I hate my natal chart

Trisha

Active member
Hello everybody

I hate my natal chart..
Nothing went good..

Job: I only have a limited job till end of year. I hoped saturn transit trigon sun brings me new Job.. But till now nothing happened. Only Jobs which are less paid or not so favorable as my current (I'm ready for compromises, also for money, but not too much of them).

Also I'm wishing for a boyfriend and children but nothing happened till 4 years now. That's much more a problem. Every guy I met is very clinchy. They say they love me after 3 dates - big love. As I looked in their natal all have Uranustransit square venus.. So nothing stable. Also tried to find a guy who will give me his sperm that I will have a child alone because it doesn't work with guys. After chatting they told me they are looking for a relationship and write me every day. Instead I only want to have a child ��*♀️ don't want to forbid to see the child's father because every child should known where their biological father is.

I thought when saturn will trine all my planets in gemini it will be better. But now I think saturn in aquarius only have to do with restrictions like "I will get things how I want to have"

Could please anyone help me to figure out when job and relationship issues will improve. If relationship issue will last longer when and if it's possible to have a baby?

Im so unsatisfied for 2 years because it doesnt matter how i strain, i dont get an success in having famliy or job and i dont want to wait anymore.

Best regards
Mary

here is natal chart
 

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waybread

Well-known member
Trisha/Mary-- I am sorry that you are so dissatisfied.

The older I get the more I believe that happiness is a choice. Good fortune isn't about the universe handing you your wish-list. It is about you realistically assessing the good things in your life, and creating your own happiness out of them: just because this is the stand that you take for yourself.

It is very typical of unhappy people that they come to an astrology forum and ask, "When is my life going to get better?" But any ephemeris will show us that good times are followed by bad times that are followed by good times that are followed by bad times &c, &c for the rest of our mortal existence.

So it is more intelligent to learn how to cope and grow strong from whatever life hands you.

Relationships go by synastry. Don't over-concern yourself with transits if your basic synastry is good.

Frankly, every child deserves two loving and involved parents. A baby isn't going to make up for your basic dissatisfaction with yourself. Then babies have a habit of turning into rebellious adolescents and teenagers. You will be responsible for your child until s/he turns 18 or so. If you don't get along, are you prepared for this type of parenting commitment no matter what?

Assuming your birth time is correct, you have a huge 8th house focus. How are you manifesting it in your life?
 

Osamenor

Staff member
Frankly, every child deserves two loving and involved parents.
At least. It really takes a community to raise a child. If you're a single parent, you need a network of committed family and friends to be able to raise a child. Do you have one? If so, that's the first place you should be looking for support for yourself, not fleeting romance. If not, you don't have the resources to become a parent.
Job: I only have a limited job till end of year. I hoped saturn transit trigon sun brings me new Job.. But till now nothing happened. Only Jobs which are less paid or not so favorable as my current (I'm ready for compromises, also for money, but not too much of them).
A new job would be a change in the status quo. Trines by transit don't bring changes in the status quo. They're what's going so smoothly in your life that you have no need to change it. Changes correlate more with squares, oppositions, or conjunctions.

Trines, natal or transiting, can also represent areas of our lives where we're lazy. What are you doing to get yourself a new job? If you're doing nothing, just hoping for one to fall into your lap, you're not likely to get one no matter what the transits are like.

If you are actively looking but only get offers for worse paid jobs than what you've got, then there's something wrong with how you're going about looking. Maybe you don't have the qualifications for a better paid job. In that case, you'd need to get them. Or maybe you need to rewrite your resume to better emphasize the ways you are qualified for a better paid job. Maybe you need different job search techniques. One way or another, it comes down to what you're doing, or not doing.

As I looked in their natal all have Uranustransit square venus.. So nothing stable.

And lately, you've been having Uranus transit your DC. That's also an indicator of relationship instability, if you're looking for instability indicators. It's moving on now, but it echoes that Uranus/Venus theme you've seen in your interests. Since Venus is your DC ruler, that's an even more direct correlation.

We always draw people into our lives whose charts have some resonance with our own, whose transits have some resonance with our own, and who are at a similar place in life to ourselves. If you keep meeting guys who want to commit fast, that reflects how fast you're demanding commitment from them. Wanting them to father a child for you is absolutely a commitment!

Even if it doesn't look like the same kind of commitment on the surface, it's still commitment, and you're still demanding it on terms that don't work for them, just as they're demanding a relationship commitment on terms that don't work for you. Asking a guy to sire a child but not be more than a visiting non-custodial father is a big ask. Most want to live with their children if they have them.
 

Trisha

Active member
At least. It really takes a community to raise a child. If you're a single parent, you need a network of committed family and friends to be able to raise a child. Do you have one? If so, that's the first place you should be looking for support for yourself, not fleeting romance. If not, you don't have the resources to become a parent.
A new job would be a change in the status quo. Trines by transit don't bring changes in the status quo. They're what's going so smoothly in your life that you have no need to change it. Changes correlate more with squares, oppositions, or conjunctions.

Trines, natal or transiting, can also represent areas of our lives where we're lazy. What are you doing to get yourself a new job? If you're doing nothing, just hoping for one to fall into your lap, you're not likely to get one no matter what the transits are like.

If you are actively looking but only get offers for worse paid jobs than what you've got, then there's something wrong with how you're going about looking. Maybe you don't have the qualifications for a better paid job. In that case, you'd need to get them. Or maybe you need to rewrite your resume to better emphasize the ways you are qualified for a better paid job. Maybe you need different job search techniques. One way or another, it comes down to what you're doing, or not doing.

And lately, you've been having Uranus transit your DC. That's also an indicator of relationship instability, if you're looking for instability indicators. It's moving on now, but it echoes that Uranus/Venus theme you've seen in your interests. Since Venus is your DC ruler, that's an even more direct correlation.

We always draw people into our lives whose charts have some resonance with our own, whose transits have some resonance with our own, and who are at a similar place in life to ourselves. If you keep meeting guys who want to commit fast, that reflects how fast you're demanding commitment from them. Wanting them to father a child for you is absolutely a commitment!

Even if it doesn't look like the same kind of commitment on the surface, it's still commitment, and you're still demanding it on terms that don't work for them, just as they're demanding a relationship commitment on terms that don't work for you. Asking a guy to sire a child but not be more than a visiting non-custodial father is a big ask. Most want to live with their children if they have them.

Thanks for your reply

Yes I have a stable network with family and friends and so on but with getting pregnant they can't help me. It's also im not living in US so it's not allowed to get a baby by invitro when be single

Yes, I'm applying almost every day. I have done a training and college good education. My current job I got when jupitertransit (L2) trines natal sun and north node conjunct jupiter in 8th. It's not only the payment, also for example that I have to travel a lot, but with own child that would be difficult. And I think I also at the moment have a good job, so bad my application can't be. 🤔

Maybe I have wrote false.. Regarding guys I don't ask every guy regarding a baby. Most of them which are fascinated by me fast, I only see them as friends. This was more last years. This year I write with guys but only in a short way. Most we don't meet and if then only once or twice.

Guys I wrote because of child first say they want only co-parenting as friends but then after a while they talk about relationship and are clinchy. 🤷*♀️

Will it go on with relationships till Uranus is in 7th house/or taurus? I also want to have luck with guys. I never had luck with them and don't want to be a childless single women anymore :(
 

Trisha

Active member
Trisha/Mary-- I am sorry that you are so dissatisfied.

The older I get the more I believe that happiness is a choice. Good fortune isn't about the universe handing you your wish-list. It is about you realistically assessing the good things in your life, and creating your own happiness out of them: just because this is the stand that you take for yourself.

It is very typical of unhappy people that they come to an astrology forum and ask, "When is my life going to get better?" But any ephemeris will show us that good times are followed by bad times that are followed by good times that are followed by bad times &c, &c for the rest of our mortal existence.

So it is more intelligent to learn how to cope and grow strong from whatever life hands you.

Relationships go by synastry. Don't over-concern yourself with transits if your basic synastry is good.

Frankly, every child deserves two loving and involved parents. A baby isn't going to make up for your basic dissatisfaction with yourself. Then babies have a habit of turning into rebellious adolescents and teenagers. You will be responsible for your child until s/he turns 18 or so. If you don't get along, are you prepared for this type of parenting commitment no matter what?

Assuming your birth time is correct, you have a huge 8th house focus. How are you manifesting it in your life?

Thanks for your reply

I'm not only wanting a baby because I'm dissatisfaction with me. I think every women has a wish for a child. That's right because of this I wanted to choose co parenting. Parents as friends. But after finding someone and writing he will be clinchy and want to have a relationship. (but they are not my type regarding behavior. For friends it's OK but for more they are too clinchy)

Im not sure. I think jupiter in 8th helps me that I haven't had financial problems yet. Also when I'm unemployed, I have had every time enough money to care for me. I also worry about many things 🤔 relationships I have had two but with all the partners have financial problems (don't want this anymore) sometimes I'm very jealousy but I try to hide this feeling and don't show it to others. So I have learned to control my feelings most times and yes be manipulativ sometimes to get what I want 😇 but I do it that nobody notice it and nobody will be damaged financially, socially or otherwise. In job im working for government.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Trisha/Mary--

Thanks for your feedback.

Not every woman wants a child. My daughter is a single school teacher in her 30s, and she feels she has enough small children in her life. My niece is in a long term relationship with a partner. She decided long ago that she didn't want children. They live busy and fulfilling lives.

But regardless, (because many single women do want to have children) I hope you are past the stage of a kind of biological craving, and are really thinking through the entire package of having a child. What is best for a child's own happiness and development? What would your life look like with an adolescent son with no dad in the picture who gets in with the wrong kind of friends, or who has a learning disability and hates school? Are you ready for these common parent-child struggles?

I can well believe that you started this thread on a really bad day, and we all have them.

But what I am not seeing in your posts is a sense of loving and basic kindness.

These men don't show up in your communications as actual human beings, but essentially as possible sperm donors with bad transits. Whatever their faults might be, they deserve more from a wife or partner than a woman who simply wants to get her own needs (or wish-list) met.

[Sorry-- I don't know the word "clinchy."]

Assuming your birth time is correct, you have a big stellium in the 8th house.

When I see charts of people who seem so unhappy with their lives, one of the first questions I have, is what does s/he need to feel fulfilled? I think in your case, it is important to deal with 8th house matters.

This is the traditional house of death. 8th house sun people typically think about death more than the average person. With the moon there, you may need to live life more on a life-and-death edge. Which is why 8th house people can do well as hospice/palliative care health professionals and paramedics.

The 8th house also rules "shared resources" like investments, inheritances, pension plans, and the like.

Modern astrology also sees the 8th house as ruling occult matters. With your curiosity-driven Gemini emphasis, you might find immersion in occult studies to be rewarding. Jupiter in the 8th especially needs some profound big-picture questions to tackle.

So what kind of mother do you even see yourself becoming? One who happily bakes cookies and washes the onesies? One who doesn't resent a child who keeps you up at night with the croup or an ear infection? Would you plan to breast-feed your child? Do you have the financial resources if you don't even necessarily want to live with a close partner or husband?

Trisha, part of me is beginning to wonder whether, despite your apparent unhappiness, you are serious about seeking astrological guidance.
 
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Trisha

Active member
Trisha/Mary--

Thanks for your feedback.

Not every woman wants a child. My daughter is a single school teacher in her 30s, and she feels she has enough small children in her life. My niece is in a long term relationship with a partner. She decided long ago that she didn't want children. They live busy and fulfilling lives.

But regardless, (because many single women do want to have children) I hope you are past the stage of a kind of biological craving, and are really thinking through the entire package of having a child. What is best for a child's own happiness and development? What would your life look like with an adolescent son with no dad in the picture who gets in with the wrong kind of friends, or who has a learning disability and hates school? Are you ready for these common parent-child struggles?

I can well believe that you started this thread on a really bad day, and we all have them.

But what I am not seeing in your posts is a sense of loving and basic kindness.

These men don't show up in your communications as actual human beings, but essentially as possible sperm donors with bad transits. Whatever their faults might be, they deserve more from a wife or partner than a woman who simply wants to get her own needs (or wish-list) met.

[Sorry-- I don't know the word "clinchy."]

Assuming your birth time is correct, you have a big stellium in the 8th house.

When I see charts of people who seem so unhappy with their lives, one of the first questions I have, is what does s/he need to feel fulfilled? I think in your case, it is important to deal with 8th house matters.

This is the traditional house of death. 8th house sun people typically think about death more than the average person. With the moon there, you may need to live life more on a life-and-death edge. Which is why 8th house people can do well as hospice/palliative care health professionals and paramedics.

The 8th house also rules "shared resources" like investments, inheritances, pension plans, and the like.

Modern astrology also sees the 8th house as ruling occult matters. With your curiosity-driven Gemini emphasis, you might find immersion in occult studies to be rewarding. Jupiter in the 8th especially needs some profound big-picture questions to tackle.

So what kind of mother do you even see yourself becoming? One who happily bakes cookies and washes the onesies? One who doesn't resent a child who keeps you up at night with the croup or an ear infection? Would you plan to breast-feed your child? Do you have the financial resources if you don't even necessarily want to live with a close partner or husband?

Trisha, part of me is beginning to wonder whether, despite your apparent unhappiness, you are serious about seeking astrological guidance.

Well, not every women wants a child, yes. But I'm now in at an age where I know what I want and what not.

I'm sorry "clingy". It's not so that he can't see his child. He could. That not the point. The point is that he says he also wanted only co-parenting and then change to relationship. When I'm looking for a relationship then I don't wrote at homepages where people look for having a baby.

If the choice is to be childless or having baby on my own than it's sure what I change. And why do you think that I don't would be a good mother l. How many questions regarding job, love, children are here in forum. Are they not on the wish list from the person? These 3 are most important for most people and do its normal that they ask about this

I know but also I have natally strong desire to be mother. It's better to be alone mother and the child is welcome as living in a relationship and the child is unwanted. Regarding money I think I can do this. I have saved a huge amount and also planned to go back to work after one year. We also get money when in parental leave. And because I have a high salary at the moment it's more than other women have with his partner

And I don't have this wish for since yesterday. I want it since round about 2 years and don't want to wait anymore
 
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Trisha

Active member
Well, not every women wants a child, yes. But I'm now in at an age where I know what I want and what not.

I'm sorry "clingy". It's not so that he can't see his child. He could. That not the point. The point is that he says he also wanted only co-parenting and then change to relationship. When I'm looking for a relationship then I don't wrote at homepages where people look for having a baby.

If the choice is to be childless or having baby on my own than it's sure what I change. And why do you think that I don't would be a good mother l. How many questions regarding job, love, children are here in forum. Are they not on the wish list from the person? These 3 are most important for most people and do its normal that they ask about this

I know but also I have natally strong desire to be mother. It's better to be alone mother and the child is welcome as living in a relationship and the child is unwanted. Regarding money I think I can do this. I have saved a huge amount and also planned to go back to work after one year. We also get money when in parental leave. And because I have a high salary at the moment it's more than other women have with his partner

And I don't have this wish for since yesterday. I want it since round about 2 years and don't want to wait anymore

And I'm interesting in astrological guidance thats the reason why I asked for relationship and / or child. If someone agree with my opinion or not doesnt matter. Everyone should live as he wanted to live.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Suit yourself, Trisha.

But no: some people want to live their lives in ways that harm other people. That's not acceptable.

As I said, I don't think you really want astrological (or any other) advice: just validation of what you've already decided.

But we're not here simply to validate your beliefs, but to tell you the truth as we see it.

You've never addressed how you experience your loaded 8th house. You don't have to, but it is the big "elephant in the room" for you.

The one puzzle piece missing for you is what is truly best for a child, and for your child if you have one, especially as s/he gets older and is no longer that cute little pink or blue bundle.

Your 5th house of children is ruled by Jupiter in detriment in the 8th house, and opposed by Saturn. This doesn't mean you cannot be a wonderful loving mother, but it will take more thought on your part as to how you will cope with the inevitable practical stresses of single parenthood.

Then what is best for whatever man you might fancy as a father or your partner? He doesn't even appear as a true human being you might deeply love and care about, but merely as someone who shows up to meet your biological needs-- or he's outta there.

Just some things to think about.
 

katydid

Well-known member
You have the North Node, of future growth, in the 4th of home and emotional foundation.

I can see why you feel drawn to building your own family.

You have Jupiter ruling your 5th house of children, sandwiched between your Sun/Moon in the 8th.

The Sun/Moon midpoint is a powerful place, indicating our greatest wish for fulfilment. So I believe you will put your heart and soul into motherhood if you get the opportunity.

It is important that you find a way to incorporate and integrate the child’s father into your life in a healthy way, because it will have a major impact upon the child’s life if you don’t. So take the time to find the right situation before you jump into it.
 

Trisha

Active member
Suit yourself, Trisha.

But no: some people want to live their lives in ways that harm other people. That's not acceptable.

As I said, I don't think you really want astrological (or any other) advice: just validation of what you've already decided.

But we're not here simply to validate your beliefs, but to tell you the truth as we see it.

You've never addressed how you experience your loaded 8th house. You don't have to, but it is the big "elephant in the room" for you.

The one puzzle piece missing for you is what is truly best for a child, and for your child if you have one, especially as s/he gets older and is no longer that cute little pink or blue bundle.

Your 5th house of children is ruled by Jupiter in detriment in the 8th house, and opposed by Saturn. This doesn't mean you cannot be a wonderful loving mother, but it will take more thought on your part as to how you will cope with the inevitable practical stresses of single parenthood.

Then what is best for whatever man you might fancy as a father or your partner? He doesn't even appear as a true human being you might deeply love and care about, but merely as someone who shows up to meet your biological needs-- or he's outta there.

Just some things to think about.

I have said to him what I want and what not. But when it does not fit, I will stay alone.

I also prefer to have a child in a relationship but I'm almost 4 years single and don't know how long It will last. I don't believe it will be for rest of life. When transitting Uranus will left 7th house, I will be approximately 37 years, to old to have a own child. So I have to choose plan b, to get a child on my own.

If you have got an advice how I should have a child without a relationship what's the best for the child, you could tell me this.. But no child is no option..

I don't want to validate my beliefs. It doesn't matter how I get a child, at least I get one 🤷*♀️

I only want to know when it's possible to be in relationship and or to have an own family.

Its not saturn jupiter opposition, it's saturn quincux jupiter. But saturn conjunct neptun.

Friends of mine, never met their father and don't miss anything. They grew up with their mom and their grandparents and never had problems.
 
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Trisha

Active member
You have the North Node, of future growth, in the 4th of home and emotional foundation.

I can see why you feel drawn to building your own family.

You have Jupiter ruling your 5th house of children, sandwiched between your Sun/Moon in the 8th.

The Sun/Moon midpoint is a powerful place, indicating our greatest wish for fulfilment. So I believe you will put your heart and soul into motherhood if you get the opportunity.

It is important that you find a way to incorporate and integrate the child’s father into your life in a healthy way, because it will have a major impact upon the child’s life if you don’t. So take the time to find the right situation before you jump into it.

Thank you and when it's possible? I know there are some indication (transits or so) when it's good to be mother
 

Trisha

Active member
Do you live in a country with a lot of social supports for single mothers? I am trying to decipher the meaning of your 4h NN in final / critical degree of Aqua. It sounds like the country discourages planned single motherhood by disallowing IVF.

What's wrong with having a co-parent who you see more as a friend?

Yes here is good supper for single mothers. Here mens have to pay for their children, if they want or not. If you want to have a sperm donation to prevent this, it's not allowed to use it as a single mother to do invitro.

Also venus is on 29th critical degree. Maybe it shows the way guys respond to me. Too much love/attraction or to less.
 

Trisha

Active member
My last relationship was when saturn was in scorpio, trined my natal mars. And ended with neptun square sun and saturn opposing moon. According to this, it could be possible when saturn in picses will trine again mars but this will be in April / May 2025. There i will be 36 but with every year the fertility of a women decreases
 
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Osamenor

Staff member
My last relationship was when saturn was in scorpio, trined my natal mars. And ended with neptun square sun and saturn opposing moon. According to this, it could be possible when saturn in picses will trine again mars but this will be in April / May 2025. There i will be 36 but with every year the fertility of a women decreases

Saturn trine your natal Mars couldn't have been the astrological reason you entered a relationship then. Trines are not change making transits. The real change maker at that time would have been a square, opposition, or conjunction.

Do you have a transit chart for when that relationship started? Same month would be close enough, if you don't remember the exact date.

Mars and Jupiter are the main planets to watch for the beginning of a relationship. Those are the ones that suggest getting interested in something/someone. If there's a hard angle Saturn transit at the same time, to a personal planet or an angle or itself in your natal chart, that increases the chances of it being a long term relationship.

Those transits happen often enough that there are many windows of opportunity. More, in fact, than anyone actually takes. Sometimes that window of opportunity for a relationship becomes a window of opportunity for something else. If you're already in one or not interested, or simply not ready, the transit that "should" have brought a relationship won't.
 
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Trisha

Active member
thats right.

so here is the chart. I could see is Transit-Uranus square natal Nept/sat., Jup opp. Nept/Sat., Pluto konj. Nept./Sat. Its a t-square. Fascanating

but thats all no personal planets or angles. so i thought saturntransit natal mars was reasonable.

i thought oppositions and squares are stressful aspects and bring trouble and pressure. :unsure:

Or is it that when you have good aspects like a trine at same time, its supportive.

Is it enough when you have one square/opposition? Or is there also a good saturn necassary like above?

On June 18th Saturn and Uranus will also build a t-square to natal pluto.
 

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Osamenor

Staff member
i thought oppositions and squares are stressful aspects and bring trouble and pressure. :unsure:
They do, but usually not in the way you're thinking. That's when the time is ripe for something in your life to change. The pressure is the need for that change. The "trouble" is being dissatisfied enough with the status quo to seek change, or at least be open to it.

A new relationship is a change in the status quo, and it's a change in the status quo that can't happen without your consent. If you were content with your relationship status quo, you wouldn't want a new one, so you wouldn't enter a new one. You would not be consenting to that status quo change.

Or is it that when you have good aspects like a trine at same time, its supportive.
Exactly. It's like the mythical hero's journey. The hard angle transit is the challenge the hero faces. The easy transit is what the hero has or finds that makes the challenge possible to meet.

A trine from Saturn to your Mars could have given you some momentum in leaping into that relationship, but without other transits in the picture, it wouldn't have motivated you.

OrIs it enough when you have one square/opposition? Or is there also a good saturn necassary like above?
There are many ways it could work. Way too many to list. You really have to look at the whole picture, not just cherry pick individual transits.

To that end, I can't read the charts you posted because the lines you drew on them are way too distracting. I can see for myself where the aspects you highlighted are. What I need to be able to see is the rest of the transits. Your highlight makes me unable to see them.
 
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waybread

Well-known member
Trisha, I'm not here to scold you.

But I was struck by your OP, saying that basically you hate your horoscope, and you are very dissatisfied with your life. No matter how loudly your biological clock is ticking just now, I just don't see you as emotionally in a good place to raise a happy child. A baby isn't going to solve your simmering resentment-- it will add to your stress, what with sleepless nights, and having to put the baby's needs ahead of your own.

Can you imagine what it is like for a child to grow up with a mother who is single and full of resentments about how her life has turned out?

You're right about the quincunx, BTW-- my error. Still, it is an aspect that generates tension. It is part of a yod pointing towards your sun. So a big part of your life journey is developing your sense of self as a curiosity-driven Gemini in matters concerning the 8th house. If you're making little progress in this area, a baby is going to mean less time for your personal journey, not more.

I don't take a fatalistic, deterministic view towards predicting when certain events will happen. They might not happen at all. Astrology can show good and bad times, or likely vs. unlikely times for something to happen.

Saturn isn't the planet of romance. Look to Venus, maybe to Jupiter transits and progressions.
 
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Osamenor

Staff member
A baby isn't going to solve your simmering resentment-- it will add to your stress, what with sleepless nights, and having to put the baby's needs ahead of your own.
Coming from someone who's had babies and raised them to adulthood, that's a good reality check.

Saturn isn't the planet of romance.
True. Saturn is the planet of commitment. That's why I said hard angle Saturn transits increase the chances of a relationship started under them being long term. Without a hard angle Saturn transit going on, a relationship could still come, but chances are it won't last more than two or three years, tops. If all you want is something non-serious and not that long lasting, that's fine, but for a til death do us part kind of relationship, Saturn is the glue.

Saturn can also be the rock a relationship breaks against. It may sound counterintuitive, but new relationships and breakups both happen under the same kinds of transits. Either way, it's a change in the status quo.

Look to Venus, maybe to Jupiter transits and progressions.
And Mars. That's the sex drive planet, the go getter planet, the get enthusiastic planet.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Thanks, Osamenor--

I think I've had it both ways.

I cannot recall a time when I did not want children, and I was blessed with marriage and two beloved children-- now in middle age. I am also a grandmother, from more of a distance than I want, but such is modern life-- as well as covid travel restrictions.

But I also recall my own mother. She was a very intelligent, educated woman who was normal enough when I was young, but around about my high school years, I began to see her as someone deeply dissatisfied with her life-- and inclined to take it out on her family members. She seemed constantly critical, to the point where I got into the mold of simply trying to please her so that she wouldn't come out with something hurtful. Later when I was a young adult she suffered from depression and probably alcoholism. (She died when I was 35.)

None of her negativity was easy to be around.

Which is what concerns me, Trisha, about your posts.

People who read charts on this forum do see a lot of unhappy people. Which stands to reason. Nobody comes here saying, "I am happy and my life is great. How do you explain that?" People turn to astrology when life doesn't go so smoothly. (As I did.)

But your level of anger and anxiety is unusually high, even for an astrology forum. If you cannot find a happier space from within yourself-- simply because this is the stand you take for yourself, independently of your external circumstances-- I wonder how you're going to be around a young child who will place extraordinary demands on you.

You mention dropping some prospective boyfriends because they were too "clinchy" or clingy. (Did you "meet" them "shopping" on the Internet, or were these men you actually know personally?)

Well, if anyone is "clingy," it is a young child in relation to her mother. The child's survival depends on it.

So what would you do when you're feeling irritable and the baby won't stop crying? At 3:00 in the morning? And it doesn't end there. Wait till your teenager is out with friends for the evening and doesn't come home at the agreed-upon time? And his school work is slipping? And so on.

I hope you do get what you want in life. My concern is that you cannot get to it from here.
 
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