My Father Died. What now?

Lending

Active member
I posted here last year and did find some comfort when I was scared as to where my life would go. I kept thinking 'how it would be a relief if I could experience my life with another'. Many did well in predicting my having a GF for this year. March I had a new GF after ten years.

May 25th, my father died in a nursing home recovering still from a gastric bypass surgery in January. It was all sudden for me but he was enduring a lot. I miss him incredibly.

Could this have been seen in my chart? And what now? My work was actually looking after my father. I'm unemployed for now, but I always had this dream of being a pastor. In fact, I had hoped to start last year but I was concerned about my Father.

Now I am concerned for my brothers, but many of the church members of where my Father and I attend want for me to now go to school. I was afraid I could not afford it. One elder of the church pulled me aside and told me who knew of a friend, who he knows, who never payed a cent. He then told me, I too can get the support and go to seminary but not have to be in debt. I will try and speak with him soon. That was almost a month ago.

So, will I do it? Rather, can it happen and will I succeed?
 

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raqun

Well-known member
Hello Lending.

I'm sorry for your loss.

From your chart and from what you have written I can sense you live in a lot of confusion. Your ascendant is conjunct Neptune in the 12th house and your 12th House ruler Jupiter is in your first house of self. To me this suggests, you have expansive dreams about goals that seem unreachable to you, i.e. you dream big, but think you expect too much from yourself and -"the problem"- you believe it. The Sun and Venus are in opposition to Uranus - that further confuses on what you want versus what is the right thing to do, probably erratically on daily basis.

Your moon in 11th house/Scorpio suggests, that you want to focus hard on helping others, but your Mars is conjunct Saturn and this aspect is probably hampering your ability to begin.

Your job was helping your father for so long, you are now having trouble with finding a purpose, which is understandable. I recommend you reserve a day with soothing weather, go to a place where you find it most comfortable and think first on what you want, because few people can be good at something they don't like doing. Then if you get it, how it would benefit you and others. If you still find you want to be a pastor, you should go do it. What you require is 1. a decision that you have to make for yourself; and 2. effort to stay on the path you set yourself on. No one here or anywhere else can do that for you.

Take care.
 
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Lending

Active member
Thank you, Raqun. I'm sure what I want to do is right and what would make me most happy. And yes, if I do go, then I feel like my absence is a weight on my brothers, which it is, but I deserve the right to be happy and they understand that.

So it's my call to make. Nothing is decided for me or fixed.
 
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