Is my friend being "Catfished?"

anjelik

Well-known member
I am not even sure how I would go about interpreting this, so I was hoping for some insight.

A friend of mine began talking to some guy on a dating site about a week ago and she is also going bananas for him. The catch here is that the man lives in South Africa. Upon her giving me the back story many things are unclear and I feel like she is omitting information. I found it very strange that someone in South Africa would join an American dating site - she cannot use her login to access the site in other countries and only the .com domain works for her membership so I would think the same would apply globally. It seems a little suspect to me, but of course I question everyone's motives constantly. Anyway, he has been what'sapping her and they have spoken on the phone so we do know he actually does live in South Africa, but is he who he says he is? Also, he has told her he will be coming to NY in October but has not given her a definitive date - is he attempting to do a "Bachelor" kind of situation where he lines up a bunch of dates to find an eligible lady in the US? Lastly, what is his true intention of joining a US dating site? He is 46 and supposedly quite wealthy so I doubt he is looking for a green card. Basically I am wondering what this man's intentions are and if my friend is just going to wind up very disappointed in the end.

Anyone care to give it a go? My gut indicates that she should not even bother getting further involved. Also, is there something about this she is not telling me? Her explanation about how they came to start talking was very very vague. She has a heavy Scorpio chart so I am kind of used to this with her.
 

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Zarathu

Account Closed
Again, IMO, the horary is kind of hard to be sure that you are going to get an accurate description, since you are not asking a question that is deep and personal to YOU. It brings in the multiple birth times conundrum.

But I agree with Heavensmystery that this doesn't need a horary, it needs common sense. I wouldn't get involved with someone who you have no other references for. Would she go out with some guy who knocks on the door of her apartment and says that he's seen her from afar and wants to date her?

If she persists, I would encourage her to arrange something for coffee, and he wear some kind of flower, and if she doesn't like the looks of him, not to follow up. If I were her I would go for coffee with him with a friend, preferably male.
 

anjelik

Well-known member
Again, IMO, the horary is kind of hard to be sure that you are going to get an accurate description, since you are not asking a question that is deep and personal to YOU. It brings in the multiple birth times conundrum.

But I agree with Heavensmystery that this doesn't need a horary, it needs common sense. I wouldn't get involved with someone who you have no other references for. Would she go out with some guy who knocks on the door of her apartment and says that he's seen her from afar and wants to date her?

If she persists, I would encourage her to arrange something for coffee, and he wear some kind of flower, and if she doesn't like the looks of him, not to follow up. If I were her I would go for coffee with him with a friend, preferably male.

I clearly don't trust it, which is why I decided to ask the question. He currently lives in Cape Town and has his whole life. I guess I will just have to watch and see.
 

waybread

Well-known member
You don't need a Horary for this. use your common sense. He is surely there after Her - with an intention for getting tented in US LOL.

I agree. Your friend has no idea who this man is. Scam artists post pictures of "themselves" that turn out to be models' pictures gleaned from the Internet. Pedophiles chat up young girls in order to seduce them. Anyone can say he is wealthy and yet not have a dime. Wealthy people who also have a sense of good taste don't talk about their money.
 

dr. farr

Well-known member
(Following is not in accordance with standard horary dogma and uses whole sign house format)

-the friend of the querent = 11th house = Scorpio = Mars
-the person of interest to the querent's friend = 7th from the 11th house = Taurus = Venus
-the SN is in Taurus = - testimony regarding this individual
-Venus flows away from the querent's friend's significator Mars = - testimony for a + relationship

...answer to the question: yes the querent's friend is likely being "catfished" by this other person.
 

rafaella

Well-known member
I don't think there is any issue with querent asking the question, there is a genuine concern for her friend. This is a valid question, in my opinion.

Your friend is Jupiter, exalted but cadent - whenever I see a significator exalted, its like seeing someone with an exaggerated sense of excitement, exhiliration, which perhaps causes her to believe in things without thinking twice. Her ruler cadent in 6th takes that strength away from Jupiter in someway, so she may be more susceptible to things that may not be good for her.

Mercury, the guy she has interest in is combust, 8th house but has essential dignity. What this tells me, Mercury has some good qualities, which are currently under the radar (combustion). Some may take this combustion to be severe, however I see Mercury to have rulership over Sun here, so it is not completely corrupt, but there are things that make Mercury hide certain factors about himself. 8th house also is an unfortunate house which again weakens whatever goodness that dignified Mercury may have. Mercury aspects Jupiter, so he is seeking her and is in detriment of Jupiter. This does show he has no real interest in her yet for some reason seeking her...?

Moon will soon lose dignity and aspects malefic Mars which points to the next event not being positive in nature. Also, Moon at 29 Taurus is conjunct fixed star Alcyone (Pleiades) - weeping sisters. This star does point to the fact that if she pursues this relationship, there will be something to 'weep' about. There will be regret and things may not turn out well. Pleiades afflicts the eyesight so in a way it points to whoever's significator is on it, cannot see clearly, is deluded. Moon being the significator of the question, the planet that generally shows the outcome points to this relationship being very much based on untrue facts.

I do hope you can help her be more careful...I suppose you may not be able to completely prevent her from talking to him, but perhaps you can be present when she meets him in Oct, if that will happen (which I doubt).


Best wishes!
 

anjelik

Well-known member
I don't think there is any issue with querent asking the question, there is a genuine concern for her friend. This is a valid question, in my opinion.

Your friend is Jupiter, exalted but cadent - whenever I see a significator exalted, its like seeing someone with an exaggerated sense of excitement, exhiliration, which perhaps causes her to believe in things without thinking twice. Her ruler cadent in 6th takes that strength away from Jupiter in someway, so she may be more susceptible to things that may not be good for her.

Mercury, the guy she has interest in is combust, 8th house but has essential dignity. What this tells me, Mercury has some good qualities, which are currently under the radar (combustion). Some may take this combustion to be severe, however I see Mercury to have rulership over Sun here, so it is not completely corrupt, but there are things that make Mercury hide certain factors about himself. 8th house also is an unfortunate house which again weakens whatever goodness that dignified Mercury may have. Mercury aspects Jupiter, so he is seeking her and is in detriment of Jupiter. This does show he has no real interest in her yet for some reason seeking her...?

Moon will soon lose dignity and aspects malefic Mars which points to the next event not being positive in nature. Also, Moon at 29 Taurus is conjunct fixed star Alcyone (Pleiades) - weeping sisters. This star does point to the fact that if she pursues this relationship, there will be something to 'weep' about. There will be regret and things may not turn out well. Pleiades afflicts the eyesight so in a way it points to whoever's significator is on it, cannot see clearly, is deluded. Moon being the significator of the question, the planet that generally shows the outcome points to this relationship being very much based on untrue facts.

I do hope you can help her be more careful...I suppose you may not be able to completely prevent her from talking to him, but perhaps you can be present when she meets him in Oct, if that will happen (which I doubt).


Best wishes!

Thank you for that. She does seem overly excited for not actually knowing this person, or even knowing someone that knows him. I've gone on internet dates, but they were never this ridiculous. Usually the person emails you from whatever dating site you are on and then after a few exchanges you decide to meet up for a drink or coffee or whatever. This is a giant red flag to me. She is trying to compare this to my relationship with my boyfriend because we met while I was in London. The main difference here is that I knew his cousin in the US for 3 years and he set me up to meet him. It's not some random stranger and she doesn't seem to get the difference.

Well, she doesn't seem to want to listen so I will just have to watch the entire car crash. She is being ridiculous and playing silly text / what'sApp games. She just texted me asking me to add him on what'sApp so I can see when he was last online. I don't see this turning out well at all.
 
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anjelik

Well-known member
So this guy sent her a first class ticket to Paris and booked her a room in one of the best hotels in Paris. She is meeting him in 3 weeks but they still haven't Skyped. Perhaps he is who he is saying he is. Whenever I bring it up to her to confirm she says she will just see how he is when she meets him. She is overly excited, although she is trying to pretend she is "playing it cool." Based on the horary could it work out for her? I hope so. She is going through ridiculous lengths for this - even went and spent over $5,000 on some cosmetic surgery procedures (Botox, some sort of skin graphing on her face, chest and hands and some laser lipo).
 
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waybread

Well-known member
I hope that the plane ticket and hotel revs weren't based on a fraudulent credit card. The fact that they never skyped is suspicious: doesn't he wish to see her in person, and vice versa before they meet?

I trust your instincts, but as you said above, I doubt that you can stop "the entire car crash."
 

anjelik

Well-known member
I hope that the plane ticket and hotel revs weren't based on a fraudulent credit card. The fact that they never skyped is suspicious: doesn't he wish to see her in person, and vice versa before they meet?

I trust your instincts, but as you said above, I doubt that you can stop "the entire car crash."

I don't know. I am trying to get his last name out of her on the sly but I only have his first name, which is a nickname for his first (but I'm intelligent enough to guess the whole thing.. could be one of two names). I never thought about the fraudulent credit cards, but wouldn't that be caught this far in advance? Apparently he is exceedingly wealthy, which also makes me even more suspicious. If he has a Maserati and all of these cars and is worth millions then why is he looking for women on an American dating site? I want to be supportive but also don't want to see my friend completely destroyed. The problem is if you're "too realistic" people will think you are just being negative. So I've chosen the supportive yet slightly skeptical approach when speaking with her. I've still urged her to Skype, but she is still against it. I think she doesn't want to because she knows there will be something she doesn't like. Which is also strange - it's like she would rather be in denial. It could be real - romance happens in the strangest ways at times. You just never know. But I really don't want to see her get hurt and also embarrassed. She has told everyone at work about this, etc. I would have kept it to myself.
 

anjelik

Well-known member
I hope she is not in for a big disappointment, and I hope that my horary conclusion was incorrect!

Haha me too!!! Please let it be wrong! Perhaps I asked the question too early and he didn't know how he felt yet. I don't pray, but maybe I will start.
 

rafaella

Well-known member
So this guy sent her a first class ticket to Paris and booked her a room in one of the best hotels in Paris. She is meeting him in 3 weeks but they still haven't Skyped. Perhaps he is who he is saying he is. Whenever I bring it up to her to confirm she says she will just see how he is when she meets him. She is overly excited, although she is trying to pretend she is "playing it cool." Based on the horary could it work out for her? I hope so. She is going through ridiculous lengths for this - even went and spent over $5,000 on some cosmetic surgery procedures (Botox, some sort of skin graphing on her face, chest and hands and some laser lipo).

Frankly, it sounds too good to be true. A genuine guy probably wouldn't spend that much money on someone he hardly knows. He would first get to know her. The fact that he is so hurriedly buying expensive tickets etc, just seems very suspicious. If this was my friend, I'd rather have her meet him locally, in her own town, that way she would feel more secure, she knows her town well, has family/friends who can help or accompany her and can escape if things go bad... In a foreign country, she will feel much more insecure if things go bad and will place herself in unnecessary danger. I really hope he is genuine and things go well for her.

Please keep us posted :)
 

anjelik

Well-known member
Frankly, it sounds too good to be true. A genuine guy probably wouldn't spend that much money on someone he hardly knows. He would first get to know her. The fact that he is so hurriedly buying expensive tickets etc, just seems very suspicious. If this was my friend, I'd rather have her meet him locally, in her own town, that way she would feel more secure, she knows her town well, has family/friends who can help or accompany her and can escape if things go bad... In a foreign country, she will feel much more insecure if things go bad and will place herself in unnecessary danger. I really hope he is genuine and things go well for her.

Please keep us posted :)

She is very familiar with Paris and her best friend from childhood lives there so she will be ok (she even speaks French). I have never dated a millionaire so I don't know if this is typical behavior. She only dates wealthy men - in fact she has never really mentioned what she likes about him other than how successful and rich he is. So maybe she is just into him based on the prospect of what he can offer her. It's interesting that she seems to attract very wealthy men on the regular. I don't think I've ever attracted one! Hahaha! :)
 

unteruber

Well-known member
She is very familiar with Paris and her best friend from childhood lives there so she will be ok (she even speaks French). I have never dated a millionaire so I don't know if this is typical behavior. She only dates wealthy men - in fact she has never really mentioned what she likes about him other than how successful and rich he is. So maybe she is just into him based on the prospect of what he can offer her. It's interesting that she seems to attract very wealthy men on the regular. I don't think I've ever attracted one! Hahaha! :)

In other words it's he who is getting catfished ;)
 

anjelik

Well-known member
Seems somebody is:andy:! The chart did indicate "catfishing" going on:pinched:!

Haha did it? So, it says someone is being catfished but not who? So it could be that he will be disappointed?

One thing she mentioned about him is that he is unwilling to Skype and will not give her a reason why. And I think it is a power play.. which will only work against her in this kind of situation because a long distance romance (from personal experience) requires a lot of compromise and someone willing to give. If he is not willing to give in now, he never will. And perhaps that is where the disappoint will come in? She may never really get what she wants, which is a real relationship where she wants to live and not in South Africa, as he's indicated.

This is a Scorpio friend of mine but I don't agree with many of her life decisions. But of course, as a typical Pisces Sun I really don't care to judge someone based on things they do and can be pretty accepting of stuff. This wouldn't be the first time she has used someone for money. I think some other guy actually paid for all of that cosmetic surgery for her (she kind of hinted at that when she was telling me about it and trying to convince me to get some...which I don't want any at this time in my life because I am happy with the way I look and don't want to begin messing with that now).
 
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