Hi S.P,
all in a chart starts with the personal planets moon, sun and mercury. If moon and sun have a planet sitting aside- known as one of the fate called planets - like saturn, uranus and neptune and known for subconsciously working karmic entanglements looking for deep transformation - pluto - and known for working beyond personal control/able to get personal control out of function for a certain reason and higher sense- you are affected and challenged on a very personal level. Same with aspects of these planets.
Your moon ruling your 6th house - health and personal habits and daily rituals is conjuncted by pluto in 9th house and moon also rules your 7th house - encounter people and relationships.
Pluto rules your 10th house -your personal access to the legal deciding authority - the law itself and to what is of importance as standards for you to focus on in your personal life for evolving yourself.
Moon/pluto always carries a deep fear to get existentially destroyed and abandoned and left helpless alone. Is the intense strong female principle and power able to deliver life to birth - but same time also being able to destroy life - before delivering to birth - by abortion or by experiencing a miscarriage. Moon/Pluto in horary is the abortion constellation or for a miscarriage.
Your moon is additionally 0° exact semisquared by uranus - the unexpected energy able to turn all around within a second. And your pluto is semisquared by uranus, too - showing a deep shock or near to death experience at point of your own birth- you experienced as dangerous for your life - in state of a little baby or short after. Moon sesquiquadrates your chiron sitting critical on cusp of health house 6th and health and healing axis 6th/12th house - fear of death has left an inner wound in you- you probably feel to compensate -with doing all to feel yourself alive in your body - and sex is one of it.
Moon/pluto is in a venus ruled 9th house - the house of religious faith - venus is in sag in 11th house and rules also your 4th house - house of own mother, mother experience in childhood, mother as first female model role for a man and is the first inner picture -a man is looking for in a woman in later life. And especially if something has left open and has to be healed then on relationship area.
Your venus is in a jupiter ruled 11th house - with venus/uranus corresponding energy - not of convential standards -and is in special sign connection with your jupiter in taurus in 4th house /emotions and mother experience - ruled by venus. Jupiter in house of emotions has a strong tendency to exaggerate and is in it's shadow energy able to blow it all a lot up. With jupiter sesquiquadrating neptune in 12th house - from time to time able to exaggerate limitless.
Intensified with venus trining mars - as your mind and thought house ruler - mars sitting critical on cusp 3rd house and on mental mind axis- 3rd / 9th house.
Your sun as your personal male will and ego energy is affected by neptune's conj. and not always available for own purposes. Neptune rules 2nd house - the physical body house of existence and body reactions and self-protection and setting boundaries. Neptune ruling 2nd house makes permeable for outer influences - one is not able to shut own doors completely to find a rest and may get sometimes overloaded - with a constant fear of being attacked or attackable for being not good and not worthy and not wealthy enough - 2nd house is also self-esteem and financial money income.
Which means your body is reacting like a seismograph on any tiny detail in your environment - without knowing what it is - like being attacked from something invisible.
Your sun has no house of it's own- co-rules intercepted leo in 7th house - encountering people and relationship. Your sun is also affected by jupiter - for exaggerting from time to time- being sesquiquadrated by jupiter, too - effective on encountering people area.
But what you are suffering most from is your mercury on indecisive degree of 0° aquarius - between two signs and two worlds and additionally semisextiled by uranus - the uncontrolable sudden unexpected energy- in a jupiter ruled 11th house and enforced by a jupiter trine from 4th house - emotions and emotions about women.
Mercury ruling 5th house - male principle - sex just for fun. But your mercury also rules your 8th house - with mercury pluto correspondence energy a strong mental mind energy- able to get self-sabotage programmes running. 8th house is about death and near to death experience in own life- shocks and trauma- access to the occult and otherworld - obsessions, addictions, sex and crime, pornography, rituals - with all contents of what you described herewith.
secret knowledge,Conspiracy theories,Occult and esoteric stuff,anything mysterious,dark,scary etc aka ghost hunting horror films or videogames,
exploring paranormal places, love for black color,black clothes and black sunglasses, death, afterlife, paranormal
Be glad that you have a strong saturn- strong placed in own house and own sign - as ruler of 12th in 12th - being of self-purpose for your spiritual health and to not lose your way in life.
How was your mother relationship in childhood ? What do you know about your own birth and circumstances around ?