About Venus in the 11th: with Venus in Libra at the return this suggests the desire to allow for mediation and the chance to see if things could be worked out; perhaps through couples therapy, in the 11th H, or through social networking; sextile Mars showed the potential for taking control of the situation and seeing things more objectively; also assessing your true desires to search for consistency between you both...Uranus added the stimulation to break free from the rut of feeling stagnation and at a stalemate. The square though created resistance to giving up and striving harder to make it work; Jupiter provided indecision, while Neptune added confusion and disillusionment. Mercury was also retrograde giving pause to moving forward and probable difficulties with communications.
At the next return we find Venus in the 9th joined with Jupiter...approaching a square with Mars and moving towards the square Saturn. With Jupiter in direct motion after an extended lag, it may be easier to make your decision to redirect your personal goals...it also has influence over legal matters in the 9th. Venus square Saturn at that time denotes a high potential for disappointment and further disillusionment. During the Jupiter retro period [until May] it again suggests that the time now is a time for really thinking things through with due care, attention and objectivity...a time to get realistic. At the time of the next Return, Venus will also just be leaving a trine aspect to Uranus...a surge in the desire for new ventures and moving on.
Currently with the influence of Sagittarius now in gear, you will get a Sun/Uranus hit, amplifying your deliberations, and financial considerations may weigh heavily...the approach to the holiday season can be difficult if you are feeling very negative or depressed about the situation...the counsel is to be cautious in financial matters, with Neptune in the 2nd H natally; be wary of potential dishonesty or deceptions in that area.
From a personal perspective my advice is not to make any real critical changes during the holiday season, as that imprint will follow you through the rest your holidays to come...I had one bitter incident at Christmas during my consideration of separation, and it has haunted me ever since. Better to try to keep yourself buoyed up during the festivities and give yourself a break from worrying about what might be...seize the day and be kind to yourself especially, without being weighed down by misery and discontent. It can help if you can learn to emotionally detach yourself from the partner and try to see the situation more as a friendship than a commitment...keep it simple, in looking to her more as a companion, rather than being concerned about your own expectations of what she 'should' be. The New Year may perhaps be the last hurrah, or bring the potential for a resolution of the situation, one way or the other. The choice will be up to you, and you alone...can you conclude whether 'you can learn to love again' in that relationship, without feeling more of an obligatory necessity. On the surface from the few things you have mentioned, it appears that she has much to 'be forgiven' for and again the issues of trust, respect and faith must be taken into consideration...
of course my views are from a female perspective who finally 'outgrew' a stagnant marriage and moved on to a much better situation...best of luck to you. Blessed be.