I am confused about where I belong

pinecloud

Well-known member
According to just Sun Position Based Astrology, I could say I may be of a Cancer,
but I am not endowed with typical Cancer traits such as Business Insight nor Tenacity
[FONT=&quot]Please look at the chart and let me know where I really belong.I have tried relationship with other membres of Water signs and none were successful except Scorpio. I found Libra was compatible and I married a Libra when I was still early 20s.I also found an excellent temperament match with amongst Aquarians (Long Lasting and Faithful due to fixed sign nature-they even look me up after any length of absence) I can see this since I have strong Uranus and Venus rising in the first house of Gemini
Thank you
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Niplan

Banned
pluto saturn in the 3rd may indicate one who communicates with great fear, due to saturns hold over pluto, as well with a sextile to neptune, and a square to jupiter, You may feal that your communiation is pleagued by deciet and lies, or illusions, you may be one who is prone to speaking in elaborate metaphores, or good at metaphores.

Jupiter feeding on those fears with an expanded 6th house scorpio may indicate a deep fear of sickness and illness.

this may be caused by a fear of your own 3rd house skills and abilities wich would be communication.

Native may have a tendcy to hide their emotions of not only venus's power but mars as well, May indicate that one who wishes to keep secret what they truley want, And may deem that since they can't have it they may as well not try, The only thing that may be preventing the native from attanting what they want, Is themselves, As they hide their love for all things away, And fear their own communication skills.


unless im wrong of course then please tell me.
 
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The questions usually answered first in the Greenhorn Lounge are those where a member makes an attempt to answer their own question astrologically ( but this is not mandatory). This shows a willingness to learn and the most of the members here are always willing to help others understand.


This forum (in my opinion) is more of a discussion and learning site, and the main objective is to encourage, interact and explain astrologically why something is happening in your life, rather than just ‘drop the answer in your lap’ and not necessarily to provide professional readings and forecast future events.

Basic astrology
Now basically your sun sign is your 'core beliefs, values, ego' and Asc is your physical body, mode of expression and mask and persona that we all wear and hide behind, but definitely not what's going on underneath. What's going on underneath is your Sun sign. Moon sign, house placements and aspects describe your emotional and intuitive responses, also describes your view of your mother, as saturn describes your father by sign and house position.

So, think of a glass milk bottle the bottle is your Asc and your sun the milk, but the milk still has to 'come out' through the glass neck of the milk bottle....

Now aspects within a natal chart represent 'facets' of our personality, because we are all multifaceted beings. What these do is 'break down and compartmentalise' these facets into smaller bite size chunks. This does take quite a lot of self analysis and objectivity to 'see yourself' and why you do certain things and behave in certain ways. Actually it can be quite good therapy...

Your sun sign Cancer is placed in first house with Venus and mars. This house is your 'outer' mode of expression and is ruled naturally by Aries, which would give you a competative edge, talk a lot, prov rather restless procrastinating and don't like making decisions.
 

smilingsteph

Well-known member
I was attracted to this thread as I know how it feels not to know where you belong, that is why I got interested in astrology!

Your rising sign is also important. The face you project out to others when you first meet someone. This is in Gemini and you might get different reactions from others because of this, thus making you think that a Cancer sun sign is just not you. Peoples perceptions of us can sometimes influence the way we see ourselves (I probably say this now because I have neptune transiting over my asc., I digress :))

Now you also have your moon in the earthy sign of capricorn, so you are probably pretty sensible, hardworking, trustworthy, dependable in your relationships with others.

So you have your basics, sun, moon and rising....look at those and the elements:
Air, earth, water and fire...what do you have most of?
Then if you can let us know how you relate to that and think of anything else you would like to know just ask.
 

pinecloud

Well-known member
Would you kindly look at another chart. I have such a deep seated yearning to this person.
We started out quite favourably and honestly but now we do not even talk to each other.
I want to know what is wrong on my side as well as how to restore delicate harmony
[FONT=&quot]existed between us. Thank you for your time.[/FONT]
 

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pinecloud

Well-known member
Re: I am confused an totally lost

I have had the problem honestly expressing emotions
and lost nearly all the opportunities for lasting
companionship all the way along. as age advanced
I became so slow to recognise other's expressions of
love, therefore I am totally lost - I feel I am
out of sync to human clock
 
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Flapjacks

Well-known member
Pinecloud, you also have an opposition with your moon in capricorn. I have this too (and gemini rising.. haha, you must be a brother from another mother... except with a little more florid of language), and I've noticed it offsets some of the traditional cancer traits. It also is a cause for feeling out of place... because your ego drives and your emotions can be so radically different from each other, and may be a reason why you have difficulty expressing them honesty.

Also, I'm sorry to be frank, but for future reference your posts sound like you are desiring attention and reassurance, but please listen to what others have to say... you've been ignoring a lot of advice from the people who respond to you.
 
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pinecloud

Well-known member
Re: Supplementum

Clue to Past Relationship






Planet or point Aspects Planet Sign Orb House
Her Ascendant Conjunct My Sun Can -00:06' 1st
Her North Node Conjunct My Sun Can 02:18 1
Her Moon Conjunct My North Node Gem -01:28 1
Her South Node Conjunct My Moon Gem 02:18 1
Her Venus Conjunct My Mars Gem -10:16 1
Her Moon Conjunct My Mars Gem -10:15 1


[FONT=&quot]We communicated much without word.
She asked me if I was happy and I nodded [deleted sexually suggestive language - Moderator] She seemed a devastatingly romantic and affectionate like Leo or Even Scorpion
[/FONT]
 
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katydid

Well-known member
Re: Supplementum

Sadly, she is gone. I do not see any way for her to return to you. Aries move on and get on with their lives, and never look back. And meanwhile, you seem to have lost yourself in past, sad, memories. That is your Sun in Cancer showing itself.
You mentioned a grown daughter. Are you close to her? Does she have children? It seems like you need to nurture and love deeply, and that might be of some help now.
 
Why is that? Are the 2 persons inside you a bit unbalanced:sick:? Then let me help you out a little.

You should search for some other ASC Gemini+MC Aquarius or why not a ASC Leo+MC Aries person? Astral siblings and cousins should be the best option. And you claim that Sun Aquarius is faithfull. Since when? Pisces is bad and so is Scorpio for a Cancerian but Libra is fine. See I am a Cancerian myself and like Virgo, Libra and Sagittarius a lot:whistling:.

Why? Only girls of these signs were truly in depth interested of me when being a kid myself. Girls of other signs were too shallow or lacked interest for me alltogether. Oh and when coming to relationships it's wise to look at Mars and Jupiter depending on how your hobbies and philosophy of life look like:unsure:.
 

pinecloud

Well-known member
Re: Supplementum

Aries move on and get on with their lives said:
Thanks for your time in answering my questions.
If she is gone, I want to know what actually went on between us
[FONT=&quot]was it simply that she was a good actor putting such a show?
[/FONT] After my Nurse and I parted. I heard from other nurses that

she was in a bad mood for a while complaining I did not even say


GoodBye, when I left Then Her Coleagues advised her to forget whatever

was in her mind. Then she gave up her beautiful and lush long hair

real short and dyed to fake blonde. It seems like her plan did not work out
on me the way she wanted to. So sad for her


my ultimate life motto is not transient pleasesure but eternal harmony transcending to eternal unity into the soul of [FONT=&quot]woman like my cousin since I may not be able to restore access to the soul of my Nurse.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT] Almost all my female cousins shared fear of their fate incruding typical Aries as sheen here Due to limited number of healthy carriers of ancient imperial blood line. back to Hei-An Era. They do not have much of choices to marry except an aristocrat or a descendant of feudal samurai war lord. Further there is unwritten ancient codes that they will be forced to give up title of 'Lady' or 'Her Serene Highness' if failed to give birth to a viable heir within five years. The feudal traditions expects her to shave off all her hair and spend rest of her life in a Buddhist monastery and remain unseen to public. In Europe, Women shall not organise themselves, not to be seen in public institutions - commonly known as Cannon Law by Pope Clementius V made all wemen in Parpal state more affectionate and helplessly clinging creatures in Renaissance era as seen in Operatic Tragedies of that time


In our life back in Kyoto, Japan. she brought this topic twice regarding shaving

of her head after someone proposed her for marriage.We hugged
and wept together for hours. She was so stunned
to find a someone in an opposite sex who truely understand
and sympathise her dillemma so vividly.
We promissed that We would throw our selves to Hozu
River Rapids together before she has to shave her head in hope
that our soul to be united to eternnal peace. The promise
instilled lifelong helpless clinging to one another and even ghost like haunting
I am always drawn to her resemblance.

I want to know What in our charts causing these adolescent events
interfere all the relationship threafter even40 years later



One palm reader said that It can not healed unless I am willing to abondon
1000+ years antiquities runs in the family and marry a commoner
and start new life outside City of Kyoto

( I received some criticism against describing the details of such devastating romanticism which I believe are idealistic and pristine as water flows in glacier melt streams in high altitude mountains away from inhabited land significantly distant from explicit sexual connotations. I agree that I am a feminist. Finely detailed expressions are part of our 1000 years old Hei-An (Eternal Pease) Intellectualism flourished in Japan since 960 AD, Similar flourished in renaissance Europe and ancient Greece, Sweden around theFamily of Count Sparre16-20 centuries Including Clinging Love Story between Queen Kristina (Aries) and Contess Ebba Sparre (piesces) Lady in Waiting

Under the influence of these circumstances, 'Aries woman never look
back in the past' is simply untrue. But I agree in advance that Hei-An
Spiritualism may not be readily acceptable to Average Christian Population

(prejudice against suicide)

I grew up with one of these cousins. Almost all of them
were hauntingly beautiful tall, slender, with lush dark hair, and constantly

clinging for unconditional constancy of love. Once she

acknowledged the existance of mutual love ( whether infantile

or adultdid not mke much difference) She was lenient and

supportive of me even to the extent offering her back and

formal kimono and 3ft long hair she wore as place to hide

my face behind when I did not want to hear about anything
[FONT=&quot]or simply did not want to answer to the questions This was
only whilst I was small enough to fit.
[/FONT]
 

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pinecloud

Well-known member
Do I really deserve this lady as my companion?

I thank you so much for posting a comment and for time looking at my chart. When My father Japanese Army Colonel, the 1st Count of Kujo lost his job as Military Attache by the order of US General McCarthur under US Occupation of Japan He ask Harumi's Father a large sum of inheritance from previous generation The duke asked in exchange of my life as adapted heir/future spouse for HSH Harumi and my father said no way even I was his third son.It would have made both Harumi and I imensely happy since I was going to become foster brother to Harumi during 1950-1953, My father and my mother had disharmonious souls.Townspeople,Postman and Constables and like all believed that we were twins My father still pursued and demanded1/4 of property value in court, my father also deceived our grand mother and sold all exotic antiques corrected or presented during our grandfather's Embassy Service to Japan. I believe that marriage proposal to HSH Laby Harumi would make her immensely happy since she talked about it when I divorced an American wife. HSH Laby Harumi wanted to adapt the son Daniel by American wife. I tried to convince American wife by benefit of Daniel to have Name as HSH Lord Daniel Kujo, but she was not interested to give up Daniel for any price, even for the price of the house we lived in. I never had such obsession about having a male child when I married since I was a feminist always catering to female. I shampooed Harumi's 3 ft long hair as if I was her Lady in Waiting when we lived together during 1950-1953 as a foster brother . Harumi met two men between her age 17 - 25 who proposed her for marriage Almost all my female cousins in Kyoto shared fear of their fate due to limited number of healthy carriers of ancient imperial blood line. They do not have much choice t except o marry an aristocrat or a descendant of feudal samurai war lord. Further there is unwritten codes that they will be forced to give up title of 'Lady' or 'Her Serene Highness' if failed to give birth to a viable heir within five years. Thefeudal families expects her to shave off all her hair and spend rest of her life in a Buddhist monastary and remain unseen to public.she brought this topic twice to my attention when someone proposed her for marriage.We hugged and wept together for hours. She was so stunned to find a someone in an opposite sex to truely understands and sympathises her fear so vividly. We promissed that We would throw our selves to Hozu Rapids together if she ever has to shave her head in hope that our soul to be united to eternnal peace. The promise instilled helpless clinging to one another and even haunting dreams helplesslylooking for one another for rest of our lives. I have always been drawn to someone with her resemblance. It is very hard for any Japanese person not to love Harumi. She speaks Sweet dialect typical of 19 century Kyoto amongst peerage. when the city was the Capital of Japan. During high school years she received a passionate love letters even from female admirerer from the Second Place Winner after Harumi at Hollyhock Festival Beauty contest. Possibility of for myself getting acepted by the duke will be totally up tp Harumi. the duke is already 93 and will be94 in this October he is still quitel healthy. For Harumi's sake, I feel I wasted her prime years for me.There will be guilt I was not next to her when shee needed. I do not want to be criticised I came back to her since I had no where to go by townspeople But I finally could accet I belongingto her soul forever. I feel that I have had rather sad life since because I had not understood my own feeling. I wondered How someone originally destined to become a Princess Kujo of Yamashiro (Old name forKyoto could learn to love me. She was blessed with the beauty that run in the family for the centuries but her true beauty comes from the elegance of her lithe gait and postures, movements, and the language she speaks. all distinctively aristocratic. She was certain about our mutual love by march 1954 at age 10 about our future two months before she turned 15. she already believed that she meant to be my wife and have 3 children before her age 21. She seemed very impatient whenever waiting for an answer. She mentioned. I remember her habit of leaning her chin over my shoulder blade whenever we talked about the relationship. I watched ourselves in front of a mirror. She looked bossy but immensely sweet. She did this use the same posture at our school in front of teachers and students. she had absolutely no hesitation becoming the first married couple amongst our class mates.


I really want to know 1) how long I can stay reasonably:cool: healthy to move on?.
2)Is Harumi truly sentimntal as she acts ?
3) what is the advantage over the Nurse ?
 

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pinecloud

Well-known member
You relate to the Scorpio sign because your Cancer Sun is in dwad Scorpio (this is based on the degree of your Sun). This gives another "flavor" to your Cancer Sun, which means you exhibit some Scorpio traits rather then true Cancer traits. Most Scorpio's are very deep individuals that have a hard time opening up and expressing themselves to others. Plus your Sun is in the 1st house/2nd house (self-worth) so this dwad is magnified by being on an angle. :sleeping:


Hi Munchkin,

You have given me a great advice regarding decantes before. Can you tel mewhat do you see in these two charts? I bacame very attracted to this person who lives on the other side of earth.I looked for an old photo of myself. I have verified that I have had the same nose and mouth as this female person when I was at her age. Do you see anything common in these two charts making look like brother-sister like morphological parallelism?
 

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pinecloud

Well-known member
Two Cancer Charts

So you have your basics, sun, moon and rising....look at those and the elements:Air, earth, water and fire...what do you have most of?
you would like to know just ask.

Hi Stephanie,

Thank you for your time and initiative in helping me.

I envy the people with well balanced moon, venus not affected by Uranus or Neptune affliction such as this female chart, at a half of my age, she has accomplished more than twice that I have. She has very strong venus like me but not afflicted like mine. I lost this girl anyway but she was dynamic and powerful. is there clue why she is so powerful. her chart resemble mine a lot.
Again, thank you for your time.
 

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pinecloud

Well-known member
So you have your basics, sun, moon and rising....look at those and the elements:Air, earth, water and fire...what do you have most of?
you would like to know just ask.

Hi Stephanie,

Thank you for your time and initiative in helping me.

Both charts have air the most. Mine 7 Hers 5
She is blessed with financial success as well.

I envy the people like her with well balanced moon, venus not affected by Uranus or Neptune affliction such as this female chart, at half of my age, she has accomplished more than twice that I have. She has very strong venus like me capable making others beautiful but not afflicted like mine. I lost this girl anyway but she was dynamic and powerful. is there clue why she is so powerful. her chart resemble mine a lot.
Again, thank you for your time.
 
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smilingsteph

Well-known member
Pinecloud,
I am glad that I have helped you even if I only helped a little. :wink:

I am not going to do a synastry thing between you two, as I am not good at that.

I can see though why you are attracted to her. She has her venus rising. I bet she is very beautiful. Her Pluto is also in her 5th house, allowing her to have some power when it comes to her lovers.

I cannot tell due to the poor graphics of this chart in particular or my poor eyes, but I can see where she is very successful. She has what looks to be a tight conjunction between the sun, moon, and mercury located in the 2nd house of finances. So she shines when she is using her mind (mercury) and her heart (moon) to make a career for herself.

The charts do seem similar. You both have Gemini rising and Sagittarius on the descendant. Some would say that you probably would do better with a female who has Gemini on the descendant. With the same signs rising and setting it may be harder in a relationship. Is this the nurse? I see her as a nurse?

Are you in the medical profession yourself?

Your moon is placed in the seventh house, desiring and craving that stability of love in a relationship. Pluto in the 3rd house can make one constantly obsess over your thoughts.
I see that your sun is afflicted by neptune, so you may have an esteem issue. With your sun in the 2nd house (almost I think) having trouble with neptune in the 5th shows you are not secure with yourself in the sexuality realm.

Wow your story sounds like something of a Hollywood movie, it is really beautiful and sad at the same time. Sounds like you have waited many years to have her.

I dont know what to say; I say to follow your heart, even if it gets broken because your heart is in pieces anyways without her.

What is the choice you are trying to make here? I think that the language is a bit confusing to follow.
 

pinecloud

Well-known member
What is the choice you are trying to make here? I think that the language is a bit confusing to follow.[/QUOTE]

I am not making any choice here but have to work to find a way to retire back in Japan.In the course of my life, I unknowingly used 1 out every 4 women (including Harumi make pay sacrificial retribution to the way I was treated by my parents and it is crucial not to continue this to have peaceful afterlife.

Hello again Smiling Stephanie,

You seem to be blessed with a psychic ability to create a mental image from the chart and focus into it like what ticks their life of that chart person.

I am born between parents who perceived that the love was like militaristic campaigns of feudal Samurai war lords and that everything had to have only bipolar ends. In another words, win or lose, nothing in between. It only helped me in maintaining high average grades in schools at the near top in most of classes, but did not help me anything else in the real world situations. I suffered with confusion and delusion all my life about anything concerns of love. In consequence, I began to look for shelter where ever I can let go of unhappy childhood experiences. I am often so fascinated by love between two women. I suppose it as a sign of desperately craving for missed dose of a womanly expression of love and unconditional compassion that was absent in my mother. I seem to accurately spot persons who are beholders of the desired traits including in this French born Chinese actress whose chart somewhat resemble to Nobel Prize Lauriate 14th His Supreme Holiness, Dalai Lama.This is my guess what went in my mind. In 1920's 43rd duke of Kujo was a Colonial Governor of Manchuria.My grand parents were not so 'hard on' colonists like others were in reference to the varieties of gifts they received during their stay. I have had sorrowful experience from their old hatred of Japanese colonist In general, anyone related to Kujo or Konoye family are not welcomed to ShangHai even today. In 1980's I had many Chinese friends and particularly enjoyed making obscene and distasteful jokes and drawing dirty caricatures about uniquely chinese connotations since I can write Chinese as well at a well known Chinese Restaurants and teased the waitresses

When I passed an Exam for a very high paying civil service job as City Redevelopment Planner with the City of San Francisco, it only lasted 6 months just a week short of completing probation period. since one of ShangHai-born Chinese Official at Civil Service Commission marked 'failed' on my evaluation papers with my two years old obscene caricature of a Chinese turtle attached thereto annotating 'detrimental to senior public service'. This is all left in the past, However, when I saw one of Chinese film Mylène was in it, all the sudden I wanted to reconcile all the negative memories on the both part (perhaps because Mylène looked so genuinely Chinese or Japanese physically inside out) I am really curious to find out what went on my parent's psyche when you have time. I also added Nurse Regina's chart. Is she a promiscuous person? She did seem very serious like Cancer or Capricorn though.
 

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smilingsteph

Well-known member
I didnt look much into the Regina's chart, but venus in the 12th house can lead to passions that are behind closed doors. These passions can lead to secret affairs. I dont think that she is an unfaithful person, but she may have the tendencies to want to pursue relations with others either in secret or have secret affairs when she has a relationship.

I will look more into your chart....
 

smilingsteph

Well-known member
You probably have a deep need for security and fufillment in relationships with your moon in the 7th house. If you are not getting this in your current relationships then you might seek attention elsewhere.
Your sun and moon are opposing eachother, so your parents may have not been the best companions. I think that you have a desire to be loved, yet yearn for freedom. To balance between freedom and being in a relationship is probably difficult.

You probably have had some unique jobs in your life, but staying long term was probably an issue, because you maybe didnt see eye to eye with those that supervised you. Mars is making some troublesome connections to your MC (your career) issues with tempers in your job. Unique jobs by aquarius cusping the MC. Mars in the 12th house can make your energy levels come and go, so keeping up with a usual day to day job may not be in your best interest.

I also think that neptune in your fifth house can make you wear "rose tinted glasses" when having encounters with the opposite sex. You over idolize and provide a fantasy approach to women that you find attractive. Women that are out of reach for you. You are attracted to those that are working, or those that work hard and have strong ambitions (virgo cusping the 5th house). 12th house mars, can lead to an unusual or unique way of expressing your sexuality. You might have some unresolved angers that need to be let out, tensions that need to be out in order for happiness to come forth. Mars here shows you can hide rage, anger and if you do let them out you might end up giving into others holding more anger. Mars here can make you sort of lazy about going for what you want, it seems that in your past relationships you seem sad because you did not go after the loves you had and you are only now trying to figure out why, when the past was so long ago. I think you may be going through a transit period where you are allowing yourself to go back to the past and heal the old wounds that hurt you. (chiron transiting over your 9th house).
 
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