Pluto aspects in Synastry - Who Has the Power?

LostinPhilly

Well-known member
On our synstry we have:

• (his) Pluto conjunct (my) Venus in our synastry
• (his) Pluto conjunct(my) Sun
• (his) Pluto conjunct (my) Mercury and;
• (his) Pluto sextile (my) Saturn.

His Pluto falls into my 5th house. My Venus and Pluto fall into his 6th house. His Mars and Saturn fall into my 7th house.

He definitely calls the shots as I believe he has the upper hand in the situation. The whole dynamic works according to his own plan, not mine. I can be pushing a hundred daisies at times and he wouldn't be fazed at times. It's very disconcerting. He comes and goes as he pleases. Even if I wanted to control, I wouldn't be able to because he swims away. I am the one who obsesses a bit (a lot), but he's the one deciding whether or not to move forward with our connection.

It's as though we're in this constant power battle even though we get along amazingly. He seems slightly controlling and possessive though which is quite odd because he doesn't strike me as a control freak (he's a Pisces). Yet, he wants to know about whether or not I'm talking to other men and such ... bizarre. I never ask about his past.

He however never fully vanished. He gave me a few doors to open in case I ever wanted to keep chasing. When he swam away the first two times, I was the one to vanish. He did this highly contradictory thing where he'd swim away and then start chasing whenever he gathered I wasn't gonna chase. Bizarre.

I want to add something to this.

I checked my synastry with my college boyfriend who was literally obsessed with me for years (he was online stalking me). It turns out that just like my Pisces, this Taurus' Pluto conjunct my Venus.

He was very very obsessive even when he was dating his now-wife. A month before his wedding, he was still stalking me online. It was very creepy. I never stalked him. I thought of him a lot, but I was not obsessive. He was, until I called him out on it and told him to leave me alone.

Hence, I'm not sure who is the most obsessive, Pluto or Venus?! In the instance with the Pisces, I'm the "obsessive" one. I'm not sure about how he truly feels about me or if he stalked me during these two years, but the obsession seems to be a theme.
 
Last edited:

anjelik

Well-known member
This is an interesting thread to me because my Pluto squares my husband's Mars and his Pluto is conjunct my Mars. I often wonder who has the power... haha! He has Mars (H5) square Pluto (H7) natal and I have a Mars/Pluto (and Saturn) conjunction (H8/9 cusp). I am not sure either one of us is anymore powerful than the other. I think my Saturn actually is the most authoritative out of all of that energy and calls the shots. His temper is in check because I don't allow it. I think the Pluto/Mars energy between us makes us more passionate and I am aware of a power struggle so I think it is something you have to mindfully balance or there would be outright war.
 

craft94

Well-known member
This is an interesting thread to me because my Pluto squares my husband's Mars and his Pluto is conjunct my Mars. I often wonder who has the power... haha! He has Mars (H5) square Pluto (H7) natal and I have a Mars/Pluto (and Saturn) conjunction (H8/9 cusp). I am not sure either one of us is anymore powerful than the other. I think my Saturn actually is the most authoritative out of all of that energy and calls the shots. His temper is in check because I don't allow it. I think the Pluto/Mars energy between us makes us more passionate and I am aware of a power struggle so I think it is something you have to mindfully balance or there would be outright war.

Are you the same age? Like, I have Sun/Mercury square Uranus/Neptune natal meaning I have this aspect with everyone in my age group. I'm not sure if I really feel it. I mean, I guess I have trouble relating to the collective values of my generation (for example, I hate social media...I could give more examples) I have trouble making/keeping friends with people too close in age and that could be the Uranus but other than that...

It's not like I feel a magical Neptunian connection with everyone I meet.
 
Last edited:

Flapjacks

Well-known member
I suppose I will add to this on a non-romantic relationship.

I recently discovered my boss' Pluto is conjunct my Venus in Virgo (my 4H) by 2 degrees. I don't have birth time, of course, so I don't know what house it falls in for him.

Venus doesn't just rule love but also resources and money. I'm gonna call my boss Pluto and refer to myself as Venus for the story of how we met:

Venus is working for peanuts at a small office by herself. One day, the head office tells Venus they are closing her down because another company has won over their only client at her office. The head office offers her a job but that requires her to move away from her home. Venus doesn't know what to do.

One day, Pluto walks through to door, sharply dressed and affluent. Venus asks Pluto how she may help him. Pluto tells Venus he is the owner of the company that stole her client and wants to hire her to work for him. He tells Venus that he'll pay her much more and she won't have to move away from home. Pluto won't take no for an answer. After careful consideration, Venus accepts.

This takes Venus in a dramatic new direction, gives her more money than she's been paid in her life, and might finally allow her to live comfortably. Venus and Pluto find they make a great team to pull in lucrative new clients. However, Venus is totally dependent on Pluto's resources, and Pluto is demanding of her time and energy.

Obsession and attraction don't figure in as a sexual desire, but the relationship between a Venus-Pluto contact still holds.
 
Last edited:

katydid

Well-known member
Very interesting case, Flapjack. Thanks. That illustrates how Pluto wields power in ways other than sexual relationships.

My niece had an intense power struggle with a Plutonian person , for over a decade until she gave up.

My niece was an astrology student and so I studied charts with her that she brought to me so she could learn about people she was closest to. She had a very intense Pluto by synastry conjunct her natal Venus/Moon in Leo going on.


In her natal chart she has Moon exactly conjunct Venus in Leo. [It is in her 12th with Late Leo rising. She has Sun and Mercury in late Gemini.]

Her husband had his Mars conjunct her Moon/Venus and his Sun was squaring that from Taurus in her 10th. They had great sexual attraction for each other and they fought a bit too much but there was great love and attraction and energy between them.


That was all well and good. But what went wrong? Why did she leave him and take their son to live in a nearby town? :pinched:

After his father died, his Mother came to 'stay' with them for awhile. :crying: Mother-in-law had her Pluto in Leo, exactly conjunct my niece's Moon/Venus. And conjunct her Son's Mars, square his Sun.

Her Pluto was the apex of a t-square between her Sun/Saturn opposition. She was a Scorpio with Saturn in Taurus. So her Son's Mars was right at that same apex. She had him under her thumb. He was like a 'wet blanket' around his Mom, according to my niece. He did everything she told him to do and he never questioned her or stood up to her.

His Mom has Pluto on his Mars and Saturn on his Sun, and they squared each other. And my niece's Moon/Venus was being destroyed by it, in her opinion. Her son was watching his Dad being de-masculated and she did not want to continue the experience.

Mom was the Pluto and she had the power. She had the keys to her son's large inheritance and she made him dance for it. And he lost his marriage and only sw his son every other weekend because of it. :sad:

:pluto: in :Leo: conjunct :Mars: in :Leo: conjunct :Moon: / :Venus: in 12th.
 
Last edited:

anjelik

Well-known member
Are you the same age? Like, I have Sun/Mercury square Uranus/Neptune natal meaning I have this aspect with everyone in my age group. I'm not sure if I really feel it. I mean, I guess I have trouble relating to the collective values of my generation (for example, I hate social media...I could give more examples) I have trouble making/keeping friends with people too close in age and that could be the Uranus but other than that...

It's not like I feel a magical Neptunian connection with everyone I meet.

No, he is four years older than me.
 

astro11

Well-known member
It is always the outer planet person who has the most power. If you are the inner planet person and feel you have more power it is due to other relational dynamics in the synastry/composite.

You asked about Pluto and one of my ex-boyfriends demonstrates this dynamic perfectly, since there were no other dynamics to make me interested in him. I was introduced to him by a relative, and he started attending my astronumerology classes, and shooting some instructional videos I wanted to make (before we started dating). He didn't reveal his feelings for about a month when all of this was happening. Then he found the courage to ask me out, and I said I would be busy at the time. But he persisted in giving me a choice of various other times to get lunch or dinner, and I accepted it more out of a thanks for all the work he did on my videos. I was never romantically attracted to him, and more appreciated him as a friend. I continued to go out with him for about 3 months to give him a chance but romantic feelings never developed towards him. In contrast, he was getting more and more invested in me, even bringing up marriage.

His Venus made an exact square to my Pluto, his Sun squared my Pluto by 2 degrees, and his Mercury squared my Pluto by 6 degrees. His Saturn made an exact semisextile to my Pluto. His moon made an exact square to my Pluto. I should mention that his Saturn, Venus and Sun also made a semisextile to my Neptune (Venus and Saturn exact, Sun by 2 degrees), and his Moon made an exact quincunx to my Neptune. He was just 1 year older to me so his outer planets were close to mine (Uranus-Pluto), my inner planets were not making any significant aspects to his Neptune or Pluto. Curiously, my Venus made a 7 degree opposition to his Saturn which would normally make it hard to show affection, but he was excessively affectionate towards me (probably due to all of that Pluto). I felt nothing kissing him. I held all the power in the relationship since I was not at all romantically interested but he was very much, he would do anything I asked him to. Possibly because my Jupiter made a 1 degree conjunction to his second house cusp, by his own choice he spent a lot of money taking me out and buying me things. I would offer to pay sometimes, but he never allowed it.

I could also tell he was seeing an unrealistic picture of me, and had projected many of his ideals of what he wanted me to be without understanding my personality, values, or goals. He did not ask questions to get to know me, he thought I was beautiful and sophisticated, (those were always the comments he made) and I could tell he believed it would look good to others if he married me.

His Uranus made an exact opposition to my Sun, and made a conjunction to my Moon-Saturn conjunction by 3-4 degrees, his Mars made a 1 degree semisextile to my Uranus. In the composite, Uranus made 5 tight aspects to planets less than 3 degrees each and three of them being exact, and it was in the 7th house. Natally, he had Uranus conjunct the MC by 1 degree. Characteristic of Uranus we broke up very abruptly and unexpectedly. Our relationship made little emotional impact on me, and I don't know how he felt (prime reason was due to excessive interference by his mother, who held an abnormal amount of control over him).

In the composite was a tight Venus-Neptune square, my Venus was conjunct the ascendant by 2 degrees from the 12th house, Saturn and Uranus were in the 7th house. I felt the Venus-Neptune square as I was disappointed as a grown man he would let his mother dictate his life, especially since he was so authoritative with everyone else. My Venus conjunct the ascendant shows the theme of the relationship was his appreciation of my beauty. Saturn in the 7th house usually restricts the relationship or makes it burdensome in some way. Also in the composite the Sun at 13 degrees Aries and Moon at 11 degrees Libra made a grand cross with my Mercury-Mars conjunction at 13 Cancer, and Neptune-Vertex at 7 Capricorn; I found it restricted discussions--I wanted to have meaningful discussions but he always wanted to talk about mundane topics. He didn't answer questions about himself in any depth but it could be because he wasn't a self reflective person to begin with. The composite chart ruler Mercury was in the 11th house (and Sun, Venus and North Node were in the 11th) which also makes it hard to sustain a romance, I still feel it would have been good if we just stayed friends.
 
Last edited:

astro11

Well-known member
It is also worth mentioning that there were two men who had told me that they think about me all the time, that they can't get me out of their mind, that I was very attractive etc and they both have their Venus conjunct my Pluto, in one case the orb was two degrees, in the other case it was 11 degrees. The one with 2 degrees was significantly more invested in me, and it was clear by his actions that he was obsessive.

However, I was never romantically attracted to either of these men, and all though they impacted me in other ways, it was never obsessive on my end. I would say I was significantly less invested in both relationships and thus held the power.
 
Top