vested (like a ruler's) but acquired independently, and deeds have great bearing on the destiny of the galaxy....I definitely would say I feel like a character in a Star Wars movie.

I will try to meditate. Is there anything more you can tell me regarding the Saturn transit, dates to watch for, as well for the Jupiter return? Will the Jupiter return be someone watered down by Saturn's transit?

Most people I know don't know me at all. I take that back - NO ONE knows me at all, lol.

Is this a challenge? Saying that to your Aquarium astrologer on a public forum looks like you're asking it for it.

But I have done a lot of work with sketch comedy, and I always try to say something funny when I say something.

Very cool.

I definitely would say I feel like a character in a Star Wars movie.

Yes, but which character? Another challenge. Let me see...ah, I know! Princess Leia!

Hardware Wars: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ymFxkFfIhU

I will try to meditate.

Since your IC is Aquarius, you don't need to meditate in any standard way, just slow your brain waves to Alpha for a spell every day. Connect with your ancestors and guides.

Since we don't know your correct birthtime, hard to say when Saturn crossed your Asc. But you can still see that the T Saturn on your Pluto, and T Pluto on your Saturn stellium is almost over. Since the heavy changes happen at the beginning of transits, you have already gone through the worst of it.

And again, Saturn over your Rising (whenever that happened, or happens) marks the beginning of a whole new life movie. When Jupiter Returns in a year or so, that will begin a whole new 12 Year Jupiter cycle as well. For you, with Chiron conjunct Jupiter, I expect opportunities to become a healer, warrior, teacher, artist/magician, and astrologer will show up. Also a healing from having T Pluto opposed to Chiron/Jupiter - having your wound(s) made public.

All these generational transits light your scope up like a pin-ball machine. But again, the worst is over, new life dawning.

Thanks! Though with Saturn going in retrograde over my sun (next few weeks I recon), and not going back in direct until mid-summer, (and probably retrograding over my asc at some point therein) I wonder how it could finish with Pluto? Though I doubt the pluto transit would be so bad, at least every one else my age would be more or less there with me.

T Saturn has been going over your stellium since 2007. Regarding the most recent T. Saturn over N. Pluto, I would expect the big changes to have hit the first time Saturn came within 5* of yer Pluto.

Now Saturn is retrograding, which is a time to exhale and intergrate, and then it goes direct over your Pluto again, Sun, also maybe over your Rising again. But the hardest part is over. You may have after shocks, but the big earthquake already happened. Now you are being shown how to go forward, how to build... In a year, everything is different.

AND you won't have to go through Saturn crossing your Scorpio stellium on your Rising for another 28 years! And it will be easier then, I predict. Saturn is growing-up energy and gets easier and easier the more we mature. This mega-generational-transit, going over your inner planets, Sun and Rising, (as well as Pluto, like everyone else your age), is as intense as life gets. And very fated.

So have you gained in psychic abilities during this strange isolated outcaste time?

RosieOne said:

T Saturn has been going over your stellium since 2007. Regarding the most recent T. Saturn over N. Pluto, I would expect the big changes to have hit the first time Saturn came within 5* of yer Pluto.

Now Saturn is retrograding, which is a time to exhale and intergrate, and then it goes direct over your Pluto again, Sun, also maybe over your Rising again. But the hardest part is over. You may have after shocks, but the big earthquake already happened. Now you are being shown how to go forward, how to build... In a year, everything is different.

AND you won't have to go through Saturn crossing your Scorpio stellium on your Rising for another 28 years! And it will be easier then, I predict. Saturn is growing-up energy and gets easier and easier the more we mature. This mega-generational-transit, going over your inner planets, Sun and Rising, (as well as Pluto, like everyone else your age), is as intense as life gets. And very fated.

So have you gained in psychic abilities during this strange isolated outcaste time?

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Wow, yes. In late October/ early November, I did experiments with myself regarding psychic abilities. I used those online "meet a random stranger" sites like omegle and chatroullette. I did this because I was told by a shaman's apprentice that I should try to use psychic abilities because it would "raise my vibration".......to my surprise, remote viewing, clairvoyance, telepathy were all accessible to me and, when it went really well, the other person could also access them!

I have many strange experiences regarding what feels like an electrical current, usually just before I fall asleep, coursing through part of my body (it is not a good feeling).....usually I also feel a presence, it is very scary. I try to wake up as best I can (sleep paralysis has usually set in), but a few times I just stayed and asked "who is there!?". Sometimes something will show itself, visually and audially, usually these have been animals. Sometimes no one is there. It hasn't happened for a few weeks though.

I went on a trip to Sedona, Arizona with my mom, which is a very "psychic" kind of a place, as well.

Thanks for your valuable insight!! Everything you have said makes great sense.

I have many strange experiences regarding what feels like an electrical current, usually just before I fall asleep, coursing through part of my body (it is not a good feeling)

I have experienced this too. Uranian energy, kundalini. New channels being opened up.

Meanwhile you are slacking. First rule of psychics, in the past, present and forever more, is Consecration and Protection! You must invoke your Highest Guides and the LIGHT, asking for all your psychic awareness to come through the LIGHT, and surrendering into being used, for the good of all beings.

.....usually I also feel a presence, it is very scary. I try to wake up as best I can (sleep paralysis has usually set in), but a few times I just stayed and asked "who is there!?".

The Light easily dispells darkness and being a Light-Worker, you have nothing to fear.

Sometimes something will show itself, visually and audially, usually these have been animals.

What animals? Totems are important. Worthy of GOOGLING.

It hasn't happened for a few weeks though.

But it will happen again, and it will happen more and more, and you will stop pretending that you are the only person who has ever had psychic abilities coming on, and read uip on the subject!

Daily psychic hygiene! Salt in your bath to get Other-People's-Stuff (OPS) out of your aura. Clean clothes everyday. Wash hair often. Clean sheets every few days. Crystals and so forth.

Thanks for the advice.....the animals I've been with are snake, owl, and a scarab beetle. A lot of what I read talks about intuition and transformation, etc. Well that would apply pretty reasonably to me. When I was little I was obsessed with snakes, to the point that I wanted to be one.

Also, in a dream before I left for arizona all these huge brown birds tried to get into my room. I was scared so I left my room. While in Arizona on a pink jeep tour of the grand canyon (I was awake, lol), one of these huge brown birds swooped down near the jeep (to the surprise of the outdoorsy-hiker type driver). It was a golden eagle, I learned.

Also, about 8 years ago I was out deep in the water, with a boogie board. A huge school of sting ray passed by me, I mean HUGE, like hundreds. I could see them gracefully swimming by in the waves in front of me. It was frightening but awesome. I had a stuffed ray toy when I was little, affectionately named "Fufu", which I later learned is a certain food brought to puerto rico from africa (my mom's family is puerto rican, though not african). Years ago I had a sting ray dream, they were floating in mid air. I forget exactly what happened though.

A lot of what I read talks about intuition and transformation, etc. Well that would apply pretty reasonably to me. When I was little I was obsessed with snakes, to the point that I wanted to be one.

Ooops, of course you have read all about all of this psychic stuff. I forgot you are a Scorpio! Scorpios always know far more than they let on. I know that, I do, but all these scopes start swimming, and I forget you are a Scorpio Sun/Scorpio Rising etc. but your totems reminded me! Snakes seem more Scorpio than scorpions - and sting rays as well - Wow. And, don't be afraid, let those golden eagles into your room, and car too.

Leo Midheaven, what does this mean to you?

And Jupiter conjunct Chiron, make you one of Chiron's own Knights.

Mind if I link this thread into the Capricorn Saturn, Uranus, Neptune Generation thread? You are an excellent example of Jimi Hendrix and the 60s era - someone very personally impacted by these Pluto/Aries Waxing Square times, which got seeded, got started when Uranus was conjunct Pluto in the 1960s. Pluto in Scorpio is NOT AT ALL like Pluto in Leo, completely different styles, but the baton has been passed.

RosieOne said:

Mind if I link this thread into the Capricorn Saturn, Uranus, Neptune Generation thread? You are an excellent example of Jimi Hendrix and the 60s era - someone very personally impacted by these Pluto/Aries Waxing Square times, which got seeded, got started when Uranus was conjunct Pluto in the 1960s. Pluto in Scorpio is NOT AT ALL like Pluto in Leo, completely different styles, but the baton has been passed.

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Yeah sure, you can link. As far as Leo midheaven, well if mid-heaven plays a big role as to one's destiny in the societal context....I think it has something to do with that I feel (or rather, have felt, under more optimal circumstances) like a character in a Star Wars movie, I feel that my destiny, while perhaps somewhat covert, is quite a large one nonetheless.....I could take forever explaining and detailing this but I think I'll spare everyone this time, lol.

Thanks!

Synchronistically, here on this forum, and in my private practice, I have dealt with several Scorpion Rising, Leo Midheaven scopes in the last few days.

Repeating myself freely, I think of this as the celebrity scope, where performance artists get famous for acting some character in movies, or being in a band - and in their private lives they slink around, wearing sun glasses and plain clothes, trying to avoid the cameras.

You are a super private person, but you need to put yourself center stage in the limelight. Did you mention doing comedy?

RosieOne said:

Synchronistically, here on this forum, and in my private practice, I have dealt with several Scorpion Rising, Leo Midheaven scopes in the last few days.

Repeating myself freely, I think of this as the celebrity scope, where performance artists get famous for acting some character in movies, or being in a band - and in their private lives they slink around, wearing sun glasses and plain clothes, trying to avoid the cameras.

You are a super private person, but you need to put yourself center stage in the limelight. Did you mention doing comedy?

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Actually, prior to all of this chaotic stuff happening I was a pianist and composer (I'm in college)....while I took piano very seriously, I was definitely more into composing, I even got standing ovations when I played some of my pieces! I know 100% that I have an imagination of the highest potency...some of my idols were/ are Ravel, Wagner, Richard Strauss, Stravinsky. Though ultimately my artistic goals are more along the lines of Walt Disney or George Lucas, they are idols to me in some ways as well.

When all of the troubling things happened I could feel some life-force leave me and I had trouble playing, then I got tendonitis, then I just lost interest because I was so full of fear and shame (due to losing my sense of having a home, as well as rapid premature aging).....however I was in choir and we sang some Russian music mostly because I (yes, me, lol) have a surprisingly strong low register, it is peculiarly deep and resonant (surprising because I am only 5'7"), I often got compliments (or befuddled looks) but I never really cared. Recently, however, I have thought about singing opera, because in my isolation I have been listening to, singing along with, and thoroughly enjoying it...also, I think there is a greater sense of connection and participating in doing something like that, rather than spending hours alone in a practice room the way pianists do. However, after all of this stress and anxiety my voice feels tired and sort of damaged, I don't think I would be able to pursue it at all until it heals, whenever that will be. Right now I am just trying to learn to relax and reduce tension throughout my body, supplementing with nutrition and all of that.

So...yes, I think of myself as, someone who reaches and impacts millions or even billions of others, in spite of being super private/ shy. I did participate in sketch comedy a lot as a writer and I enjoy it for the humor and (mostly) the connection/ participation with others.

Thanks for all of your interest! You are dead on.

Sounds totally wonderful! Having gone through such hard times has given you compassion and humility.

Opera. Wow. I wander around wondering what Pluto in Scorpio generation people are listening to with those ear buds. Never occurred to me to imagine opera!

Thanks, I appreciate your help a lot. It's good to know I'll be in better shape in a little while. My last question is....what does it mean, one of Chiron's own knights?

Chiron was discovered in 1977 at 4* Taurus. It takes Chiron 50 years to go around the whole zodiac and it isn't all the way around yet. Astrologers watch the first cycle after a planet or asteroid are discovered closely, to figure out what the new cosmic force is all about. Chiron has already revolutionized astrology, and many books have been written, but we won't know the full symbolism regarding Chiron until 2027, when Chiron has that first Chiron Return.

People with powerful Chiron placements in their scopes (I have Chiron on my Midheaven for instance) during this first awakening of Chiron energy on this earth I think of as Chiron's Knights. Chiron was a warrior, also healer, teacher, astrologer, and artist/magician. Chironic people should become are all these things too - and it is easier for us to be all these things because we had this Chironic training in past lives.

Chironic people often choose bad womb placements so other's won't have too. Like how Chiron took Prometheus's place in the myth. Chiron Knights are the wounded healers, in other words.

Chironic folk have a great mission. This is not vacation life for us, even if we have easier scopes - which we usually don't. A great life, but not an easy one.