Why do i make enemies so easily

dandelionnn

Well-known member
Not just with women, but with men too!
We end up hating eachother even though i've done nothing wrong! They start things with me out of the blue and then next thing you know i get fired up and say things i don't mean. I am a very soft, sensitive, sweet girl...i can be sarcastic and crude jokingly. But i never start anything with anyone, ever. I want friends, i wish i had them but i just lost a few because of either them or my temper. But my temper was usually caused by them.
Read my natal chart please, i want relationships and i don't know why they go down hill so fast for no reason at all. I hurt nobody!
 

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may28gemini

Personally, I dislike sarcasm. I find sarcasm as very unpleasant, snide, and cowardly critical. My attitude is, if you're going to say something, say it directly and say it plainly so we know where we stand.

Anyway, I think root of sarcasm is from fallen Mars in the 1st house. Cancer renders Mars to be least like Mars so you could say it's the anti-Mars. Given in that sense, true Mars is direct, brash, forward, explosive, whereas, Mars in exaltation is refined, even keeled, controlled, worldly. The opposite of Mars in exaltation is Mars in fall, which is corrupt, volatile, lack of self-control, ignorance.

I think that it's very possible the majority of people you encounter have a similar outlook as what I described above and you're not even aware of what you say could create adverse reactions. When one has a corrupted planet so public, the world will see and judge you by the quality of that corrupted planet, by which, corrupted planets do not garner high praise overall.
 

dandelionnn

Well-known member
Great thanks I guess I'm stuck with this curse forever. The funny thing about it is me and then man had good mercury in synastry, had Venus conjunct Mars for our love....we called it truce today. I am starting to realize astrology has nothing to do with anything. It's people.
 

kailaniatsea

Well-known member
I also have Mars in Cancer, but my Moon is in Sagittarius conjunct Neptune in the 12th house, which gives me an added dose of compassion and idealism. But my emotions can be a source of pain for me.

Being that you are a Libra, your Venus placement is very important. It is in Scorpio (in detriment) conjunct Pluto. This attracts people and situations that can become love-hate, filled with obsession, possessiveness, secrecy and anger. The fact that it sits in the fifth house only makes these things more public. Also, you have planets that both attract and repel emotion. For instance, you may be a sensitive person, but only if you're up for it, which can upset some people and give the impression that you may be self-centered and interested in others for what they have to offer more than their person. Perhaps this is not your intention and deep down you are a good person. I don't believe in curses per se; we all have things to work on.
 
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may28gemini

Great thanks I guess I'm stuck with this curse forever. The funny thing about it is me and then man had good mercury in synastry, had Venus conjunct Mars for our love....we called it truce today. I am starting to realize astrology has nothing to do with anything. It's people.

Unfortunately, that's main of the issue with Cancer Mars... throwing in the towel early.

No, you're not stuck with anything except the chart you're born with. There are all sorts of things you can do to change your circumstances and up the quality of your interactions. You can always take classes on how to emotionally manage yourself better in public, or take communications classes to articulate yourself better and in a more positive light. There are classes to help you understand body language, because the bulk, if I remember correctly, is like 93% (or something very high) of in-person communication is nonverbal. It is cues and subtle looks and movements that convey very "loud" messages without saying a word... but there are classes that teach that. I think the FBI reported that about 5% (maybe less) of the population are naturally able to correctly read micro-expressions, but it is something that can be taught and learned.
 

miquar

Well-known member
I think the problem for you dandelionn is what is sometimes called a freedom-closeness dilemma. So much of your chart is geared towards being intimate with others on s feeling level. But that angular and tensely aspected Uranus gets very agitated. Also scorpio and pluto can be ambivalent about closeness due to fear of humiliation and rejection.

Was there someone close to you when you were young who would be very close to you at times but then suddenly withdraw or lash out in some way? If so, this could give clues about what is going on for you.

And when things get heated with someone, try to back off and sleep on it before you engage - the Scorpio Venus and Mercury know how to really wound, and the water emphasis suggests a possibility of losing perspective.

I hope you can get it sorted because there's so much in this chart that suggests satisfying and rewarding relationships for all concerned.

[removed attacking comment - Moderator Note: astrological opinions come in all manners of "directness" - as long as the focus is on astrology, strong comments are allowed - the OP is free to use or reject any or all comments]

Edit: Just to clarify, the 'attacking comment' was directed at Rahu, not the OP.
 
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Vulcan

Active member
I believe this is a major lesson for you that you should work on. I don't believe Mars is the problem, Saturn is your sarcasm. You should work on becoming more romantic (Mars trine Venus) and gentle and extrovert as well, and be less of an "old maid". Now is a good time for that (not when you are older).
 

Zarathu

Account Closed
KS,

Are you sure that you really want to know this?

There are numerous impacts in your natal chart as well as your current minor and tertiary progressed charts which define how you tend to perceive the world, and which show the issues that you are concerned with.

They offer a series of oppositions which will cause stress unless you are willing to make serious changes in your view of the world and how you might react to it. This is what oppositions are for. No one like changes, and with your malefic surrounded Moon/high latitude Moon and your high power and high friction Mars, moving away from your way of doing things is going to be very hard. You will resist it and tend to put obstacles in the way of this movement.

You already implied that when several astrologers made suggestions about potential change on YOUR PART. (RE: "I am starting to realize astrology has nothing to do with anything. It's people.")

Astrology is the language of the blueprint of yours and everyone's life. It describes the signs that are out there, visible or invisible.

So...it may be one of those things where you should be careful about what you ask for, since you might just get it.
 
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WackyAquarius

Well-known member
Mars in the 1st House

Your reactions to new situations are immediate and pressing. You are an active, energetic, dynamic, enterprising, and possibly even forceful or aggressive person. You tend to begin new endeavors with gusto, although follow-through is not necessarily indicated by this position alone. Some of you might be rash, inconsiderate, or overly assertive. You can be fiercely independent, and you are usually direct and straightforward. Spontaneity is extremely important to you. Some of you might stir up trouble, whether consciously or unconsciously, when you are bored.
 

dandelionnn

Well-known member
All I wish to do is make friends and keep them. Yes I'm a jokester, people are probably intimidated by me. Especially women, I barely have lady friends. And when I try to we end up fighting. I crack jokes on people and sometimes it's really funny but sometimes it's not. I don't know how to be a sweet heart and have more people that will like me because I'm too afraid of rejection and getting dismissed. I am jealous and I hate wars but am a warrior if one is started. I usually win verbally. I am so depressed and bored and rash. But yet I'm very caring and good with advice and complimenting. I'm emotional but then again I'm not. I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm curious as to what I need to do in my life based on my aspects to live a more calm life. I'm extremely honest but I feel like I can't be in this world. I can't express my feelings really...I don't get along with my family, never have I was always the trouble maker.
 
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kailaniatsea

Well-known member
All I wish to do is make friends and keep them.

You are a Libra with Saturn in Aquarius, of course you wish to be cordial with everybody.

Yes I'm a jokester, people are probably intimidated by me. Especially women, I barely have lady friends. I don't know how to be a sweet heart and have more people that will like me because I'm too afraid of rejection and getting dismissed.

Don't try to be someone that you are not, focus more on accepting yourself and respecting others (Chiron in Leo in 2nd house). This is really your Achilles heel.

I am jealous and I hate wars but am a warrior if one is started. I usually win verbally. I am so depressed and bored and rash. But yet I'm very caring and good with advice and complimenting. I'm emotional but then again I'm not. I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm curious as to what I need to do in my life based on my aspects to live a more calm life. I'm extremely honest but I feel like I can't be in this world. I can't express my feelings really...I don't get along with my family, never have I was always the trouble maker.

Outside of astrology, you are very young. When I was your age not too long ago, I went through the same things. Psychologists and neurologists have proven that the brain doesn't stop growing until at least 25; there are a few that venture closer to 30. The truth is that you may not have many of the same friends that you have in 10 or 20 years either due to starting a family (Sun in the IC) or leaving home (Moon in Pisces in the 9th house). Since Pisces inhabits the 9th, consider whether your problem is feeling like an outsider and you negatively reacting to that and feeling inferior (North Node in Sagittarius in 6th house). Sagittarius can be brutally honest. These personal points (what I call them at least) with Chiron in Leo and N.N. in Sag may be your "karma" to work on in addition to your fallen Venus in Scorpio. Perhaps transforming pain (Venus-Pluto in Scorpio) may help you to create (5th house) beauty (Venus).
 

miquar

Well-known member
Hi dandelionn. I think that you need to take another look at your joking and sarcastic tendency, trying to appreciate how it comes across to others. You say that its other people who start things and that your quick temper then gets involved. But its likely that people find your humour very antagonistic at times. This might be confusing for people because of the deeply caring side which you also have. Also, you will tend to draw people to you who carry the same tension that you carry - between the need to be close to people and the need to act in divisive ways. It won't take much to get an argument going between the Mars Uranus part of you and some similar factor in the other person.

Although Mars is in the first house, it cannot express as directly as it would like when in Cancer, and this probably has a lot to do with why your divisive Mars energy comes out through 'joking'. Moon in water adds to this, since the Moon rules the sign Cancer. If you want to be able to relate to people in a more consistently harmonious way, you will undoubtedly need to look at your antagonistic streak, which will involve the Scorpio part of you as well as the Mars Uranus opposition along the horizon axis.

It may help you to be involved with a progressive group of some kind where your Uranian energy can come out more creatively, rather than as aimless rebellion against whoever happens to be around you. As I said in my previous post, there is a great deal of potential here for warmth of contact with others, and ultimately that can combine very creatively with the more lively and independent side of you. But first you will have to be honest with yourself about your tendency to antagonise others, and look at where the need to do this comes from inside you. I would refer you to my question in the previous post as a possible aid to this process - there may have been an antagonistic person in your early environment who not only caused the watery side of you pain, but also acted as a negative role model for how to deal with the pain.
 

miquar

Well-known member
I just noticed something that you said in one of your responses. If it was mainly you who 'kicked off' at home, then another issue to consider is that the watery side of you would make you susceptible to any unresolved issues in the 'family psyche'. You probably became what is sometimes referred to as the 'identified patient' - the member of the family who acts a safety valve for the release of the energy which has built up due to the suppression of emotions in the family as a whole.

In this sense, you were perhaps the only honest person in that early environment, but of course no one would thank you for that - in fact they would be horrified to be reminded of what they knew on some level: that they were living a lie. Mars in Cancer responds to feeling currents, especially when the Moon is also in a water sign. Uranus can't tolerate ignorance, and because this opposition occurs along the horizon axis, it has always dominated your way of relating to others. Mars is also opposite Neptune, adding to the watery influence on Mars.

You never had a chance when it came to expressing the chart in a non-antagonistic way when you were younger, and your family would have unconsciously coerced you into behaving that way - even though they would have been uncomfortable with your behaviour on one level, they would also know on another level that they needed you to express that stuff on their behalf. But how painful for the Moon in Pisces and Venus in Scorpio to experience that alienation, both then and in the present.

Self-honesty, as always, is the way forward.
 
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