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Unread 07-17-2021, 04:08 PM
Anri9 Anri9 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 12
Re: Doubt with a capital D!

Harmelia...
what can I say if not a big THANK YOU?
I really appreciate your insight, you have been very kind to take your time to analyze my situation. It surely is 'challenging' and sometimes i feel guilty to complain because otherwise I have a nice and peaceful life. No 'actual' problems! I'm healthy, I have my studies (I study medicine at uni), my love, my friends and my family, and even if things aren't perfect I consider myself lucky.

If only I could find the ultimate peace of mind, but I don't know if it's actually possible, as anyone has its own personal fight.

It's just that I don't understand why THIS. And I feel kinda strange even talking about it with my friends (only a few of them know). My boyfriend knows it and doesn't judge me, and in my mind I KNOW rationally that I can't be just a lesbian if 1) I love him so much 2) I never fell for another girl nor I want too.

I'll be bisexual (if anything), and even in that case I could keep on staying with him. I have a big fear of losing him (I'm not that jealous or something, I completely trust him) and maybe it plays out like this.
Nowadays it feels all so confusing, it's just like I HAVE to keep on questioning and answer to the same questions for whichever reason. I feel better only... when I stop thinking about it
Maybe you're right! meditating could be a great choice!

Also, you're sooo spot on with the 'don't be critical to other people' advice. I used to be EXTREMELY critical, but nowadays i feel more accepting and understand better others' needs. For example I've always been quite 'harsh' on my mom. She isn't a very warm person, not very motherly, and when I was younger I struggled a lot to identify with her, and I preferred my dad or my grandma as parent figures. But as years went by I started to understand her better and her own wound with her mother (she has a Chiron/moon exact conj) and now we have a good relationship. I hope to be a mother in my future, I love children sooo much... but at the same time I'm scared to be a cold mom towards them, even if I don't want to.

Also, people in general tend to confide a lot in me, telling me personal things even if i don't want to know them sometimes, since I was a child, and often it can be overwhelming because I tend to internalize their emotions. I love to listen to others, but sometimes I feel like i just need to be with my close persons, the ones with whom I can feel content EVEN in silence.



Can I ask your opinion on the houses of the nodes? Does a 4th house NN mean that my goal in life is to focus more on my family/home life than on my public persona/my career? And what about this sooo badly aspected Jupiter on the descendant that squares them?


Thank you so much again... and wish you well, wherever you are! <3

Last edited by Anri9; 07-17-2021 at 04:36 PM.
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