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Unread 11-01-2016, 07:29 PM
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Neptunian Rainbow Neptunian Rainbow is offline
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Re: Lilith conjunct ascendant

Originally Posted by love-thinking View Post
I have BML conjunct my mc (4.5 degree orb), BML opposite sun(below 0), and square ascendent(4.5), and BML inconjunct venus. I don't know if these are huge orbs.

I have had times, when I'd literally feel ugly as f, and a guy would magically be smitten by me on a date, or through webcam and I'd be here thinking about how he's going to reject me or how ugly I may look. But then again I also have chiron and aphrodite conjunct my libra ascendent(1 degree)and venus trine it along with lots of dark goddess asteroids on my first house like persophophone. I don't know about obsession, I've had men want to **** me, with some having no control over themselves even at inappropriate times. I used to use sex as a way to make up with my ex and he'd always give in. He called me a temptress and has called me a sexy ***** in bed after a fight.

Men treat me like an object, some sort of conquest, sometimes it gets overbearing because sometimes all I want is a man to see me as a human with feelings rather than the next conquest to stimulate their ego and penis but there's nothing I can do about it. I say no, their egos are bruised and somettimes they won't give up until they get what they want. Most of the time, I run because I feel stuck. There's no practicality with my interaction with men. They are purely run by instincts and take things too personally.

And in a relationship, my kindness and thoughtfulness is usually overpowered by how many guys I know, how many times I message him per day, and whether I wear provacative clothing or make up. My heart and acts of kindness is not enough to prove any kind of loyalty. (My last relationship ended because he thought I cheated but I didn't)

But then again, even my chart says I attract firey, impulsive, sexed, egomaniac creeps that are run by their emotions, impulses and insecurities. Perhaps I attract other lilith types?

Anyways, I'm not going to say I hate my sex appeal, I just sometimes wish that I felt as sexy inside as these men treat me on the outside. I just wish I saw it but I don't.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, they definitely seem similar to mine!

I have also noticed that men feel jealous when they are with me. It seems as if they believe that I am promiscuos and I am really the opposite of that. I have always been faithful and when I have a relationship I never feel attracted to other men and I am not the flirtatious type.

Men often feel intensely interested in the beginning. Then they seem scared and easily triggered, or feel that they want another kind of woman. However they often tell me that they still want me sexually and many of them contact me months or years later.

I have also solved problems within relationships with sex. I guess I am more comfortable with being sexual than I am with dealing with conflicts. My last ex did not feel worthy of me and was hot/cold. I should probably have given him compliments instead when he felt low.

About your aspects; I do not believe that your orbs are too wide.

I imagine that Aphrodite conjunct ascendant is more about being beautiful.

A friend of mine has Chiron conjunct ascendant and she is often afraid that men will reject/leave her if she would gain a little weight or something. Men see her as attractive but her self-image is twisted. This seems to be a difficult aspect and I believe that it makes it difficult for you to see yourself the way men do.

Persephone in the first house might be about feeling powerless in some aspect.

I have read that women with Lilith on the angles or with the sun will experience this theme in their life.

I do not believe that Lilith necessarily is bad. She is untamed and some men are afraid of independent women. Lilith does not behave the way men want her to behave in order to be loved. I leave a man if something is wrong.

It may be that you attract men who express a lower kind of Lilith or that you attract men who have difficulties with accepting a free and untamed woman = Lilith.
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