Considerations for suicide:
Suicide is simply the Silencing of the Life energy; it accomplishes nothing for the Soul. It is an available option for the depressed, the fearful, the hopeless and the faithless, but it also brings oblivion, rendering it a rather pointless endeavour. Some would say it is an insult to the Higher Self that seeks reunion with it's Creator.
The truth of the purpose of Life is that it is meant to allow us to redeem ourselves and spiral upwards towards a Higher Awareness. It allows us to disperse the karmic essence that will otherwise continue to follow us into another life, where once again we will have to undergo what we failed to learn in this life.
So you may choose to join the millions of others who do the deed, believing that it will bring peace and release from pain. It is really only oblivion that erases the life that was lived in vain.
Personally I am undergoing the process of my husband suffering from terminal cancer. He lives with constant pain and discomfort, as well as losing out on experiencing the quality of life. It is not a dignified way to go. Still after all the treatments available to him have proved in vain, there is no longer a choice in the matter. In enduring the process he does not simply give up, but chooses to see it through, making him a hero in my eyes.
Further I have been very close to this death process in many instances in the past, with family members who have already fought the fight. In my early 30's I lost my parents to critical illness within 4 years of each other. Next came my father in law, from the cancer as well. Several years later it was my elder brother, also of cancer; finally 3 years ago my mother in law died from heart failure, just as my own mother had done.
Now the process includes my own husband, which is of course the most difficult one to witness. I guess you could say that I have been 'purposed' to be a witness of death [Sun in the 8th], which has of itself brought much heartache, depression, frustration, anxiety, anger, denial and great sadness for me to bear. And all I have been left with is 'it is what it is!' At this time in my life, it is not just my husband, but also my granddaughter being of concern to me, as being a heroin drug addict.
If you think you suffer from the life that you feel has been given you unfairly , I would ask that you consider what it is like for those who are aware of the limitation of their life, and have no choice but to suffer through it.
So you may choose to join the millions of other suicides who bear the weight of weakness and failure, but remember that you will also bring upon yourself the guilt of creating unnecessary pain to those you leave behind. The sins of this life are not washed away by doing so, and so you just bring forth more bad karma to the next life, should you be given the chance. Just don't blame it on your Kite Pattern in astrology, for that particular aspect offers great promise and potential for those willing to embrace the negativity of experience and eventually find the light that awaits at the height of the Kite. You just have to put in the effort to aspire to a more positive outcome. And that is definitely by choice, for those experiencing such a momentary lapse of reason. I hope that you can find the resilience within to fight for the life that was meant as a gift, and find a way to break through the self-defeating illusions that pray on you.
I offer you these words with sympathetic understanding of your plight and pray that you may find the strength and resilience to not simply just give up.
Blessed be.