Some people say retrograde planets are weaker and some people say they are stronger. I was reading about them and watching some videos today and I finally think I understand them. They are both weaker and stronger. They're innately stronger, but because they're stronger and their energy much more intense, it can lead to fixations and issues surrounding that energy because in these lifetimes, we are called to face the issues of our retrograde planets head on. Until we do start facing them head on, we will feel something isn't quite right or something isn't working. But eventually, we go through a period where all of these issues build up and that's the precipice, that's where we make the choice to either pussy up, or let ourselves die. If we decide to face these issues head on and let them transform us, their energy will be something to be reckoned with. That's why initially in life, retrograde planets will be a detriment, but as we get older, we may have so so many resources and gifts to thrive
I can see how my retrograde planets have affected me deeply throughout my whole life, Mercury, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. I've never felt these planets were weaker. They're some of my strongest planetary influences. Saturn may be felt a little less because the other 4 planets have lots of major planetary aspects in my chart. Mercury and Neptune have 4, Uranus has 5, and Pluto has 6. Saturn only has a square to Pluto and that's it, but I can still feel Saturnine issues in my life
For Mercury, I don't feel I think the way most people do and for most of my life, this made me feel I was stupid or somehow lesser and I've had to come into my own, I still have to work on that too. Words don't always come easily to me in speaking and I've also been diagnosed ADD, but somehow I'm so much better at writing. Saturn, I've had lots of problems with discipline and routine, boundaries, and limitations, in particular, I'm extremely rebellious against any sort of rules place upon me that I feel restrict me. I've had to learn that a little bit of structure and discipline is necessary if I wanna get anywhere in life. Uranus, again, I'm extremely rebellious when it comes to any rules set upon me, especially when they seem to restrict my creativity or sexuality since Uranus is in house 5 which has caused a disbalance at times where I start rebelling for the sake of not wanting to be controlled rather than to find my truth. Neptune, I can be so dreamy and lost in my own world that I completely lose touch with the external world. I may have a tendency to lose myself in any way possible. I've had to work particularly hard in that regard and I still have to. With it in my 5th house, I've had tendencies to lose myself too in my writing and in creating my own fantasy world, but I don't see this as a negative habit so long as i'm also facing life. Pluto, at this point in life, transformation is one of my greatest focuses in life. Darkness for me is a gateway to finding my light, but for a lot of my life, indulging in darkness has been something gratifying for much lower reasons, sometimes more of a lust for power achieved via intellectual exploration and showing my thoughts to others so as to shake them up and drastically shift their infrastructures as Pluto's in my 3rd house. As I've gotten older, this has become much more pure. Now it's about healing. I seek to heal myself and by extension, others. So I still desire to drastically change things for society, but it's not because I just want power
