Please please help with super confusing big academic decision

Hi, I hope you guys are all having good days...

For the past three months I've gone back and forth on deciding whether or not to return to a good top 25 university that I was going to overseas. I was involved in a very unhealthy relationship that started soon after I began studying there 2 years ago, I got awful grades and I was a mess emotionally because of the relationship. I failed this year and was planning to retake but eventually decided not to because my mother thought the relationship might have been too toxic to return and carry on safely and eventually I decided to take on a new path by enrolling in my local community college and taking up an apprenticeship with a seamstress. This was all in hopes that I would get the degree sorta just to get the degree, all the while starting my own etsy business of selling clothing that I would make. I've always had a passion for fashion, lol.

But now that I've transferred, the local college says they won't accept my credits and i may have to start over from my first year. I asked the really good school i was going to and they said i could still return to do a part-time retake of last year and continue my studies there.

I know my mother wants me to stay here but I have no friends here and am unsure about my future either way. I could really use some help and would be truly appreciative of any feedback you could give.

With the Moon exactly conjunct your 7th house cusp, in Pisces, 'toxic relationships' are often going to be something you must guard against. Moon in Pisces on the 7 cusp can be self destructive and fickle, at worst. And sympathetic, compassionate and ultra loyal, in the positive. But extreme emotional connections are usual with a Pisces Moon on the 7th. Sometimes to the detriment of your own personal benefit.

here is an interesting excerpt about Moon opposed Asc:


"...you seek to be absorbed by others so they will turn to you for sympathetic understanding.

Subconsciously, you need someone to need you at all times. You are trying to transfer the parental loyalty of your childhood to people with whom you can become intimately identified.

This seems to be the only way you can conserve the emotional security you are accustomed to.

You have a wide circle of friends who think highly of you because of your generous and kindly disposition. Nevertheless, you find it difficult to form individual, binding relationships, because you are never really sure you can fulfill the responsibilities they entail. "


http://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Moon-Opposition-Ascendant

So I can understand why your Mom is nervous about your past relationship. But it does not matter where you live---you still have to learn how to be in a relationship without losing yourself, and being swallowed up whole.

Your Mom cannot really save you from that. It is your responsibility and you can do it.

That Moon is exactly square Pluto in the 4th. Your family may try too hard to control you, out of fear and love. But it is still detrimental to your own personal growth.

They have good reasons at times, in that you may find yourself under the control of others, by falling in with bad relationships or a bad crowd. But they need to help you stand up for yourself, not try to do it for you.

Normally I would suggest going to the good university overseas if there's no problem getting readmitted, but can you confirm that your study habits are up to it, assuming no toxic relationship going on? It's not going to get easier as you advance into upper-level classes, as the profs will expect that you retained what you were taught in the first-year courses.

What is or would be your major? That field should show up in your chart.

The 9th house rules higher education. It doesn't seem to be a strong area of your chart, but that's fine. Most graduates attend primarily to get their degree, and then the alma mater is no longer a part of their life.

Is there a plan C, like attending a state university or art & design college (which might offer fashion design courses) that would take you away from home, but cost less, if your career goals are still unsettled? If you want to start your own business, business courses would be helpful, as well.

You've got that domiciled Mercury in your first house sextiling Venus, which should be helpful in fashion design.

Thank you so much katydid, your reply just makes everything make so much sense, it completely characterizes how I was in that relationship (like exactly) and also I do have a really hard time keeping connections with people that I don't have a sort of 'bond' with. You're wonderful!! I am really grateful for your thoughtful reply, you've really gotten to the base of the issue so quickly *-*

waybread: Thanks so much for your reply, I wanted to ask if you saw something in my chart that could indicate bad study habits or any weaknesses that might indicate an inability to succeed there (my mom's asking). I'd like to believe that I will be able to persevere and succeed without a toxic relationship in tow but in reality I'm really not so sure of myself anymore and don't want to jump back into the better school just to come back with nothing at the end of it all.

I'm majoring in Economics, I had considered state colleges or design schools but the problem is that most of the deadlines were months ago. Another thing about going to the university overseas is that if I did go it might make it easier in the future to transfer to a state university, maybe easier than if I transfered from my local college.

Woo it's cool you found something to do with design ^-^ I was never really able to see anything that could indicate it so yaaay, I'm not crazy

I really can't tell you how much I appreciate your help guys, you're the best!

Thanks for the feedback. I think your focus and concentration look reasonable. I ask because students who have to withdraw from university oftentimes put their energies on something other than their studies. In your case it was a relationship. Some students simply party too much. Sometimes it's a family crisis at home. Only you can decide if you're ready to make your classes the primary focus of your university time. This isn't to say you cannot have a relationship, friends, good times, and so on; but just that you have to be able to say "no" to them if you have an exam coming up.

I think most large universities in western countries offer workshops on study habits, and have counseling services for students who cannot concentrate because of too much stress in their lives. These might be helpful.

I think economics is a decent major for you (Mercury rules trade) but if you have this option, business might be even better if you hope to open your own small business. So far as your fashion design goes, Mercury and the moon both make nice aspects to Venus, who rules such things.

This may seem like an unusual suggestion, but with Chiron sitting on your Venus, I wonder if you've ever thought of designing cool clothes for people with disabilities. If they have problems with fastening clothes that require manual dexterity or mobility to take on and off, it's a problem for them.

Thank you so much waybread, it's really funny that you asked that because as a child I designed and patented a hat (that gave off a look as though it was kinda like colorful knitted hair) for girls who had lost their hair to cancer so...wow, you're really good at this haha

Higher education is indicated by the 9th house. In your chart Mars rules the 9th and it is placed in the 3rd house which would suggest that you attend school close to home. Also transiting Uranus is about to enter your 9th and transiting Jupiter will oppose it soon, so something unexpected may present itself in regards to your education so I would wait a little longer before I make a decision. Transiting Saturn is about to square your Sun so there may be some kind of set back as well.

I rectified your chart a little to 5:50h.
You have a good chart:
Saturn aspects and Moon aspects are very good. Your midheaven is in Gemini, and this means at your job you have to communicate, move or research a lot. If you don't do it, you might fail. Saturn in the 8th house worries a lot. In your case about your plans and goals. Saturn means Verantwortung (responsibility in German), therefore it's an important planet. You need to pray to Saturn always, if you don't want to be his enemy. An 8th house Saturn suggests hostile attitudes towards genuine Saturn traits such as responsibility, structures in your career and others' career, intelligence, and so on... (countries too)
Saturn semisquare Midheaven suggests that you don't want to do things. Maybe recalibrating your chart using a relocation move would be best for your life as an improvement. x

Your chart suggests that you're a deep communicator, but you're always on the surface, somehow?

Your current situation regarding love is too difficult to bear. And won't improve till Neptune is 28 Pisces or a little earlier.

Regarding your job life (profession), you should worry too, until end of 2018

Did you move far away from birth location?

sun-mer-rahu virgo, mer elevated, intellectual, impressive, acting skills,
rise-fall in life, calls for ancestor worship, observe fast No-moon days;

past 1.5yr rahu-ketu the nodes transit natal rahu-ketu,
moon-ketu inimical pisces detachment from relationship, hyper-sensitive;

now ketu transit jup acq 6th coming 1.5yr, accident prone,
pain-injury-surgery lower legs-liver-intestinal to take care;
detachment from employment-job;

rahu transit leo 12th for foreign lands;

sat sooner transit own cap 5th, 11th for gains from moon,
good for luck-edu-position-public admin-event management-tech aptitude etc;
sat cap elevated aspect libra 2nd for family-finances-education;


jup sooner one year transit mars-venus secretive scorpio 3rd for initiative-communications,
9th from moon for luck, mars own scorpio, good for
artistic aptitudes, relationship, alchemy; forensic studies,martial arts, metal music, etc
natal venus aspect own taurus 9th for luck-higher edu, travels, etc

jup trine moon aspect own pisces 7th for marriage-relationship;
trine elevated aspect cancer 11th for income-gains-friendships;


hope the information helps take stock, find helpful,
wishing luck, share feedbacks,


kshantaram

Hey guys thank you so much for your feedback, I'll reply to you individually to thank you but here's a quick update on the situation at hand:

A couple of days ago my ex boyfriend's (the one my mom feared) friends messaged me telling me that he planned on coming here to see me, I have not spoken to him for at least two months and the last message he sent me was about a month ago, so this has not been encouraged in anyway whatsoever. He has shown some obsessive behavior (like writing to all of my friends asking about me when I wouldn't respond to him) but never to that degree. Today he came to my house and dropped two suitcases of my belongings with my mother, keep in mind he lives in the UK and I truly didn't believe he would go this far or that his claim was serious. So yes, I'm now being stalked.

Yes, that seems like stalking. Why didn't he just send you those belongings if he thought you needed them?

I'm not sure, I asked my friends that had my belongings and the ones I had asked to take them for me (because I didn't want him to have them) and they said that he had talked about a friend of his going to the US anyways so he took them off of their hands and brought them here. But all of it was just a con.

Stand firm and stay strong.

You are stronger than you know.