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Unread 09-14-2019, 08:22 PM
ZoraEos ZoraEos is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Re: Was he an abuser?

Originally Posted by PurpleReign View Post
In the real world, 95% of the time it takes two to tango. He has Aquarius rising and Saturn in the first, this can make him seem cold, distant, and aloof. Mercury in Aries in the third can make him a bit hot-headed or make him have a sharp tongue. Angry and direct speech when mad. It squares Saturn in the first which when mixed together can make him seem like he is uninterested and harsh.

However, he has sun and moon in Taurus in the fourth. So even if it doesnít show on the surface, he is emotionally attached to the home and family (or if he isnít close to his own family, he likes the idea of home and security) and likes the finer things in life. Venus in cancer likely emphasizes those traits as cancer rules the fourth house, so I think he can be nurturing and sensitive in love, but his Venus oppose Uranus, so his relationships can have an unusual nature or have an on and off pattern (or he has many short term relationships or simply attracts quirky types). Jupiter in the 7th tends to mean he either has many relationships (or has thatís option) or he has luck in love - maybe both. Itís in Leo, so he likely attracts Leonian types.

Not much in his chart screams abuser, but Mercury in Aries in the third and Aqua rising and Saturn in the first can likely make him seem cold and mean.

You have a Capricorn rising and Uranus in the first, so similar to him, you too might come off as a bit distant and aloof. However, yours balances out with Neptune in the first that might make you come off as more moody and sensitive. Mars in the 7th could perhaps indicate youíre a bit impatient, hot-headed, or quick-tempered in relationships. Mars in 7th mixed with Neptune in the first and sensitive, power-seeking Scorpio sun may make you seem erratic and turbulent. Your Venus is in fall in Virgo and itís in the 8th house, which can bring intense feelings into relationships. However, you have moon in Taurus like he does ó which Taurus can be a bit hard-headed/stubborn, so maybe you both were a bit stubborn and hot-headed and came off as distant sometimes. You have Cancer on the descendant and he has cancer/4th house influence. So you have some positive and negative similarities.

My guess is that neither of you are necessarily bad people, itís just that you both have placements that can make you difficult to be with in relationships. And that will continue to be the case until youíve worked on your negatives and tried to turn them into positives. He could probably stand to work on coming off as too aloof and could tame Merc in Aries. You could probably work on the Mars in 7th and any negative Neptunian traits that may come out at times.

Of course, Iím just generalizing based off a natal chart. I have no clue what happened between the two of you and donít know either of you personally. Sometimes two people arenít bad, theyíre just bad for each other. That may or may not be the case with you and your ex. Maybe he was a jerk. But typically it takes two to tango and often both sides have things to work on. As for the composite, Iíve heard synastry charts are better for interpreting the answers youíre looking for.
Wow!! Thank you so much! This was a very detailed and accurate response. Yes, I definitely think it takes two to tango. I certainly was not perfect in this relationship either. Like you said, we both can be distant/aloof, stubborn, and have hot tempers; so, when that's combined together, it just led to so many explosive arguments. I broke up with him when he started saying personal insults to me during arguments and acting fake in some situations - he was very passive-aggressive. I just could not handle any of that, went off the handle and cussed him out, broke up with him and blocked him on all my social media. But that's not a very healthy reaction either, and my temper certainly escalated arguments a lot of times too, so I need to improve on that.
I think we also had way different communication styles: He's Merc in Aries, while I'm Merc in Libra, so we were complete opposites in our communication and thinking styles. There would be so many times where he would rush through things, rush through important discussions or act impulsively, and I'm like - slow down! Let's take our time and figure this out and understand each other's perspectives! It was honestly like talking to a wall sometimes.
Glad to be out of that anyway!
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