When I was a teenager, back in the summer of 1999, I had a crush on a guy I was never officially introduced to. I thought it was just a crush, and that it would pass. (Un)fortunately, it hasn't.
At first, I would only see him walking around downtown with a friend. He never hit on me. I found out his name, age, address, etc. Then I was in a long term relationship, but every time I saw him, I liked what I saw, and every time I wasn't content with my relationship I would daydream of being with him instead. From 2006. to 2013. I only saw him occasionally, in the streets.
Then, in late 2012. and in 2013. I saw him many times, even in bars, BUT I was with my boyfriend almost each time.
I haven't seen him for a year. Anyhow, I keep on thinking about him and what it would be like to know him, to be with him. I wonder what he's like and if he's the one. I don't know if the feelings and illusions I've created around him are only signs that I'm not happy with my boyfriend or that maybe I should try to be with him. These daydreams and feelings haunt me.
There used to be times when I saw him and felt as if I had been hit by lightning. I would get nervous around him, sometimes even unable to look at him.
Sometimes I go and look at his Youtube playlist, listen to some of the songs he likes. I know his google+ page and his skype id too. Sometimes I feel like writing to him, but I've no idea what I would say, so I keep on daydreaming. He's like a drug I can't get off or a curse that's been cast to me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be 45 or 60 and still have these feelings while I am married to someone else or to stay single just because I might meet him someday.
I would like to know if he likes me back, if he'd be with me if he could.
I'm adding a horary here (I don't know if it can help since I would be much more focused on the question if I have just seen him. Now I'm in the state of melancholy, bored inside while cruel fast wind is blowing outside), and I'm also adding my natal and his natal without the time of birth since I don't know it.
You can see Venus opposite Neptun in my natal. Maybe that's making me obsess about greener pastures. Several years ago I was inspired to learn a foreign language just because it's his father's first language. I daydreamed about meeting his father and taking to him in that language. Ironically, his father died almost 2 years ago, so there's no way of impressing him now. There are also some songs that always make me think of him. I most often imagine us being in his white house, near a fireplace, and also, making coffee together in the morning.
At first, I would only see him walking around downtown with a friend. He never hit on me. I found out his name, age, address, etc. Then I was in a long term relationship, but every time I saw him, I liked what I saw, and every time I wasn't content with my relationship I would daydream of being with him instead. From 2006. to 2013. I only saw him occasionally, in the streets.
Then, in late 2012. and in 2013. I saw him many times, even in bars, BUT I was with my boyfriend almost each time.
I haven't seen him for a year. Anyhow, I keep on thinking about him and what it would be like to know him, to be with him. I wonder what he's like and if he's the one. I don't know if the feelings and illusions I've created around him are only signs that I'm not happy with my boyfriend or that maybe I should try to be with him. These daydreams and feelings haunt me.
There used to be times when I saw him and felt as if I had been hit by lightning. I would get nervous around him, sometimes even unable to look at him.
Sometimes I go and look at his Youtube playlist, listen to some of the songs he likes. I know his google+ page and his skype id too. Sometimes I feel like writing to him, but I've no idea what I would say, so I keep on daydreaming. He's like a drug I can't get off or a curse that's been cast to me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be 45 or 60 and still have these feelings while I am married to someone else or to stay single just because I might meet him someday.
I would like to know if he likes me back, if he'd be with me if he could.
I'm adding a horary here (I don't know if it can help since I would be much more focused on the question if I have just seen him. Now I'm in the state of melancholy, bored inside while cruel fast wind is blowing outside), and I'm also adding my natal and his natal without the time of birth since I don't know it.
You can see Venus opposite Neptun in my natal. Maybe that's making me obsess about greener pastures. Several years ago I was inspired to learn a foreign language just because it's his father's first language. I daydreamed about meeting his father and taking to him in that language. Ironically, his father died almost 2 years ago, so there's no way of impressing him now. There are also some songs that always make me think of him. I most often imagine us being in his white house, near a fireplace, and also, making coffee together in the morning.
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