tautomer
Well-known member
This has been something I have been pondering for a while now. It seems to me like everyone has a particular type(s) of energy that they don't work well with, but seem to be drawn to it. This could either be energy patterns of people, environments, animals, you name it (as I believe that there is an "energy" to everything). I believe that this can be applied to astrology as well. I know not if there is anything to this, or this is just a personal anomaly I have noticed with myself. Which, is distinctly possible given my directive to be drawn to the taboo.
For me, the astrological energy that is "taboo" for me, is Neptune, or Neptunian energy in general. There is something about that is deeply fascinating, enthralling, and endless about it. It also bridges the world between the light and dark in a way I can't conceive myself; it fuses them into a seamless whole, and I want to explore that. Oh how I want to explore the darkness within the light and never come back.
Yet, Neptunian energy is dangerous to me. It is actually counter in many ways to how I am. Someone who is very black and white with defined borders, plans, principals, and rules. When I see someone who is Neptunian to their core, I think to myself: "Wow, how do they do that. Everything is just seamless and unplanned yet intuitive". I am naturally quite intuitive as well, but my methods for it are traceable and tangible.
If one were to look at my chart, it becomes apparent that my Neptune is hit pretty hard. It's conjunct Saturn for one (restriction), it opposes Mars exactly (ungroundable physicality), squares my ascendent, and opposes chiron and midhaven at a wide orb. In my chart, Neptunian energy is not allowed to easily flow around. Much more so then any other planet.
When I try to merge into Neptunain energy I start to fall apart. It beckons me often. Much of the music I listen to has a highly neptunain feel to it, and I feel whisked away to another world oh so easily. It's a beautiful escape for me. In college I came across several neptunain individuals, and was fascinated with them and their antics. Seeing that I have a fascination with the devious, and anything that I feel is "non-permitted" with me, I saw these folks and their forays into drugs as such a mystical realm. Oh how I longed to do what they did. Drink all day, go to bed, not remember a thing, go to class hung over and repeat. It was as if there was a man holding them up the entire time directing their movements. Watching themselves go through the motions completely living in the moment but perpetually having one foot out the door. Same with drugs. Any time I tried to merge with this. This dark side of neptune, I fell apart. I could not sustain myself and felt like I was violating the key principals of myself.
It was forbideen, taboo, in every regard for me. I am freaked out easily by anything not plans and nailed down. Any sort of uncertainty. Neptune uproots that and in my life I experience an inordinate amount of stress due to unknowns around me. Yet in hindsight, those things were energizing. I had a keen rememberence of those times and they are burned into my memory, sectionalized.
In summation. I feel like neptunain energy is something I will always be drawn to, because it is something that I just am not. My mom would say to me when I was a child that I would always be drawn to neptunian things (music, art, games, etc.) but would ultimately become Plutionian (which is what I am) as I went through it. For background purposes my mom has known what my natal chart is since I was 4 or so.
So I open the floor to discussion. Do you feel that there is anything to this? What energy, planet, or sign for you is "the taboo", what is your relation to it, how do you manage it. Most importantly though, how do you feel when you attempt to merge with it?
Discuss! [FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]
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For me, the astrological energy that is "taboo" for me, is Neptune, or Neptunian energy in general. There is something about that is deeply fascinating, enthralling, and endless about it. It also bridges the world between the light and dark in a way I can't conceive myself; it fuses them into a seamless whole, and I want to explore that. Oh how I want to explore the darkness within the light and never come back.
Yet, Neptunian energy is dangerous to me. It is actually counter in many ways to how I am. Someone who is very black and white with defined borders, plans, principals, and rules. When I see someone who is Neptunian to their core, I think to myself: "Wow, how do they do that. Everything is just seamless and unplanned yet intuitive". I am naturally quite intuitive as well, but my methods for it are traceable and tangible.
If one were to look at my chart, it becomes apparent that my Neptune is hit pretty hard. It's conjunct Saturn for one (restriction), it opposes Mars exactly (ungroundable physicality), squares my ascendent, and opposes chiron and midhaven at a wide orb. In my chart, Neptunian energy is not allowed to easily flow around. Much more so then any other planet.
When I try to merge into Neptunain energy I start to fall apart. It beckons me often. Much of the music I listen to has a highly neptunain feel to it, and I feel whisked away to another world oh so easily. It's a beautiful escape for me. In college I came across several neptunain individuals, and was fascinated with them and their antics. Seeing that I have a fascination with the devious, and anything that I feel is "non-permitted" with me, I saw these folks and their forays into drugs as such a mystical realm. Oh how I longed to do what they did. Drink all day, go to bed, not remember a thing, go to class hung over and repeat. It was as if there was a man holding them up the entire time directing their movements. Watching themselves go through the motions completely living in the moment but perpetually having one foot out the door. Same with drugs. Any time I tried to merge with this. This dark side of neptune, I fell apart. I could not sustain myself and felt like I was violating the key principals of myself.
It was forbideen, taboo, in every regard for me. I am freaked out easily by anything not plans and nailed down. Any sort of uncertainty. Neptune uproots that and in my life I experience an inordinate amount of stress due to unknowns around me. Yet in hindsight, those things were energizing. I had a keen rememberence of those times and they are burned into my memory, sectionalized.
In summation. I feel like neptunain energy is something I will always be drawn to, because it is something that I just am not. My mom would say to me when I was a child that I would always be drawn to neptunian things (music, art, games, etc.) but would ultimately become Plutionian (which is what I am) as I went through it. For background purposes my mom has known what my natal chart is since I was 4 or so.
So I open the floor to discussion. Do you feel that there is anything to this? What energy, planet, or sign for you is "the taboo", what is your relation to it, how do you manage it. Most importantly though, how do you feel when you attempt to merge with it?
Discuss! [FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]
[/FONT][/FONT]