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Unread 10-07-2019, 09:53 PM
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Harmelia Harmelia is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Sedona, AZ
Posts: 374
Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

I wish I had your city of birth as I could bring it up on my computer then. The chart print is so small it's difficult to read and there are no degrees on the transits.

Still, what I get looking at your chart is that you have one major conflict. Virgo rising and Leo Sun (with Chiron also in Leo). Virgo has the tendency to be really self-doubting, humble, socially more of a wall flower. Virgo doesn't like being center stage or in the lime light. It likes to be helpful and is the zodiac "servant".

Leo wants to shine and enjoys an audience. Without going into all the reasons I think this, you are actually a very sensitive person. You actually CARE about people, but I don't think you've found a way to show it. Your Saturn is in Virgo's house - the 6th. You might even be quite intuitive with it in Aquarius. You ARE here to gain confidence in yourself socially - Sun in Leo, 11th house of friends/community. But I think you need to develop that confidence and trust through your Virgo side. You need to find a way to "shine" while you are giving something to people. It'd be great if you have a job where you could do that.

One can indeed shine and have others appreciate you when you're giving something of value to them - with love and caring in your heart. I think you have to learn a skill that will give you this experience if you don't have one already. Mars in Virgo conjunct the ASC could be translated as "Doing Virgo". Mars is our DOER. It's in Virgo, the sign of service. It CAN be aggressive, but then you could help A LOT then - go for it - really do that helping thing that is also a vehicle for you to shine and be special to others.

I know what it's like to be depressed. Saturn in the 6th might give you that overall tendency. I have Saturn in Virgo in the 1st. Anyway, it's just a state of being that seems like a big black hole you will never escape. But once you can mentally stand outside that idea or state, you realize, it's just a state of being and you don't really have to be there.

My advice is to reflect upon how you really do care and how difficult it is to show your ultra-sensitivity. You can't really show it to many people - and that's okay - but you can show it through helping without revealing all your sensitivity. It's something you can work on anyway. Just remember that most people aren't necessarily so sensitive. So honor yourself and don't expect to reveal all who you are. You only need a friend or two who really knows you. The rest, you can be less of who you are and still enjoy a social engagement. Leo likes to play roles. Try playing a role or two. Practice in private. Have fun with it. If you have more fun, you'll notice others will enjoy you more.

That's all for now!
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