Please help me!

LightworkerNikki

Well-known member
I just went through hell the past two weeks. mentally/emotionally/spiritually.. and im praying i will feel stable soon. Can anyone tell me whats up? will this end soon? anything to look forward to ..


I also always feel like im in my head often.. its torture..

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sethi

Well-known member
Hello Nikki,

You will feel better in about 7-10 days time.

But most importantly, things will change for the better when saturn enters sagitarrius.
 

unique_astrology

Well-known member
The progression of Saturn to natal Moon-Saturn midpoint and approaching conjunction with natal Moon with progressed natal Moon to natal Mars and the Mars-Neptune midpoint during that period time the psychological experiences you listed.
 

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waybread

Well-known member
Can you summarize the events that so distressed you? Each will be symbolized by a different planet, sign, and/or house. That will make it easier to pinpoint the problem.
 

kimbermoon

Well-known member
I suggest it can in part be due to the fact that you have Uranus in trine aspect to it's natal position: the combination of fire energies definitely puts the mind at full thrust, as the creative intellect goes a little bit wild and crazy. Neptune plays no small part either, causing confusion and a sense of disorientation with the transiting aspects it makes at this time: sextile Jupiter, but incongruous with your Sun; this suggests confusion about your sense of Identity and how you fit in with the world. The recent conjunct of Mars/Pluto in the heavens [Nov 11] set up trends relating to power, control and conflict and a build-up of emotions relating to the past. There's lots of evidence in the chart showing the difficulties you face at this time.
Saturn is no friend to you at the moment either, as it is finalizing it's transit through Scorpio and edging away from it's return cycle...that will change when it moves into the sign of Sagittarius just before Christmas.
The question is what has especially triggered this tortuous whirlwind in your personal life.
If your mind is all abuzz, the suggestion is to engage in more physical and creative activities to offset the impact. Finding focus and the ability to direct your mind, rather than it having control over you may also be a requirement. Waiting for more input...
 

LightworkerNikki

Well-known member
It feels like ive had a dark night of the soul ( I was literally in a state of hell). Where everything i believed and everything i identified with completely vanished.. i went almost psychotic for a few days... my mom literally had to sit with me/ sleep beside me and watch me for those days. It was like a transformation period... and i believe it started when i met a man ( ex bf ) in 2013 who started to make me think differently... from being "spiritually minded" to more logical minded. I began to read just a bit of krishnamurti .. whos aim is to make people detach from false identities which cause conflict and war inside people and outside. I tend to absorb people, ideas, things to the core.. and i believe in doing this i began to actually change my frame of mind. Only about three weeks ago it all really began and i even started to have physical sensations along with all this. If you all know what kundalini is or kundalini psychosis. For sure it is more mental so i will try not to label it as 100% kundalini or spiritual. As spiritual/mental experiences seem to often blend together. But now I stabilizing a bit more. I feel a bit more grounded .. but any anxiety can set me off into my head. I get stuck there and anxiety comes with it. I have been trying to be off the net more.. and in the world.. i am an artist so focusing on my art has been helping a lot. I just wondered if my chart showed this because it has been the most difficult change in all of my life. I may start seeing a therapist soon. My mind goes so deep into things ( a very intense ocd).. as if i am on a drug and i trip out. Right at this moment i feel really good. Stable and thinking well. I just need to keep this balance. Ive been doing everything possible to. Im vegan but even have taken up eating some fish for the brain food.
 
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Zarathu

Account Closed
Michelle,

Every three to six months you seem to have some kind of wild period, always involving some new boyfriend, and you post here, and then you don't come back for a long time. Sometimes people will respond here and something not(its all in the archives).

I'm beginning to suspect that you need to see a professional psychological counselor for your issues, and to consistently address on an everyday basis over time, and not in a piece-meal way in an astrology forum.

Please consider this option.

Zarathu
 

LightworkerNikki

Well-known member
Yes, Zarathu.. as you read above as well i am likely going to start to go to therapy. But as a member I have a every right to look into my chart and what it is showing for what happened. Im not solely relying on a natal reading.. just insights. And please dont be so rude as to state i have a new bf ever 3 to 6 months.

I had one difficult period with an ex in which a man came into my life that broke us up ( 2 years ago). Then next situation was with my next partner. There are no more so please dont disrespect me again.
 
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kimbermoon

Well-known member
If I might add some more thoughts for you:

What ails thee?

When it seems that the Universe is bearing down on you, the pressure is meant to cause change in the way you are doing things, and to become more attentive to the inner issues that spill out into the outer world. Perhaps you have wavered from your true path in life, or need to be more accommodating in your relations with others.

While Jupiter transits the 4th H it is about bringing greater awareness of how your past conditioning and programming, influences the things you do now. Overall the energies in this chart are rather concentrated in the areas of love, work and marriage. There is not a lot of balance in the things you focus on.

With Uranus governing your 10th H, your path in life is about discovery, learning and understanding. The lessons you encounter are meant to lift your awareness to a higher level of understanding. And yes that influence can create a lot of confusion and disruption in the life.

They certainly make for an 'interesting life' as you learn about ways to adapt and adjust yourself to the flow of significant changes. Aquarius is here to remind us that change is an inevitable part of life. As such you might consider what things you are trying to resist again change. Aquarius is there to share and disseminate cognitive awareness that serves the greater All and the collective mind;

With natal Uranus posited in the 7th House, much of it's energy is directed to social and intimate relationships; ultimately it's energy receives vibrations of support and opportunity through it's sextile to the Sun, giving more pertinence to it's influence in your life. This symbolizes defining your personal individuality and autonomy, while at the same time working for the collective, which seems paradoxical but again it is about creating balance and harmony.

The Sun represents your beacon in life, that which calls you to the path of self-realization and that is really what it is all about, this journey called Life.
The essence of Libra Sun is about creating social balance and demonstrating the benefits of co-operation, rather than competition, as a collective agreement. It encompasses the quest for justice and equality, which is definitely needed in this uncivilized world many of us are experiencing. And often in life some degree of compromise is asked of us all to further equality and justice.

In terms of your particular mission in life, as a theme, is encoded in the Nodal Axis of your chart.
the Moon's Nodes are also factored into one's personal mission.
For you, the Nodes cross the polarity between Taurus and Scorpio, crossing the axis of your 6th and 12th House; on a higher level this is about balancing between the material world and spiritual needs; the differentiation between greed and avarice [self aggrandizement], and generosity of spirit
by being of service to others, and doing so willingly. Since your Sun also relates to balance, that is something essential that you need to create for yourself and for others.

North Node in the 12th implies that retreat from the vexations of the material world is where you may be heading, so you may benefit by making your home environment a sanctuary, that others may also benefit from; perhaps working for institutions of charity or therapeutic healing.

One thing of significance is that Neptune serves to add to confusion, disappointments, and other deterrents from following the path of spirituality, thus you may find yourself in 'forced retreat, instead [confinements and limitations] rather than retreat for the purposes of contemplation and self-awareness. Neptune also casts shadows over your Sun and Mercury, adding to the complexity of
of what you experience as your personal reality. Whose reality are you living... Your own, or that which has been concocted and dictated by others?

That then brings in the influence of Saturn in your 6th H; joined with the Moon, this shows tendencies towards depression and disillusionment, which could at times serve to drive you towards escapism and
retreat from the challenges you are meant to tame and overcome in life.

South Node in Scorpio shows the types of things you are needing to move past and away from in life; it can relate to obsessions and possessiveness, jealousy, resentment, vindictiveness or abuses of power or emotional manipulation. This drama is apt to play out mostly in the area of employment for you [relations with co-workers]. If you allow yourself to be overly tortured [victimized] or create ill-will for others, the consequences are apt to affect your own health and well-being

At this time your chart suggests that you are being troubled in your domestic affiliations, [family and connections to the past], as well as areas relating to marriage and social interaction, and issues of employment, [or lack of]. How you react to these challenges, and actions taken now, will have an impact on what the future you are creating will be.
 

LightworkerNikki

Well-known member
Such an insightful reading kimber.

I def recall someone mentioning to me about my Scorpio placement you mentioned. I ( in this life) have been making every effort to resolve my inner conflicts of jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness, competition.. it is something we all must become aware of about our selves. But yes, these past weeks it has been something coming to the surface which im forced to face.. with maturity. To be aware of what is real and what is false/illusionary/fear ( inner division). It is in seeking to resolve it that i believe i became stuck.. but am working on it.. and is obviously an every day work.. not just a one time thing.

The Neptune placement you mentioned is exactly what i have been going through... a realization that i need to live in the most authentic way and not be made a replica. Not influenced so much by any person or path.. but by becoming aware of my own path.

As for my mission in life... just as you mentioned.. being a Libra has truly been reflectory in my every day decisions... balancing has become almost an automatic obsession.

Whats interesting that you mention about Aquarius as a reminder of change... well the man that broke my ex and I up as well as my last partner are Both Aquarius and born only days apart. And they both have played this really impactful role on transforming me and forcing me to change.

You stated my chart has mainly to do with Love, relationships and work.. as of now im doing excellent at work.. selling my art.. and managing to support myself. Its a real blessing. As for Love life.. as you can see.. it always seems they serve as a VERY strong transformation in my life and then im left to pick of pieces and start anew. Ive learned from my mistakes tho.. and hope to be single for a while now in order to truly start again when im ready. I hope that these really difficult periods calm down tho.. they are truly as if im forced to change quickly and drastically.. its painful... but i know now not to resist.

Again i appreciate your response.

Awaiting the Sag transit :) patiently lol
 
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waybread

Well-known member
Transiting Saturn is hitting your nodal axis: opposing your NN in a house that deals with mysteries and mysticism. Your posts have that kind of flavour to them.

Keeping grounded-- even through something literal like putting your hands in soil or working with clay-- seems like it would be helpful.
 

Horus

Well-known member
As noted by others, Saturn leaves Scorpio Dec. 24th but it will be back next year. It will make it as far as 4° Sagittarius before it goes retrograde on March 14th 2015, and then it will backpedal as far as 28° Scorpio until it goes direct again on August 2nd so there's a little more fun to be had for those with Scorpion Saturn Returns and/or late Scorpio planets like moi.
 
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dhundhun

Well-known member
I just went through hell the past two weeks. mentally/emotionally/spiritually.. and im praying i will feel stable soon. Can anyone tell me whats up? will this end soon? anything to look forward to ..

I also always feel like im in my head often.. its torture..

Yes, Zarathu.. as you read above as well i am likely going to start to go to therapy. But as a member I have a every right to look into my chart and what it is showing for what happened. Im not solely relying on a natal reading.. just insights. And please dont be so rude as to state i have a new bf ever 3 to 6 months.

I had one difficult period with an ex in which a man came into my life that broke us up ( 2 years ago). Then next situation was with my next partner. There are no more so please dont disrespect me again.

WEST POINT. It works as an alternative to DEScendant. Saturn is sitting at your WEST POINT. I think your problems are due to this.

Since last two years, your ASC lord progresses and afflicts to these sensitive points. This explains your difficult period two years ago as well as now.

I think, this should not recur again.

Mercury is natally afflicted, which might be adding to problems. You might get easy irritated and can't have control over words and expressions. Do you think this as problem?
 

Kannon

Well-known member
Do whatever it takes to get grounded.

And what have you been doing differently/new the last few weeks?

The timing of this for you indicates that a pairing of Saturn conjunct your natal S.Node and Pluto widely parallel it may be what is triggering this. This is potentially a cleansing transit, but not comfortably so. Don't expect a euphoric release anytime soon. This is a tough urging to let go of the past -- all things that are no longer serving you. In a way this is a process that has to work 'blind' -- it may be the act/practice of letting go has to come before you fully understand exactly what you are letting go of!

Also if your chart is basically accurate as is, then you are probably feeling Pluto [20S40] contra-parallel your Asc [about 21N]. "Hell" is a keyword for Pluto. Sorry, but Pluto transits are slow. Their purpose is transformation and deepening of your reach of power within yourself.

More specifically, your progressed Mercury [17S33] is exactly contra-parallel natal Chiron; transiting Saturn [17S42] has been right there on top of it. This gets it a bit complicated, but hurtful words or ongoing negativity from some source have probably made this situation harder than it needs to be. This combination can indicate it is time to say goodbye to something/someone that is no longer serving a positive place in your life.

Good thing is progressed Venus [23S17] and prog. Jupiter [23S21] are in tight parallel. So this time doesn't have to be all bad. Just enjoy yourself and don't waste it on indulging others' trivial whims or indulgences.
 
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