Why did she choose him over me?

WisdomJoy

Well-known member
I have a new third party question and I welcome any insight you might have. This isn't about my friend and his ex fiance, she didn't leave him for anyone.

Q: Why did she choose him over me?
Context:Essentially they were together/ dating and then she chose to move forward with someone else and it really hurt him :( What I know is that this person was of similar background/ race/ and similar education. That's all the info I could really get from the situation (aka my insta investigation skills).

- L1: is saturn and in the first house (domiciled), focusing on themselves- yay! :)
- L7: is the moon (in faces) & co-sig the sun, and sitting in his 5th house of romance, I feel like this is -where L7's focus is at this point- but it's also reception by house for L5 right? So does this mean that L7 loves L5? or just that L5 receives L7 well?
- Ruler of L7's 5th house is Jupiter and sitting in L7's first house, does this mean the relationship is more serious than originally thought? What's interesting is that jupiter is in fall in this house, so not doing well and the relationship is not benefitting them.
- L1 and the ruler of the 5th house are sitting in L7's 7th house of relationships so I'm wondering if that shows the indecision between the two of them.
- Venus is sitting is L1's 5th house and normally i would say that they are seeing someone but they are hella single at the present momento.
- L7 co-sig the sun is approaching Jupiter with a trine, so that tells me that they are still together in a relationship (im making this assumption, i have no proof)- but I believe that Jupiter is going retro soon, so will this aspect even happen?
- there's no aspect between L1 and L7
- Sun is approaching a hard square to mars, which rules L7's 4th house of family and L1's third house of communication. Wonder if a fight is brewing here.
- both the L7 (the moon) and L1 (saturn) are separating from chiron, seems like there was some hurt in the situation from both sides.


But I have no idea around the why?

My key insight in from this chart though, the person doing the worst is the person that was chosen lol

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

WJ

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WisdomJoy

Well-known member
well .. moon wanted jupiter

Thanks Tikana, appreciate your help. Any other insight for me? I mean, I don't even know if they are still together, which I wish I did because then the analysis would be better.

- How does L7 feel about L1? (my curiosity)
 

scahm

Well-known member
What I find confusing about this is L7's 5th house ruler not only sitting in the querent's first house, but also conjuncting the querent. I would've interpreted that as a strong sexual interest in the querent?

Maybe it's different because there's a third party involved though.
 

tikana

Well-known member
What I find confusing about this is L7's 5th house ruler not only sitting in the querent's first house, but also conjuncting the querent. I would've interpreted that as a strong sexual interest in the querent?

Maybe it's different because there's a third party involved though.

umm no.

you share 1st house with querent's man of choice.
 

Chrysalis

Well-known member
Was the one she left him for slightly older? And was she dating for marriage?

I think the other one was either slightly older or was more mature, more dependable and she could probably see herself feeling more secure with him in terms of having a future marriage.
 

WisdomJoy

Well-known member
Was the one she left him for slightly older? And was she dating for marriage?

I think the other one was either slightly older or was more mature, more dependable and she could probably see herself feeling more secure with him in terms of having a future marriage.

Thanks so much for your thoughts. They are the same age. Yea, that’s makes sense since they are the same race, religion, educational and cultural background. What I find interesting is Jupiter is in detriment though. So the relationship is harming them.

Also, why are they both sitting in the 7th house of the girl? Does she have feelings for both of them?
 
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ElenaJ

Well-known member
First your friend, who is Capricorn.
His house is loaded, I'm wondering why.
We see Pluto from his 10th house, his career and reputation important to him.
We see Jupiter, his 11th of friends and his 2nd of money.
And we see his ruler, Saturn, in his house.
He's involved in everything but her!
Do we already have the answer as to why she looked elsewhere? Hmmm.
Let's look at her.
She is moon, sensitive, emotional, feminine.
In sagittarius, fun loving, probably likes music, sports maybe, in her 5th house of fun.
And she was with a Capricorn who was tied up in his work, his friends, and his money.
Note the asteroid Union, exactly squared the ascendent/descendent, so there was no comfortable union together. Union coming from the chart's 9th house shows they have different ways of looking at being together, at having a relationship.
In fact moon last passed over union, so she was looking for this. It didn't work, moon moved on.
We see a confirmation of this in Juno opposing Chiron, why should a marriage type relationship have pain? (thank you wisdomjoy for inserting these).
And moon cared, maybe still does, for querent. She is in the house ruled by Saturn, she is in his 11th of friends. There is no reception between the two significators, though, so they weren't able to come together.
So, who did she choose?
It could be the 5th, where moon is situated, and represents a love affair. In sagittarius, someone who likes to have fun like her. And probably flirtatious with her, ruled by jovial generous Jupiter (not grumpy Saturn!). Jupiter ruler of the "other" is in the other's 3rd house, making a trine to mercury. He talks to her!
Another way of signifying an alternative, is to take the 3rd from the 7th. (the first man is the 7th, the second man is the 3rd from 7th, the fourth would be 3rd from there, etc).
So, the 3rd from the 7th is the radical 3rd. Aries ruled by mars. Energetic, impulsive, aggressive, individualistic. And look, Lilith is there. (is this black moon Lilith?). So we also see unbridled sex!
With Venus of love squaring Neptune we know there is a lot of confusion going on here about love, and moon entering this configuration by square with Neptune shows she has her doubts, she is confused at the moment, feeling deluded and disappointed.
We do see that moon next passes over Pluto conjunct the ascendent. Pluto is transformation, as well as sex, and rules the querent's midheaven. If he can get his act together, he might still have a chance with her. Pluto trines mercury ruler of the querent's 5th, so some thought of romance and love can still save the situation.
 

WisdomJoy

Well-known member
First your friend, who is Capricorn.
His house is loaded, I'm wondering why.
We see Pluto from his 10th house, his career and reputation important to him.
We see Jupiter, his 11th of friends and his 2nd of money.
And we see his ruler, Saturn, in his house.
He's involved in everything but her!
Do we already have the answer as to why she looked elsewhere? Hmmm.
Let's look at her.
She is moon, sensitive, emotional, feminine.
In sagittarius, fun loving, probably likes music, sports maybe, in her 5th house of fun.
And she was with a Capricorn who was tied up in his work, his friends, and his money.
Note the asteroid Union, exactly squared the ascendent/descendent, so there was no comfortable union together. Union coming from the chart's 9th house shows they have different ways of looking at being together, at having a relationship.
In fact moon last passed over union, so she was looking for this. It didn't work, moon moved on.
We see a confirmation of this in Juno opposing Chiron, why should a marriage type relationship have pain? (thank you wisdomjoy for inserting these).
And moon cared, maybe still does, for querent. She is in the house ruled by Saturn, she is in his 11th of friends. There is no reception between the two significators, though, so they weren't able to come together.
So, who did she choose?
It could be the 5th, where moon is situated, and represents a love affair. In sagittarius, someone who likes to have fun like her. And probably flirtatious with her, ruled by jovial generous Jupiter (not grumpy Saturn!). Jupiter ruler of the "other" is in the other's 3rd house, making a trine to mercury. He talks to her!
Another way of signifying an alternative, is to take the 3rd from the 7th. (the first man is the 7th, the second man is the 3rd from 7th, the fourth would be 3rd from there, etc).
So, the 3rd from the 7th is the radical 3rd. Aries ruled by mars. Energetic, impulsive, aggressive, individualistic. And look, Lilith is there. (is this black moon Lilith?). So we also see unbridled sex!
With Venus of love squaring Neptune we know there is a lot of confusion going on here about love, and moon entering this configuration by square with Neptune shows she has her doubts, she is confused at the moment, feeling deluded and disappointed.
We do see that moon next passes over Pluto conjunct the ascendent. Pluto is transformation, as well as sex, and rules the querent's midheaven. If he can get his act together, he might still have a chance with her. Pluto trines mercury ruler of the querent's 5th, so some thought of romance and love can still save the situation.

You hit it out of the park again, ElenaJ. I always love reading your analysis. Give me second to digest though, I'm sure I'll have some follow up questions.

What really struck me is that my friend's relationship with the girl was a bit "heavy" for both of them. I agree, I think the girl and him have very different ideas about a relationship and what it should look like. My friend was focused on marriage so wanting a relationship where they could be the best possible. So he was very focused on building, she didn't want to focus on the work she had to do in order to grow. So she seemed to want something "easier".

Yes, you're right- he's super ambitious and has a ton of friends and a big family, his career is important to him as well. So he will always have a ton of things going on. But so does the other guy, or so it seems. Actually, I take that back, I think the other guy is more focused on career and maybe close relationships. The key difference in my friend that I noticed with the other guy (from my amazing research skills), is my friend is clearly an extrovert and both the girl and the dude she chose are heavy introverts. Even when I googled the dude, the narrative I found only seemed very restrictive, clearly specific, only focused on career, nothing more. Even his twitter account is very very reserved and super serious in tone.

So hearing this love affair thing, I'm somewhat surprised. I thought my friend would be the fun one lol

But what is moon confused about? is it about my friend, the querent, or is it the new dude. Which to me the new dude seemed like such a bore, so I'm surprised she even chose him. I wonder if she feels like she made the wrong choice and now she's feeling disappointed.

If the other person is Jupiter, then they are in detriment. I wonder if Jupiter wants more and she's keep it light and airy, focussing on just sex.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
She's having trouble choosing, I think.
Keep in mind she is double-sign sagittarius.
Also, it is how they interact, any two persons, that is important, and not how we perceive from the outside how they interact.
 

WisdomJoy

Well-known member
She's having trouble choosing, I think.
Keep in mind she is double-sign sagittarius.
Also, it is how they interact, any two persons, that is important, and not how we perceive from the outside how they interact.

Isn't moon in the house of sagittarius, ruled by Jupiter not Saturn? Does that mean that she cares more about the other dude than my friend?

I mean, I think she cares a lot about my friend too. Also, she seems to have already chose, does this mean that she's having trouble with her decision?
 
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WisdomJoy

Well-known member
My friend is going to be so happy to hear this! woo! Apparently they haven't spoken in months but obviously he still cares about her a lot.

Also, what does the Lilith mean exactly, like it's sitting in the house and means unbridled sex so it means/represents their sexual relationship?
 

WisdomJoy

Well-known member
She's having trouble choosing, I think.
Keep in mind she is double-sign sagittarius.
Also, it is how they interact, any two persons, that is important, and not how we perceive from the outside how they interact.

Also, what about her being double sign Sagittarius? Like she's inclined to want them both?
 

WisdomJoy

Well-known member
Double is double.
Remember the Neptune connection, confusion, who to choose?

Gotcha so feeling multiple things at the same time. Yup, totally makes sense. What I find interesting is they haven't connected in months, He definitely cares about her and boom, what do you know, the chart exposes that homegirl is having issues with her decision and cares about him too.

I swear, horary exposes all.
 
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