I appologize to everyone who answered this post, I did not realize there were replies!
What I meant by the post - a long time ago, mind you - is something I can express with a sense of a little more clarity now. It's that I felt a sharp distinction between personality and experiences, and who we are. I literally have no idea what I think of this in this instance, but that is what I meant.
I didn't know anything about Vedic astrology at the time, but I now have a sense of, if you look at your Vedic Rasi chart, or even just your Western chart using the sidereal zodiac, you will notice the story of your circumstances. Your childhood. Look to the signs on the cardinal houses and keep your interpretations of them as basic and tangible as you can, and you will notice the link to your attitude to life, self-concept (1 and 7) and your relationship to your parents (4 and 10). Western is thought to be a lot more psychological than tangible, which is why I had a hard time relating older views about the axes, the Sun and Moon, to the sign placements they are in in my chart. Even so, just because it is psychological, and therefore more ego-oriented, it that who we are?
I was struggling with the notion that perhaps our charts could only display how we behaved, and not how we felt inside. Because I was lacking the sense at the time that astrology communities acknowledge the fact that
everyone has emotions, just that they are processed differently. I am a very emotional person and given that I have a water imbalance, this was a very sensitive issue that was fiercely threatening my self-concept to say the least.
I just wanted someone to either say, no no, don't worry child, here is why it is clear that you are in fact a very deep-feeling person. That or, the usual - "you're low on water so not at all." And worst of all.... "And by the way your Pisces rising makes you a fake emotional." Because those were the messages I felt I was receiving at the time, so I thought I'd give that a last shot, since I was in my initial phase of learning astrology and not even convinced it was worth bothering with.
It's all good, Zarathu, thanks
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Very interesting.