What type of man is he?

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
I have recently met this man and things are going really well so far even though it is early days and last night I got his permission and birth details for the first time and now I would like to know what type of man is he.

We have been talking since December but only had our first date on Valentine's Day and it actually went really well. Then we have met up a couple of weeks ago and meeting up again tonight. So it is still early days but I can't believe how healthy our dynamic is together and how lovely and well-mannered he is but not in a 'pansy' way, he still has something about him. We just seem yo be a really good match for each other!

His good manners can be seen by the Libra rising and the trine from Jupiter to his Venus and Moon. The Moon-Saturn aspect will help make him well-mannered too, he is quite reserved in a shy way. He still has something about him though, he was confident enough to take the initiative and kiss me the first time we met up.

I am a very jealous person and can be insecure. After the first time we met up, I noticed he had been on a dating app so I phoned him up (I tried to stop myself but I couldn't) and told him to get the f*** off Badoo and hung up. He messaged me saying I cant blame him if we have only met up once and then I said well what happens if you hook up with somebody, no way I would sleep with you then and he said, OK , I haven't spoken to anybody else and a he updated me he had deleted everything off his phone. I apologized for being aggressive and he said its ok I like it I just wasnt expecting it so soon. That was so nice!!!! Im so used to having to fight to stand my ground and end up getting hurt because the guy is always meaner.

This guy describes himself as submissive. I think this is the Mars Cancer retrograde but trine Pluto, so he still has something about him and isnt a wallflower and he said he knows exactly how to handle me. For example, my insecurities and my walls, I start arguments and it never usually gets anywhere with the guy. This even happened with his big brother who asked me out a few years earlier and a few days after I agreed to meet up, I started a pointless argument. I did the same with this guy and he did not get impatient at all, he did not answer back or give me any ammunition to go on so eventually I just laughed and said youre so funny and he said lol youre cute.

So you can see he is not just submissive but has some thinking behind it. He is giving me the power. Because I feel so happy and healthy I just feel really passionate towards him. He even asked me if he could watch **** and what type and I just kinda sat with my mouth open for a few seconds feeling really happy but confused. Why have I not met a man like this before.

Anyway, I would like someone to dissect him please so I can see if he has relationship potential.

He has Venus square Pluto - he told me he has learnt the hard way not to be too persistent because it scares the girl off. So he is passionate but he has learnt to hold himself back. It is a shame he has has to learn that the hard way because he really is just passionate and has good intentions all round.

The only thing is is the second time we met up he was on cocaine. When he told me I was shocked and his eyes widened and his mouth quivered in a funny way like he was in trouble from his Mother which was quite cute. This is the Neptune opposite Mars, I think he struggles with his shyness. He was still so calm on the outside, the only way I could tell he was on cocaine was when he said feel my heart it is beating really fast. He just acts so calm on the outside.

So as we spend more time together and he is less shy, I am hoping the need for drugs will go and I will offer him a more healthy lifestyle. But he is healing me because he is so polite and respectful towards me. This is not an older man like the man previous who is an injured soul who needs healing. This man lack confidence (moon-saturn) but is healing me as much as I could heal him.

Sorry for the long explanation, I am just so amazed by how nice he is. If anyone could give me some greater insight to him so I can make sure I understand him and the connection grows I would be very grateful.

Richardbirthchart.jpg
 

thelivingsky

Well-known member
Well, Jupiter on the Ascendant in Libra is certainly going to appear very gracious and polite. He also has Venus sextile Mercury to add to the charm factor. But that is what is on the outside.

Your suggestion that somehow you will be the reason he gives up a drug habit is foolish IMO. This is a huge red flag.

He has a very difficult Mars, not just by being in Cancer but the aspects opposed Uranus and Neptune and inconjunct to Mercury and Venus. So he may indeed have some issues with assertiveness, but then that often shows up in being passive-aggressive which is very damaging to relationships.

His Sun in Capricorn should carry some ambition, but if that is frustrated by his Mars issues, he will be unhappy. He has Sun, Saturn, Moon and Venus all in signs that are ruled or co-ruled by Saturn so he likely has very conventional/conservative attitudes about many things. You should investigate those.

And I suspect he is not good with money, with that Jupiter in Libra squaring Uranus and Neptune- somewhat careless, and spendthrift tendencies.


Barb at thelivingsky.wordpress.com
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Thank you for taking a look.

It was a bit of a wake up call. I should really be looking for somebody already on the same page as me instead of seeing the potential of what they could be because they might never become that and then it will be a pointless task.

It did make me think he is bad with money if he is buying cocaine. He wasn't even at a party, there was no need to take it. Not that taking it at a party is any better but it was a Sunday evening.

I was just so charmed by his good manners. Not that he was deliberately charming or fooling me but he is just such a nice guy and that was so refreshing. I do not think I would want someone unreliable and I think he would be. That would drive me crazy.

I will not write him off just yet but at least I am thinking and seeing him more clearly now. :crying:
 

katydid

Well-known member
I too, have concerns about his Mars situation. It is at the top of his chart, but is retro in Cancer, in it’s fall. That may be why he wanted to do some coke before his big date with you—to get some extra confidence?:unsure:

I see some lovely things about him, and am not writing him off. Just saying that he might be a bit erratic and impulsive at times. :tongue:

Mars, the ruler of his 7th, is in his 10th. It does get support from his Pluto, in his 2nd, which is passionate and deep. So that gives you something to work with. But that opposition to Uranus/Neptune straddling his IC might give you trouble. He makes some rash decisions, often based upon false notions, and the T-square to Jupiter has him double down on those decisions at times.

Does he have steady work? His job situation might give you some solid clues about his Mars status. Is he reliable and responsible or does he have a lot of excuses about why he can’t catch a break?

His Mercury/Venus sextile is nice and gives him a clever take on things, and makes him quick and perceptive. But the midpoint of that Mercury/Venus=Mars/Neptune.

Mercury/Venus=Mars/Neptune——that could be a problem. I hope he does a lot of artistic, creative work so he can put this aspect to good use.
Otherwise, it can end up being a more negative energy, and kind of an uneccessary train of untruths, distortions, evasiveness.

I do like that triple trine from Jupiter to Moon/Saturn/Venus in his 4th. I think that at his core, he wants to be true and solid. He has a lot of ethics and principles and he wants to live by them. He knows he is not perfect—but wants to be as good as he can be.

With that North Node in his 3rd, conjunct Mercury, his lesson in this life may be to stay true to his word and to his friends and ideals.

His Cap Sun in his 3rd, has almost no aspects—just a very wide square to Jupiter. So he does not have a lot of self confidence. He may exude some confidence with that Jupiter on his Ascendant. But it is a front.

I think he is a good guy, looking to improve himself, but needing some help and support, even as he has some missteps along the way with his impulsive decisions and confusion.:love:
 
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Lin

Well-known member
I would not trust him.

A person's natural personality and impulses can be totally subsumed by drug addiction.

He does not like confrontation and finds it easier to agree to whatever you want than to have an intelligent discussion about the ''issues.''
For this information I noted the 2 most unstable energies, Uranus and Neptune straddling his 4th house cusp (probably the worst place in the chart to have Neptune) and opposing a retrograde Mars. Neptune on the IC also represents an identity crisis lifetime, a dysfunctional family and very often addiction of the person himself or in the original family.....if not addiction, then secrets and lies...or all of them.


You did not help with your language when you told him to get off the dating site.
It was vulgar and not necessary. It also let's the other person know that you will resort of vulgarity in lieu of normal discussion.

So...the question is, what type of woman are YOU??

And where is your chart?

And would you want a man permanently who spends money on drugs? Even ''socially''....it is one of the most addictive mind altering substances. And his chart says he NEEDS to escape....on a regular basis.... so...do you want a partner who NEEDS to escape this way? He won't change ''for'' you. They never do. If they make those changes it's because they have found it really doesn't work in their lives.

Being with him would be a hard road....in my opinion.

LIN
 
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katydid

Well-known member
I would not trust him.

A person's natural personality and impulses can be totally subsumed by drug addiction.

He does not like confrontation and finds it easier to agree to whatever you want than to have an intelligent discussion about the ''issues.''

You did not help with your language when you told him to get off the dating site.
It was vulgar and not necessary. It also let's the other person know that you will resort of vulgarity in lieu of normal discussion.

So...the question is, what type of woman are YOU??

And where is your chart?

And would you want a man permanently who spends money on drugs? Even ''socially''....it is one of the most addictive mind altering substances. And his chart says he NEEDS to escape....on a regular basis.... so...do you want a partner who NEEDS to escape this way? He won't change ''for'' you. They never do. If they make those changes it's because they have found it really doesn't work in their lives.

Being with him would be a hard road....in my opinion.

LIN

I think you are being a bit harsh with this poster, in my opinion. She posted this in good faith. No need to put her on the hot seat. :annoyed:
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
I would not trust him.

A person's natural personality and impulses can be totally subsumed by drug addiction.

He does not like confrontation and finds it easier to agree to whatever you want than to have an intelligent discussion about the ''issues.''
For this information I noted the 2 most unstable energies, Uranus and Neptune straddling his 4th house cusp (probably the worst place in the chart to have Neptune) and opposing a retrograde Mars. Neptune on the IC also represents an identity crisis lifetime, a dysfunctional family and very often addiction of the person himself or in the original family.....if not addiction, then secrets and lies...or all of them.


You did not help with your language when you told him to get off the dating site.
It was vulgar and not necessary. It also let's the other person know that you will resort of vulgarity in lieu of normal discussion.

So...the question is, what type of woman are YOU??

And where is your chart?

And would you want a man permanently who spends money on drugs? Even ''socially''....it is one of the most addictive mind altering substances. And his chart says he NEEDS to escape....on a regular basis.... so...do you want a partner who NEEDS to escape this way? He won't change ''for'' you. They never do. If they make those changes it's because they have found it really doesn't work in their lives.

Being with him would be a hard road....in my opinion.

LIN

What type of woman am I? I am the type of woman who is conscientious about her faults. That is why I listed my fault in public. I have spent lots of times being honest about the good and bad things about myself and maybe that is why I do not try to hide it. It is a red flag to me when somebody does not see their own faults but msot people do not see it that way and like yourself did, they project on to me. I see it for what it is though.

It possibly makes me an easy target because I was so honest about not being able to control my emotions. Not that emotions can be controlled but I can learn to change the way I communicate them. That is what I try to do but it doesnt always work.

Hey, if it did work all the time, I would have reincarnated as the dalai lama but I did not, I reincarnated as me.

What type of woman are you? Something triggered you to be so judgemental. The reason for this is because we are all humans who desire unconditional love and who are not perfect.

I try to ask myself this question - is it necessary, is it truthful and is it kind? LI should have done instead of swearing to this man and you should have done the same before you judged me harshly.

So we are very similar that we both desire unconditional love and we are not always kind. I can sense loneliness in your words which is preventing you from adhering to the above principles.

If it does not serve others or give unconditional love to the world, then our behaviours needs moderated. But I am trying. Cut me, do I not bleed? As do you.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
I too, have concerns about his Mars situation. It is at the top of his chart, but is retro in Cancer, in it’s fall. That may be why he wanted to do some coke before his big date with you—to get some extra confidence?:unsure:

I see some lovely things about him, and am not writing him off. Just saying that he might be a bit erratic and impulsive at times. :tongue:

Mars, the ruler of his 7th, is in his 10th. It does get support from his Pluto, in his 2nd, which is passionate and deep. So that gives you something to work with. But that opposition to Uranus/Neptune straddling his IC might give you trouble. He makes some rash decisions, often based upon false notions, and the T-square to Jupiter has him double down on those decisions at times.

Does he have steady work? His job situation might give you some solid clues about his Mars status. Is he reliable and responsible or does he have a lot of excuses about why he can’t catch a break?

His Mercury/Venus sextile is nice and gives him a clever take on things, and makes him quick and perceptive. But the midpoint of that Mercury/Venus=Mars/Neptune.

Mercury/Venus=Mars/Neptune——that could be a problem. I hope he does a lot of artistic, creative work so he can put this aspect to good use.
Otherwise, it can end up being a more negative energy, and kind of an uneccessary train of untruths, distortions, evasiveness.

I do like that triple trine from Jupiter to Moon/Saturn/Venus in his 4th. I think that at his core, he wants to be true and solid. He has a lot of ethics and principles and he wants to live by them. He knows he is not perfect—but wants to be as good as he can be.

With that North Node in his 3rd, conjunct Mercury, his lesson in this life may be to stay true to his word and to his friends and ideals.

His Cap Sun in his 3rd, has almost no aspects—just a very wide square to Jupiter. So he does not have a lot of self confidence. He may exude some confidence with that Jupiter on his Ascendant. But it is a front.

I think he is a good guy, looking to improve himself, but needing some help and support, even as he has some missteps along the way with his impulsive decisions and confusion.:love:

Thank you Katydid for taking a look at this man.

I am glad you see the good in him. My impression is he is a really lovely man but it just lost and lack confidence, exactly like you described.

It is interesting you ask about his job because he works very hard. He told me he had had lots of jobs, mainly in cooking, but this job fits him very well. He is away for a couple of weeks at a time planting about 200 trees a day, he said it is very hard but he loves being in the countryside and visiting different parts of the country.

I think this fits him very well because it has escapist tendencies to it, gives him the freedom that needs, but is hard work and is building his self-esteem (Pluto in 2nd).

Well, just to update. We are currently not on speaking terms. We had agreed to meet up last night and I waited for him to message me and he never did. I messaged him this morning asking what happened and he said it 'slipped his mind.' I was so upset because I had spent hours beautifying myself. I said, well it should be easy for me to slip your mind permanently then and dont message me again.

I do not think I over-reacted, I think it is horrible he did not sound more concerned and something doesnt feel right to me, if he likes me so much, how could I slip his mind?

I posted a horary about us recently, this is the Venus-Mars square. I know there will be contact again but tbh I dont think it is going anywhere. The unreliability, it would hurt my feelings too much like it already has done.

Maybe I am too intense. Hopefully I find my person soon. This guy was so lovely and genuine but I dont want to slip someone's mind. I am very deflated.

Thank you for all the responses. Im sorry for myself this was not my man.
 

katydid

Well-known member
I am so sorry to hear this. I was hoping you had found a good guy. :sad:


I don't believe that you 'slipped his mind.' :pinched:

Here is what I think describes it better---from something I had noted in his chart:


Mercury/Venus=Mars/Neptune——that could be a problem. I hope he does a lot of artistic, creative work so he can put this aspect to good use.

Otherwise, it can end up being a more negative energy, and kind of an uneccessary train of untruths, distortions, evasiveness.

>>>>>untruths, distortions, evasiveness<<<<<<<<<
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Yes, something is not right. There was untruth and evasiveness to it. Why? I have no idea. Is there somebody else, is he scared to become attached. I have no idea what it is.

What I do know is the sad reality is he is a bit immature and has not done as much work on himself as what I have, even though I still have faults. I think it will be almost impossible to find somebody compatible AND who is working on themselves.

I am so genuinely deflated. I dont get it.

Edit: if he messages me again, I will pull him about the evasiveness and accept nothing less.
 
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Lin

Well-known member
I think a successful partnership takes 2 people who are willing to be honest about their own shortcomings, and to take half responsibility for issues which arise. Even if that means poor judging in choosing a partner.
Maybe neither of these people are ready for long term commitment.
LIN
PS: ANY addictive behavior should make one run for the hills. It NEVER goes away.
 

Lin

Well-known member
When someone asks a question here, they can never be guaranteed an answer they like. I am wondering why the question, What kind of woman are you? is thought of as ''off limits'' or insulting. It's just a question....like the question asked, "what kind of man is he?"

When a person is very defensive it tells me that she/he is not being honest with her/him self.

I can't guarantee the way someone will respond to honest questions. Or any interpretation I give about a chart.

I've been doing this over 40 years and I'm considered pretty accurate. If I am inaccurate in this case, - well....that will remain to be seen.

Good luck,
LIN
 

thelivingsky

Well-known member
I commented quite early on this thread and have not since. But a point that has not been raised is why this man chose to tell you that he was on cocaine at your second meeting. Sometimes people hide this type of behavior knowing it is a red flag for many not to mention it is illegal.



So was he hoping to find someone who would simply not mind that he does this despite the risks, both legal and psychological? Or is he hoping to find a kindred spirit who will indulge along with him?



Of course, we cannot assume he is an addict, but it is likely. For an addict, the partner is always at least second on the list of priorities, and the addiction is always first. This is not my opinion; psychologists will tell you this. Partners always tire of playing second fiddle when they are placing their addict partner first, but not getting same in return.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
When someone asks a question here, they can never be guaranteed an answer they like. I am wondering why the question, What kind of woman are you? is thought of as ''off limits'' or insulting. It's just a question....like the question asked, "what kind of man is he?"

When a person is very defensive it tells me that she/he is not being honest with her/him self.

I can't guarantee the way someone will respond to honest questions. Or any interpretation I give about a chart.

I've been doing this over 40 years and I'm considered pretty accurate. If I am inaccurate in this case, - well....that will remain to be seen.

Good luck,
LIN

Hi Lin, it wasn’t really about whether your astrology was accurate or not but about your delivery. You could have chosen to be patient, kind and understanding. So what I don’t get is now you’re complaining that people didn’t show you consideration back but surely you should know, you get what you give back. I didn’t think my message to you was insulting but here you are complaining about it, which is totally rich.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
I commented quite early on this thread and have not since. But a point that has not been raised is why this man chose to tell you that he was on cocaine at your second meeting. Sometimes people hide this type of behavior knowing it is a red flag for many not to mention it is illegal.



So was he hoping to find someone who would simply not mind that he does this despite the risks, both legal and psychological? Or is he hoping to find a kindred spirit who will indulge along with him?



Of course, we cannot assume he is an addict, but it is likely. For an addict, the partner is always at least second on the list of priorities, and the addiction is always first. This is not my opinion; psychologists will tell you this. Partners always tire of playing second fiddle when they are placing their addict partner first, but not getting same in return.

He never tried to get me to take drugs and I never felt under any pressure. He probably didn’t feel the need to hide it because he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong. I know the people he hangs about with and most of them will do the same, weed and cocaine. Maybe some just dabble but he is smoking weed everyday and probably cocaine most weekends from what I managed to gather.

As can be seen in his chart with Jupiter squaring Uranus-Neptune, he is more hapless than he is manipulative and in need of confidence rather than trying to be a bad influence on someone.

However, there is no doubt a dark side to drugs. It makes people selfish without them realizing it and I think that is what happened here. He stood me up and is feeling sorry for himself because I told him some truths. He stood me up and I said how would he feel if someone treated his daughter like that. Now he feels hurt but has only made excuses still about why he stood me up. If he didn’t take drugs, he would be an amazing partner.

He’s hurt me so much and too selfish and immature to really make amends for it. So I’ve walked away. I like to give people chances though, I see the pain he is in and that he is a good guy, just lost and hapless. But I’m also really hurt and there’s no point giving somebody a second chance if they haven’t fully owned up. He doesn’t know what he wants.
 
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katydid

Well-known member
He never tried to get me to take drugs and I never felt under any pressure. He probably didn’t feel the need to hide it because he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong. I know the people he hangs about with and most of them will do the same, weed and cocaine. Maybe some just dabble but he is smoking weed everyday and probably cocaine most weekends from what I managed to gather.

As can be seen in his chart with Jupiter squaring Uranus-Neptune, he is more hapless than he is manipulative and in need of confidence rather than trying to be a bad influence on someone.

However, there is no doubt a dark side to drugs. It makes people selfish without them realizing it and I think that is what happened here. He stood me up and is feeling sorry for himself because I told him some truths. He stood me up and I said how would he feel if someone treated his daughter like that. Now he feels hurt but has only made excuses still about why he stood me up. If he didn’t take drugs, he would be an amazing partner.

He’s hurt me so much and too selfish and immature to really make amends for it. So I’ve walked away. I like to give people chances though, I see the pain he is in and that he is a good guy, just lost and hapless. But I’m also really hurt and there’s no point giving somebody a second chance if they haven’t fully owned up. He doesn’t know what he wants.

Walking away is the correct response ,in my opinion. He is not stable or reliable at this time.

You are seeking stability and reliability so there is no reason for you to continue with this hapless situation.

When you walk away from something that is unsatisfactory, you are signalling the Universe that you are looking for something more suitable. :innocent:
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Walking away is the correct response ,in my opinion. He is not stable or reliable at this time.

You are seeking stability and reliability so there is no reason for you to continue with this hapless situation.

When you walk away from something that is unsatisfactory, you are signalling the Universe that you are looking for something more suitable. :innocent:

Yes I agree. This is a love lesson. It is annoying because when he finally does get his act together he will be an amazing partner but it's not with me :pinched: I will meet somebody new eventually.
 

wan

Well-known member
Me trying to do a cold-reading: I think he's a real goal-setter and go-getter, with so many angular planets. He initiates things and gets the ball rolling. A real alpha-male type.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Me trying to do a cold-reading: I think he's a real goal-setter and go-getter, with so many angular planets. He initiates things and gets the ball rolling. A real alpha-male type.

Yeah he does have something about him even though he described himself as submissive. He's definitely got something about him. Best of both worlds. I messaged him. I hope he responds positively.
 
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