Hi Tina,
I am not good at interpreting transits or progression, so I cannot help about why this is hapening in your life now.
I studied mostly the meaning of natal chart.
Regarding this, North Node in 8th house is by definition spiritual and involves renewal through loss and freedom through sublimation. If you didn’t actively searched for spiritual meanings in your life, the transformation may come through crises. In Aries is touching your identity at the most personal level.
Knowing that almost all the people on Earth get partial satisfaction and realization of what the soul desire, it is resonable to think that from a transcedental perspective the purpose of an individual in a lifetime is a constructive process with a far reaching target.
South Node in Libra show you have amazing skills of cooperation and innate diplomacy. Virgo ascendant speaks about an organized personality, with very good mental capacity and predisposition to stress from anxiety (for imaginary reason). Cancer Moon means you are naturally attuned to your and (11th house) others emotions.
Sun in Saggitarius is an optimistic and beneficial position to have. Saggitarians have a natural joy and benevolence when is not distructed by ambitions rooted in pseudovalues when Soul have no voice for the choices that are made. Personality is constructed like a garment over the soul, if not harmonious (and never is, because personality is a result of social interaction combined with soul predisposition and familial imprints) then a hidden continuous battle arises between soul and personality. Most of the time personality win with the cost of losing of the inner voice.
My perception is that the biggest problem to face the challenges (that came naturally in your way) is Pluto in the first house. You live with the illusion of control. This is great to have when you find yourself in a position of authority because you have an inherent self-control that others find to be compelling.
This illusion of control, is what is to be destroyed at some moment in life. Unless your will is rooted in universal compassion and cosmic consciousness (and who knows if this is always enough) the illusion may be replaced with surrender to a higher instance and a subsequent consciousness growing. As a product of a certain kind of society, we carry its weakness, the inflation of the Ego over the soul dimension. Or maybe I am wrong, there is no soul, the society is a jungle in the cosmic crucible that recycle material substance with no higher purpose. It may be of help for you to contemplate the concept of self-sufficiency. The moments of change are painfull, because we all tend to cling to the conventional truth and comfort.
So, first problem. Ex-husband doesn’t want the formal divorce. Well, what do you value, the freedom you have or what people say, or who is the final decident of the fait accompli? As long as he want to keep you at an arm’s lenght and you already looked for somebody else, have you done it for yourself or for him?
What is the meaning of an ending of a relationship from a soul perspective? Is this all that was to be good between the two of you? Depending the answer, you should know what attitude is correct for both of you. Blaming him helps no one. You may think about accepting his unaaceptance with the friendship that kept you close for so long.
Second problem, the position changing to the job. As long as you ar good at your job, you will always find someone to appreciate and to pay you for the work you do. The attachement that comes with time, and 1st house Pluto, shows you have difficulty with changes (we all have at some degree, is in our genes and in physics – the first principle of newtonian mechanic).
When you are in pain you should look for ways to feed your Moon and 4th house. Moon in cancer speaks about sensibility and empathy, and in 11th house you tend to mother everyone. Moon in cancer is very sensible and also easily to hurt. In retreating within yourself you should find peace. There, you might find the power to define your role in the context of a new relationship, new job, and etc.
I think that personal challenges that are symptomatic through illneses, solitude or depression call for adjustments toward ourselves.
When the challenging is on the relations, romantic, familial, job, when others are also decisional factors, is more like an adjustment toward the others. You may use your South Node supporting ability to grasp what adjustment is needed to regain harmony.
The story you tell to yourself about the past may also be in terms of „how I am always following my heart”.