Thank you Pan for your response. I loved your points. They seem right on target to what I am learning in my life, and what I am seeing currently happening.
I have read a lot more, since I first posted here. My current transits in January really affected my chart. I felt it. My Sun and Moon Opposition was really felt as I recognized the conflict. Mars was really making my daily life stressful, with Mars and my Gemini Moon needing opposite things. I have tried to learn how to allow my Mars to do his thing 'to defend my Moon who feels it has no voice", and allow my Moon some expression at the same time that is beneficial to its needs.
Since my Moon has received a voice in my daily living I feel a bit calmer. Its still a work in progress, but my Mars definitely expresses himself more from the Sun's aspect, and he's learning how to live with my other planets working as a team, as best he can. I also began to learn about Chiron which is directly related I believe to my 12th house where my North Node sits. It also relates to my Moon I believe too. And this is where I see the self-realization aspect coming in to play. Where I need to go and what I need to accomplish in this life.
I like what you said,
"sol leo is the illuminated soul, and you have a chance
to become a shining light, even a noble character which one must also act "as if" you are, in order to become."
Its funny that I have always felt myself seeking enlightenment. And I am drawn to the Warrior that fights for good over evil. I don't know how noble I am becoming, but I definitely admire those traits. I believe in putting your beliefs and thoughts into action, and standing for what you say. I believe in the power of positive thought and action. I try hard to live them, and that in its self is enlightening, humbling, and a sometimes disappointing aspect in my life. I reach for the potential, and end up crawling most the time.
That one is hard to live daily, but I have found when it can be done its worth the effort. "Actions speak louder than Words" "They will know you by your works" "Do what you say, and say what you mean" "Stand by your word it defines who you are" so many more sayings that apply here I could go on forever with them. Ah what a tangled web we weave, all those words so simple in concept, and yet so hard to live daily. To live some you must sometimes live in contradiction to yourself in order to be true to yourself, and live up to the shades of gray, that is life, that shade the black and white of the "right choice'. The key to always moving forward requires that you must always remain vigilant and aware, like the guard who stands his duty on the watchtower of a battlefield. Take your eyes from the goal, and it could mean loss of life, and in this realm never reaching what you set out for, or experiencing the joy of trying and seeing results. I know, I tell myself "Get Real" you are only human. The greatest potential of man is his humanity, and his biggest "Achilles Heel" that can lead to his own self destruction.
Anyway, I am too scattered sometimes 'My Gemini Moon', and impatient 'My Mars and Sun Sign'. I get bored with detail, and rush a head. I am trying to learn to finish what I start with patience and complete knowledge, at least what is humanly possible. I leap a head with a concept, before I know all the details, patterns, and means to an end, although I already see the big picture. That is where I stumble, because I see the 'big picture" I leap, without securing all the necessary information. I am thankful for the Mercury in my chart, and my philosophical nature compliments of my Sun sign. It has been very helpful to me in learning, accepting, and moving forward in life.
In my reading I have been learning about Pluto and Saturn and Neptune. I have learned to like all three. In my previous thinking I viewed them as opposites with little in common with me. The big "bad asses" of the horoscope to be feared, and watched for since its impossible to avoid them. Surprisingly I actually have a lot in common with Pluto "shocking", and Saturn who I have always kind of like a little *the carpenter, architect, builder and fixer of the horoscope* (My daddy like to work with his hands, and could easily be describe with those same words), and Neptune who 'as he should be' still hard to understand, but enlightening, mysterious, and charismatic in a hypnotic way.
I started to view them as characters, and understand how they interacted with each other and my chart. I grew to know them better, and therefore have gleaned some fondness for them as I do the characters I write about. I am still a little wary of them when they hit my current transits, but for the most part good things have come of it, and changes that needed changing. I went back and looked at my transits during some of the toughest and roughest years of my life. Its was very interesting and enlightening.
I have reached a point in my life where I can retire young, and start another career. I want to be a published writer, but many angst, feelings of it being far away, and fear still rage and battle me in that realm. I doubt my ability, my own intellect at times. This being one my greatest challenges in life. I'm trying to decide my future what to do, where to go... I plan to move to Florida from Texas I hope this year or end of year, which does mean retirement. But what to do with the rest of my life? Stepping out into the unknown so many variables and possibilities.
Anyway I really appreciate your posting to me. I got a little long winded in my response. It was my enthusiasm about the fact you took time to reply. This is so much fun.
Wishing you the best as well wherever life leads or takes you.
The Archer