In need of some light in the darkness

darker forces... in general, they function, as far as I've discovered, but feeding off. As soon as you stop letting yourself be a source of what they need, oh they may weep because it's not only you who's realizing the whole game of it all, but anyone you may touch

Just remember, we are endlessly powerful creatures. Anything that seems to be a hindrance, to hold us back... that's not what it's there for. You learn from it, you use it to fuel the present actions you take toward your future and the shackles without struggle are released

conspiracy theorist said:

Not at all. In fact, I was more interested in the fact that this personality of yours acquired a precision that you've never really articulated before, especially when you just came along. As one on the outside looking in, it looks like an evolution to me. What was the catalyst?

I can satiate my fix for demons elsewhere. Interesting that you think that's the only reason why I responded.

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I honestly can't say if this is a normal course for everyone or not, but I do know things are rapidly transforming for me. And I grew up depression, anxious(since as far back as I can remember which is 4 yrs old), eventually I started to feel weak and lost and there was a lot of darkness

Boringly, my life has very much been about discovering my power and realizing that right now, more than ever, I need to start using it. And as much as you may despise newageism, 'cocreating' my reality. I don't fully understand the term, but I enjoy because I believe, without looking it up, that it acknowledges our ability to exert power over the course of our lives from the present on and referencing the past as a creative force, but also acknowledging that there is a collective force at play which is important to me

I know I'm being called right now to embrace all my power. And believe me, this is coming from someone who believed she had so little power it wasn't even worth it to put any effort into anything, even things i may have desired like writing

Yes this is very new because I realize just like magic, reality doesn't happen to us, but we happen to reality. And I'm still in the trial period, I'll admit, but I feel hopeful. And that's because I know that it really is all in my power

And I cannot deny, there have been so many positive messages from people around me and from the universe in general, chance meetings and all, all that point me to something possibly incorporeal or the universe on my side and I can't deny that. I've had so many positive forces come into my life and I know that's for a reason and I can't just leave them unattended, I can't just squander them

I believe some people may see me as insane, but I know I'm not. I call myself insane jokingly. But I've just realized that the reality we've been served in conventional thought is ********. I mean what rational thinker could actually come to the conclusion that any one individual, even people in 'high academic authority' can say with certainty what exists and what doesn't? No one can...what's true and what isn't. None of us know

The truth is, we're left here to find our own power in our minds, in our souls, in our hearts, and of course with any aid from spiritual guides which I hear we all have

I can also feel a magic in my life, tho that's hard to describe. It's mostly in the bounds of luck and positive forces coming in right when I need them


--
So in short, this is new for me. It's been with the help of some good people understanding that I'm a very powerful being. I'm beginning to realize that. All my anxieties I've had throughout my life were all...just delusion. In truth, the power knows no bounds


I don't know what's to come next, but I'm a pretty chaotic person still

What's so boring about finding where your true power lies?

conspiracy theorist said:

What's so boring about finding where your true power lies?

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Well I meant it's boring...the classic story of someone who feels weak and powerless and starts coming into their power. It's overdone in movies and the such, but maybe it's because we can all relate in our own ways






power of consciousness

Power... I swear, that's been one of my most used words on this forum and otherwise for a whole year, and more


Power


Believe me. All of us have the power to 'cocreate' our realities and to no longer let anything leech off of us. Seizing that power will no happen over night, but it'll happen

I met a woman who saw and heard people since she was 5 and I asked her, 'how do you know you're not just psychic'? Yet there she was in a mental facility. And the funny thing was that she agreed. She told me thank you and just explained that no one else believed her
Now if we can see something and hear something, how can we just right it off as untrue. We don't know what's true and what's not, not with certainty. I told her that and she agreed. She wholeheartedly thanked me and told me she'd remember that, what I said and that one person believed her

So I can hope I made a positive influence


Because true to the message of Legion, mental illness can and will leech off of us and make us weak, make us not believe what we would otherwise know to be true. I suspect, but can't say for sure, that that's a major message of Legion. It acknowledges that what we believe to be mental illness can draw from us and make us weak, but also that there is power to be found, possibly power that others may not quite understand and so it may be isolating at times but that's ok

True story, if a little off topic: I was once friends (ages and ages ago) with one of Bill Cosby's accusers. I remember her telling me her story about him in her car, (which she did not tell to pretty much anyone at all at the time) she was in tears, and told me that not even her therapist believed her, because of who he was. I'm linking this to your story of your possibly psychic friend because even in the mundane (non astral, psychic) world there is a dominant "reality" and if you dare question it with your alternate reality the avalanche of dogma will try to bury you. Question it.

Questioning dominant mundane reality, great phrase and so right! Theres not a worse feeling when a dominant reality which is false, remains to be seen as true.

Starsareround said:

True story, if a little off topic: I was once friends (ages and ages ago) with one of Bill Cosby's accusers. I remember her telling me her story about him in her car, (which she did not tell to pretty much anyone at all at the time) she was in tears, and told me that not even her therapist believed her, because of who he was. I'm linking this to your story of your possibly psychic friend because even in the mundane (non astral, psychic) world there is a dominant "reality" and if you dare question it with your alternate reality the avalanche of dogma will try to bury you. Question it.

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Oh yeah. And I KNOW that Hollywood is so corrupt that men in power, and I'm sure women too, are allowed so many years of grace. They begin to abuse their power and they can get away with it because these people in power have teams behind them guarding the public's perception of them. It's horrible

It brings me to the question if an otherwise decent human being given the right amount of power, testing their boundaries, could begin to abuse that power whereas if they weren't given that power, they'd seem a decent human being. It makes me question many things...
1. the effects of power on man

2. for how many their actions are governed simply by the knowledge that they don't have the power to do what they would desire to do if they knew they could get away with it
It makes me question a lot about human nature and our relationship with power

This is more in the noncorporeal portion of reality again...
As a child I was very much a dreamer. I remember asserting things to be true that were outright against conventional thought. I was very much lost in my own little reality. For instance, I believed dragons once existed and I argued with my parents about it only because I wanted them to have existed. Granted, stranger fossils have been found and I'm of the belief folklore has roots in some reality

However reality exists. We do share a reality, I know. I began to lose confidence in myself and my thoughts, my mind, my points of view. I thought I was an illogical idiot and eventually as a teenager I tried to conform

Though with all things, I think it takes balance

Where I am now, I don't believe we can say for certain what's true and what's not as making such assertions would be to have absolute trust in both our minds and our levels of knowledge which are everexpanding. So I don't believe in drawing lines, I don't believe in a box

I'm not the dreamer I was as a child where anything I pleased was true, but I'm able to extinguish the box and acknowledge that there is infinite more to learn about this 'reality' of ours, this universe, this dimension, the multidimensional reality

My point being that I'm at a place where I can say all that with complete confidence. People locked into conventional thinking may think me insane, but I know I'm not. The box to me does not exist and I don't see how rationally it should


I also quite question the conception of reality. I know we all share a reality, but our perception of reality is not all the same. Some people are able to push the laws of physics because their perception of reality has been built in such a fashion

Lykanized said:

For instance, I believed dragons once existed and I argued with my parents about it only because I wanted them to have existed. Granted, stranger fossils have been found and I'm of the belief folklore has roots in some reality

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Dragons can mean more than one thing. In Asia, dragons are the embodiment of natural energy--chi, or ki. A dragon could be a river, or a tree, or the wind (I've seen drawings that put the dragon in the river or the tree). Several myths worldwide put a dragon or a giant serpent (which might really be the same thing) under the ocean, or holding up the earth--or the earth itself is the dragon. The sleeping dragon underground might stir once in a while... that's when there's an earthquake.

If you consider the dragon to be a literal animal that lived once upon a time--we do have its fossils. Only we call them dinosaurs.

Osamenor said:

Dragons can mean more than one thing. In Asia, dragons are the embodiment of natural energy--chi, or ki. A dragon could be a river, or a tree, or the wind (I've seen drawings that put the dragon in the river or the tree). Several myths worldwide put a dragon or a giant serpent (which might really be the same thing) under the ocean, or holding up the earth--or the earth itself is the dragon. The sleeping dragon underground might stir once in a while... that's when there's an earthquake.

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I love this interpretation... that, as a lover of symbolism and philosophy

However, it's quite possible dragonlike creatures really do exist in the oceans. I always find it a tip off when there are similar creatures in various detached folklores, people isolated from each other. Although I believe there's much to be studied psychologically as well as considering the actual bounds of 'reality'

What I believe wholeheartedly in is the various beasts of areas in England, Scotland, and Ireland. I don't know if they're aliens, government experiments, or what, but I believe they exist-- Humanoid type creatures but who are either feline or canine

If you consider the dragon to be a literal animal that lived once upon a time--we do have its fossils. Only we call them dinosaurs.

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I'm serious. I believed in the fire breathing, treasure protecting, hunt for the wyrm type of ****. I would read very fantastical things and believe them wholeheartedly up until the age of even 13 perhaps. I was just in my own world. I believed they even still existed

Lykanized said:

I'm serious. I believed in the fire breathing, treasure protecting, hunt for the wyrm type of ****. I would read very fantastical things and believe them wholeheartedly up until the age of even 13 perhaps. I was just in my own world. I believed they even still existed

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I think the treasure protecting part is a race memory of our distant ancestors--possibly even pre-human ancestors--eating the eggs of large reptilian creatures. Giant snakes, perhaps. Something basilisk-like (as in the Harry Potter basilisk--there actually is a snake called a basilisk, but it's much smaller).

Such an egg would be very difficult to obtain. It would take the bravest hero to attempt it. The mother would, of course, defend it fiercely (although if she was nesting her egg, that right there would be a very different kind of reptile from the ones we know today. There are a few snakes that hatch their eggs inside their bodies and then give live birth, but egg laying reptiles just lay their eggs and leave them). And the egg would be a treasure, because it was a highly valuable, and rarely obtainable, source of nutrients.

Lykanized said:

I love this interpretation... that, as a lover of symbolism and philosophy

However, it's quite possible dragonlike creatures really do exist in the oceans. I always find it a tip off when there are similar creatures in various detached folklores, people isolated from each other. Although I believe there's much to be studied psychologically as well as considering the actual bounds of 'reality'

What I believe wholeheartedly in is the various beasts of areas in England, Scotland, and Ireland. I don't know if they're aliens, government experiments, or what, but I believe they exist-- Humanoid type creatures but who are either feline or canine

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Perhaps. Or perhaps they exist on a spirit level.

I saw Sasquatch once. Only it wasn't a corporeal one. I was driving down a road--rural but not isolated, there were plenty of houses on either side of the road, and the town proper was less than a mile away--and saw, in the rear view mirror, a figure crossing the road. Looked rather like the blurry shadow of a very tall person--I thought at first that a tall person with a backpacker's pack on was lurching across the road, but I couldn't see them clearly, I'd just glimpsed them out of the corner of my eye.

Then I glanced back again and the road was completely empty.

First thing I thought was, okay, I'm seeing things. My eyes are playing tricks on me. My next thought was, so why am I seeing that particular thing?

I think what i saw was a spirit Sasquatch. There, but not corporeal. Maybe that's why all the photos of Sasquatch look so blurry--that is what it looks like.

Osamenor said:

I think the treasure protecting part is a race memory of our distant ancestors--possibly even pre-human ancestors--eating the eggs of large reptilian creatures. Giant snakes, perhaps. Something basilisk-like (as in the Harry Potter basilisk--there actually is a snake called a basilisk, but it's much smaller).

Such an egg would be very difficult to obtain. It would take the bravest hero to attempt it. The mother would, of course, defend it fiercely (although if she was nesting her egg, that right there would be a very different kind of reptile from the ones we know today. There are a few snakes that hatch their eggs inside their bodies and then give live birth, but egg laying reptiles just lay their eggs and leave them). And the egg would be a treasure, because it was a highly valuable, and rarely obtainable, source of nutrients.

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I feel like you are infinitely deeper and wiser than I am. I hope you're a lot older than I am so I still have my time to gain depth and wisdo


What do you mean there's a treasure protecting part of our distant ancestry? If I was to take it symbolically as I do many, but not all, god, there were many means of personifying or giving corporeal form to force we had to grapple with, which we perceive to be transcendent or beyond our power. So if we have a treasure keeping dragon, it's like prosperity is the transcendent force. Not even prosperity, something more, something more wonderous. To more primordial beings, they may have perceived so much out there to be discovered and gained, but discovering and gaining such things would've literally been a monstrous task. Added to the fact that with the idea of the wonderous nature of an unexplored world was also the unexpected treachery

And it is quite interesting hero tales are prevalent in basically every culture. Like the hero who could brave the unknown and reap the rewards and give others hope. Perhaps the driving force of empires an dynasties that have lead to so much darkness today

Fyi, I haven't read much of anything. I'm still tackling my Gemini SN and trying to tap into my Sag NN

In other cases, I believe some 'gods' were simply higher consciousness beings which may not have had the best of intentions for us taking advantage of our lack of knowledge. Why human sacrifice would've become a custom around many ancient cultures is beyond me. We're a race bent on survival and human sacrifice is not in line with that
'
I've expressed I'm quite passionate that real 'gods' or benevolent higher consciousness beings dont' demand worship or sacrifice because they don't need it

I know I'm getting offtopic...

Lykanized said:

I feel like you are infinitely deeper and wiser than I am. I hope you're a lot older than I am so I still have my time to gain depth and wisdo

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I'm 43. You're what, 25? Older, yes, but not infinitely!

Lykanized said:

What do you mean there's a treasure protecting part of our distant ancestry? If I was to take it symbolically as I do many, but not all, god, there were many means of personifying or giving corporeal form to force we had to grapple with, which we perceive to be transcendent or beyond our power. So if we have a treasure keeping dragon, it's like prosperity is the transcendent force. Not even prosperity, something more, something more wonderous. To more primordial beings, they may have perceived so much out there to be discovered and gained, but discovering and gaining such things would've literally been a monstrous task. Added to the fact that with the idea of the wonderous nature of an unexplored world was also the unexpected treachery

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My thought on the treasure protecting dragon is much simpler, not profound at all. The treasure is simply the dragon's egg (dragon being this giant reptile--maybe a snake, maybe something that existed in the megafauna era--or maybe an ordinary size snake that still exists, and these primordial ancestors were much smaller mammals). The dragon is, naturally, protecting her egg. The hero who steals the dragons egg is the one who took on the task of getting it for his people to eat. It's a treasure to the people because it's so nutritious and so hard to get.

The only difference between this possible historical (or prehistorical) dragon and currently existing reptiles is that there are not, as far as I know, any reptiles that guard their eggs. But if one did guard its eggs, it would defend them fiercely.

By "treasure protecting part," I meant the part of the dragon myth that says dragons protect treasure.

Osamenor said:

I'm 43. You're what, 25? Older, yes, but not infinitely!

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Ok. Nearly 20 years so I have some time to catch up lmao
On a sidenote... This past weekend was the first time in my life I ever had anyone look at me as 'wiser and older'. They put me in the same suit as a 40 year old. She was a 19 year old girl tho. When I was her age, I was so lost. More than lost...Our 20s are definitely incredibly transformative

My thought on the treasure protecting dragon is much simpler, not profound at all. The treasure is simply the dragon's egg (dragon being this giant reptile--maybe a snake, maybe something that existed in the megafauna era--or maybe an ordinary size snake that still exists, and these primordial ancestors were much smaller mammals). The dragon is, naturally, protecting her egg. The hero who steals the dragons egg is the one who took on the task of getting it for his people to eat. It's a treasure to the people because it's so nutritious and so hard to get.

The only difference between this possible historical (or prehistorical) dragon and currently existing reptiles is that there are not, as far as I know, any reptiles that guard their eggs. But if one did guard its eggs, it would defend them fiercely.

By "treasure protecting part," I meant the part of the dragon myth that says dragons protect treasure.

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Interesting. I already mentioned folklore creatures. I believe some that do exist may not exist in the form we have in written record, but may indeed exist in other dimensions or I think I mentioned as possibly experiments


I believe in our primordial days it was easier and much more likely for creatures of higher consciousness or of other dimensions to make themselves seen to humankind. For instance, various legends that may be written off in modern day as pure myth, metaphor, imagination, need to find meaning in a world so obscure...
I find Hopi legend particularly fascinating and I love this article about the 'ant people' the Hopi have in the legends
https://www.ancient-origins.net/myths-legends-americas-opinion-guest-authors/ant-people-hopi-00927


Why certain creatures or beings may have made themselves more obscure may be for many reasons... Of course in our primordial states of humanity, we were searching for answers and some of the possible extradimensional creatures were either there to help, or to feed off of us(psychologically). Maybe we no longer needed the help at some point, or maybe we became too arrogant. Maybe they just needed to cut the cord and let us go
Sometimes Earth is referred to as a genetic project. Sometimes it's referred to as a project that many different races had interest in for various reason whether it be our oceans, us, the environment, or whatever else


If there were ever any dragons, perhaps they're not of this dimension but for some period of time were in our dimension



As for that treasure protecting aspect of the legend possibly being about eggs rather than the gold and jewels we may see in fantasy movies, I love that idea... Obviously dragons would be quite magnificent, large beasts. Not only would their eggs provide a lot of sustenance, but they may have been thought to have magical properties as many hard to attain things probably were thought to

I spoke already of project ideas I have...
That's one of the benefits of my inpatient stays...I had so much time to think of ideas. I'm not gonna lie, being stuck there can get grating, but I'm the kinda person who, if I'm stuck somewhere like that, I'm gonna find the positives. I'm not gonna focus on the negatives because I know that's only gonna make **** worse and negativity is also cancerous

I have spoken of novel ideas I have, story ideas. Since I'm first and foremost a poet, I got the idea to outline a first draft of what these stories are in my mind which will inevitably change through the years, but then to put the course of the stories into poetry collections

As I've expressed before, I believe poetry and stories go together. Poetry is the negative space. It's what by sheer nonexistence transcribes meaning of the story, of what doesn't exist. The story is the positive space. It's more straightforward, there's fewer open ends,...there's symbolism, but it's about what exists, what's happening, not primarily what it means

In every case..."show, don't tell"

I seriously recommend Legion... The television show. It may be my favorite show of all time right next to Fringe and this may even top Fringe. It's only in its second season, so we'll see what'll come

Lykanized said:

Ok. Nearly 20 years so I have some time to catch up lmao
On a sidenote... This past weekend was the first time in my life I ever had anyone look at me as 'wiser and older'. They put me in the same suit as a 40 year old. She was a 19 year old girl tho. When I was her age, I was so lost. More than lost...Our 20s are definitely incredibly transformative

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See, you've already caught up!

Seriously, all it takes is one person thinking you're older and wiser. For that person, at least, you are, and that's all that really matters. You don't become older and wiser to yourself. You become older and wiser to other people.

Lykanized said:

As for that treasure protecting aspect of the legend possibly being about eggs rather than the gold and jewels we may see in fantasy movies, I love that idea... Obviously dragons would be quite magnificent, large beasts. Not only would their eggs provide a lot of sustenance, but they may have been thought to have magical properties as many hard to attain things probably were thought to

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There's magic in any food that's directly acquired from the wild. The gathering and hunting lifestyle that humans lived by for more of their existence than not, depended on spiritual connections between people and the plants and animals they ate. Even agriculture required those spiritual connections in order to happen. Animals can't be domesticated without their consent (I saw that clearly ten years ago, when I "tamed" a feral cat--actually, the cat redomesticated herself for me. I saw her get more and more domestic with every interaction between us, until finally she decided to move in with me and stop being feral altogether). Plants all have their own essences--using them as food or medicine makes use of their spirit essence, not just their physical chemistry. To work with that essence, you don't just take it, you ask permission. You communicate with the plant.

There are a couple of great books that go into more depth on the magical and supernatural being simply the natural: David Abram's The Spell of the Sensuous (it's a surprisingly dense book, but refreshing... at the very least, read the ant story in the first chapter--it was a great perception shift when I read it), and, to some extent, Barbara Ehrenreich's Blood Rites. While Ehrenreich was writing primarily about the roots of war, she made a clear connection between religious ritual, blood sacrifices, and the primordial human experience of dealing with carnivores--both as the hunted and as the hunter.